Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Imperial Oasis (second nomination)

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Imperial Oasis

Nominated by: StarsiderSWG 23:49, July 12, 2011 (UTC)
Nomination comments: Second nomination for a good article. Will be willing to fix any problems.

(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)

Support

Cavalier One^{(Squadron channel)} 21:21, July 29, 2011 (UTC)
Good work.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 12:23, August 16, 2011 (UTC)
Excellent work. Menkooroo 06:54, August 22, 2011 (UTC)
I'm glad to see others bringing SWG articles up to status :). OLIOSTER ^(talk) 21:33, August 22, 2011 (UTC)
Superb.--Talrrivanian ^{(Headquarters)} 13:59, August 27, 2011 (UTC)
—Tommy 9281 Sunday, September 11, 2011, 04:27 UTC

Object

Exiled Jedi

~~At first glance, you need to source the final sentence of the BTS. (I put a fact tag there.)~~--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 00:08, July 13, 2011 (UTC)
- At this time I cannot find a source. So I simply removed the sentence StarsiderSWG 00:23, July 13, 2011 (UTC)
~~Source the quote in the behind the scenes section.~~
- No, I do not think that is the correct way to source it, you need to provide a webpage or written source, not a company name.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 22:17, July 15, 2011 (UTC)
  - Just a reminder to the nominator that this objection has been idle for two weeks now, formally making this nomination eligible for removal on these grounds. I strongly suggest you make an effort to resolve this objection shortly if you wish the nomination to continue. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:29, July 29, 2011 (UTC)
~~The introduction on this article needs to be expanded to better summarize the entire article.~~
- Much better.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 22:17, July 15, 2011 (UTC)
In the BTS you call it an Imperial garrison, but in the behind the scenes you only mention it as a body of water. If there is a body of water known as the Imperial Oasis please mention this in the intro and more clearly in the body of the article.
- Better, but in the description I believe it would be better to have the information about the lake before the information about the military installation.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 22:17, July 15, 2011 (UTC)
  - All right that's good.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 21:32, July 27, 2011 (UTC)
~~I would try to use fewer paragraphs in the behind the scenes section and the history section.~~
~~There seem to be a fair number of linking problems in the article mostly where you forgot to link things. Please look over the article and find things that you might have forgot to link.~~
Perhaps more later.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 22:59, July 13, 2011 (UTC)
- Okay, I will fix these and soon as I can, and to the best of my ability. StarsiderSWG 20:40, July 15, 2011 (UTC)
  - Alright, I believe I've fixed the problems, but I'll still be ready to amend anything else if needed. StarsiderSWG 21:42, July 15, 2011 (UTC)
~~Mention the 1.5 BBY date in the introduction when you are talking about Colonel Darkstone.~~
~~Context on Jubai Laetlii, who exactly was this?~~
- Better, but a little more description of the species or gender of this person would be good.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 03:40, July 20, 2011 (UTC)
It's getting better, but it still needs more work. I'll look it over again in a day or two.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 22:17, July 15, 2011 (UTC)
- Made some more updates to it. StarsiderSWG 02:14, July 20, 2011 (UTC)
The following sentence is speculative: "Whether or not this painting depicted some sort of battle, real or otherwise, is unclear, but it was titled Imperial Oasis Incident, and was issued out by Navari Trik in Mos Eisley as part of the Galactic Empire painting contest." I would suggest placing the part of the sentence before the "and" in gamemechanics tags, and wording it from the perspective of the spacer that found the painting. Please also reword the remaining part of the sentence that is after the "and". Doing this will split this long sentence into two smaller ones, and remove the speculation.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 03:47, July 20, 2011 (UTC)
- Okay, changing it a bit now. But out of curiosity, what exactly are "game mechanic" tags? StarsiderSWG 14:48, July 20, 2011 (UTC)
  - Look at the Party Poster article, I used them in a simliar way there.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 15:12, July 20, 2011 (UTC)
    - Ah, thanks. Added it in now. I think I put it where it should be. StarsiderSWG 21:38, July 20, 2011 (UTC)
      - Yeah, that's right, but you can't say "either robbed or killed" you need to say one situatuion inside of the gamemechanics tags (preferably the most likely scenario) and then mention any alternate scenarios in the behind the scenes section.
        Alright, I assumed he wasn't killed, and explained the alternate possibility in the BTS section. Hopefully it's not too wordy. StarsiderSWG 22:26, July 20, 2011 (UTC)
        No that is about the right amount, good work.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 22:32, July 20, 2011 (UTC)
~~You need to source all of the behind the scenes section.~~--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 21:32, July 27, 2011 (UTC)
- I don't think you can source the entire behind the scenes section to that single IGN reference. You could probably source all but the last sentence to Star Wars Galaxies, and then leave the last sentence sourced to IGN.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 23:00, July 29, 2011 (UTC)
  - My bad. I'll go ahead and source it all StarsiderSWG 02:53, August 14, 2011 (UTC)

Cav:

~~Intro: stylistically, switching some of the info around would make it flow better. Placing information on its location before mentioning it was garrisoned by the Empire, for instance.~~
~~Intro: Is there an article for the mission to save Dr Bledsoe? If not, one should be created and linked to.~~
~~Description: similar to the above, switching the paragraphs would make the section flow better.~~
~~History: It was said that the Empire built this outpost near the oasis to have easy access to drinking water. - said by whom?~~
~~Behind the scenes: the quote is sourced to Sony. Generally, though, when using quotes from oou sources, a link to the actual interview is required in the source field.~~ - Cavalier One^{(Squadron channel)} 11:51, July 26, 2011 (UTC)
- Sure, I'll get all those matters addressed as soon as I can. StarsiderSWG 00:24, July 27, 2011 (UTC)
  - Resolved, though I'm not sure how to properly source the BTS quote. StarsiderSWG 21:26, July 27, 2011 (UTC)
    - Fixed this one - add "url=" before the web address to produce the source coding (without the quotation marks). - Cavalier One^{(Squadron channel)} 21:21, July 29, 2011 (UTC)

