Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Hylon

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Hylon

  • Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (comlink) 00:04, June 2, 2010 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Goes with Dendro, also killed by D. Viddy.

(3 ACs/5 Users/8 Total)

Support

  1. Pre-nom reviewed. —Master Jonathan New Jedi Order (Jedi Council Chambers) 17:58, June 2, 2010 (UTC)
  2. Clone Commander Lee Talk 18:08, June 2, 2010 (UTC)
  3. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:16, June 8, 2010 (UTC)
  4. SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is the truth) 07:01, June 9, 2010 (UTC)
  5. ACvote ...D. Viddy? :P Chack Jadson (Talk) 23:19, June 9, 2010 (UTC)
  6. ACvote CC7567 (talk) 21:28, June 12, 2010 (UTC)
  7. --TK-299 (Click Here) Imperial Emblem 09:41, June 13, 2010 (UTC)
  8. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:40, June 25, 2010 (UTC)

Object

Toprawa
  • Something needs revising here: "Hylon informed Vader that had known the Sith would use a mind trick on the sugati."
    • Please try it?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:27, June 16, 2010 (UTC)
      • Better, but now you should explain for what purpose Vader has mindtricked them. For their compliance with his wishes? Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:44, June 16, 2010 (UTC)
  • I'm confused here. The article, according to the pipelink here, claims that Hylon engages Vader in a lightsaber duel, but then it says that he injures Vader with his staff. This doesn't sync up, as I understand it. His lightsaber is a staff? Please clarify what's going on here. This sentence reflects my own revisions as well, so feel free to tweak: "He then attacked Vader with his lightsaber while he was distracted and managed to injure him with his staff when blocking Vader's counterattack."
    • I think I got it? Please try it. Since he did attack him with the lightsaber, it is a lightsaber duel, but he was also using his staff.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:27, June 16, 2010 (UTC)
  • The article never explains before this point that Vader killed Dendro, just that he tracked him and the Ovoni down. If he killed all of them, please state this in the previous paragraph: "which he had taken from Hylon's Padawan when he slew him"
  • Please explain what's going on here. The previous sentences explain that Vader has already impaled Hylon with the lightsaber, so how is he now killing him? "The Sith Lord ended Hylon's life"
    • Added "mortally wounded."--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:27, June 16, 2010 (UTC)
      • You haven't made any change at all. The issue still remains. If he already stabbed him, thus mortally wounding him, how is he then subsequently killing him? Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:44, June 16, 2010 (UTC)
        • Oh. In the comic, Vader's depicted raising his lightsaber to finish off Hylon, though how he killed him is not shown. Which is why it says that he proceeded to end his life.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 22:13, June 16, 2010 (UTC)
          • Then explain that in the article, please. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:04, June 25, 2010 (UTC)
            • Is this good? The Dark Lord then used his lightsaber to end Hylon's life…--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:27, June 25, 2010 (UTC)
  • The substance of these P/T sentences should be outlined first in the biography, not left exclusively for the P/T: "Before Vader killed him on Mount Dijandi, he revealed that his name meant "trickster" in the Ovoni language. He sacrificed himself in order to ensure that the Dark Lord was distracted so that the sugati could successfully destroy Tremor Base." Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:48, June 16, 2010 (UTC)
    • Better?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:27, June 16, 2010 (UTC)
      • Only half of this objection has been addressed. The following is never specifically explained in the BTS, just very vaguely alluded to: "He sacrificed himself in order to ensure that the Dark Lord was distracted so that the sugati could successfully destroy Tremor Base." Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:44, June 16, 2010 (UTC)
        • Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 22:13, June 16, 2010 (UTC)
          • You still have not satisfied this objection. I made a typo in my last comment, so allow me to amend it: The following is never specifically explained in the biography, just very vaguely alluded to in the P/T. Please spell this out explicitly for the reader in the biography: "He sacrificed himself in order to ensure that the Dark Lord was distracted so that the sugati could successfully destroy Tremor Base." Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:04, June 25, 2010 (UTC)
            • Does this work? …unaware that Hylon had sacrificed himself by distracting him in order to ensure that the sugati would be able to destroy Tremor Base.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:27, June 25, 2010 (UTC)
  • No link for the Ovoni language? Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:44, June 16, 2010 (UTC)
  • Thanks for the review, Tope. Sorry for any confusion.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 22:33, June 16, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 19:40, June 25, 2010 (UTC)