Tal strikes

~~In the Description how do we know that the water is in some places deep enough to swim in? Please ref.~~ Talrrivanian ^{(Headquarters)}
~~Also in the history section, how do we know that two structures had lavish furniture and elegant bedrooms? Ref this also.~~Talrrivanian ^{(Headquarters)}
~~Please expand the history section to make the article more rounded.~~Talrrivanian ^{(Headquarters)}
- Well the first 2 problems are things that can only be seen when playing SWG. So could SWG be considered the source for that? I'll at least add some pictures of the two structures. StarsiderSWG 14:38, July 30, 2011 (UTC)
Yeah, that should do it.--Talrrivanian ^{(Headquarters)} 14:48, July 30, 2011 (UTC)
- Alright, and I updated the history section a bit. Not sure exactly what you're looking for to make it more rounded, so if there's anything specific that I should change, let me know. I'll also get some more pictures of the place uploaded today if I can. StarsiderSWG 19:50, August 2, 2011 (UTC)

Jefferson

I think the bio would benefit from an opening similar to that of the intro. The intro says that it's a body of water on Tatooine right off the bat, but the "Description" section doesn't explicitly mention Tatooine at all. As such, the reference to Tatooinian architecture kind of comes out of left field. Remember that the intro is an abstract of the article and operates independently of the body --- the body can't rely on any info already established in the intro; it needs to establish it all again.

Similarly, in the Description section, it would probably be best to establish that there is a military installation before saying "Despite being a military installation..." Giving an idea of the time period that there was an installation and civilians and elegant bedrooms and such in that section would be a good idea too, as they're not timeless aspects in the way that surrounding mountain ranges are.

I've noticed a few things that are linked to in both the "Description" and "History" sections, such as water and Galactic Empire. True, removing the double links myself would fall under the {{Sofixit}} clause, but I just want to make sure that you know to only link to everything once in the article's body. Menkooroo 16:14, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
- Makes sense. I'll get right on that. StarsiderSWG 02:25, August 8, 2011 (UTC)
  - Those problems should now be addressed. I'm just going to get around to uploading a few more pictures of the oasis. StarsiderSWG 19:32, August 11, 2011 (UTC)

Come Back, Come Back, to Mordor We'll Take You...

"In 1.5 ABY, Colonel Darkstone was stationed at the Imperial Oasis," please just give me a little more context please.

~~That's all. A quote or two somewhere would be nice if available. Well done for round two. Take heed of the changes I made.—Tommy 9281 Saturday, August 20, 2011, 19:40 UTC~~
- Sure, I'll make that a bit more clear. StarsiderSWG 15:07, August 22, 2011 (UTC)
  - Couldn't find any extra quote to use, but I think I gave a little more context now. StarsiderSWG 15:23, August 22, 2011 (UTC)
    - Actually, I think you misunderstood that which I wanted more context on, which is my fault. "Sometime following the Battle of Yavin, Colonel Darkstone was stationed at the Imperial Oasis base" doesn't give any context for Darkstone, which I what I meant.—Tommy 9281 Saturday, August 27, 2011, 17:36 UTC
      - Sorry for not responding to this sooner, I've been a little busy lately. While I want to resolve this issue, I'm not entirely sure what you mean. Information on Darkstone is rather limited, because his one and only appearance is in SWG. So there really isn't much info on his history or anything else. StarsiderSWG 04:13, September 11, 2011 (UTC)
        No worries. All I meant was that you needed to give him a smidge of context. Something like "in 1.5 ABY, the Zabrak Colonel Darkstone was stationed" is all that is required.—Tommy 9281 Sunday, September 11, 2011, 04:17 UTC
        After I wrote my last message I re-read the article. I see exactly what you meant. It was written with the assumption that the reader would know he's an Imperial Zabrak without making that immediately clear. I went ahead and fixed that. StarsiderSWG 04:20, September 11, 2011 (UTC)
        
        That's okay, a commonly made presumption. From here on out, approach your articles from the mindset that your readers have absolutely no foreknowledge of the subject material; that's an easy way to make sure you've covered all bases.—Tommy 9281 Sunday, September 11, 2011, 04:27 UTC

Olioster

Per the discussion here, the game's exact placement in the timeline is not known, so 1.5 ABY can't be used. Unless you know of a source I'm unaware of. :) OLIOSTER ^(talk) 21:46, August 20, 2011 (UTC)
~~Maybe more later once I read the whole thing :). OLIOSTER ^(talk) 21:46, August 20, 2011 (UTC)~~
- Hmm, okay then lol. Well I guess that just means I'll have to rephrase some things. StarsiderSWG 15:08, August 22, 2011 (UTC)
  - Now fixed! I think. StarsiderSWG 15:16, August 22, 2011 (UTC)
    - Just a note that speculative statements such as "It is not clear when the base was built" are a no-no. It may be unclear to us, but the people living in the SW universe probably know. Menkooroo 15:51, August 22, 2011 (UTC)
      - No prob. I went ahead and rephrased it, but if it's still a problem, let me know. StarsiderSWG 16:19, August 22, 2011 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 04:27, September 11, 2011 (UTC)