Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Hyena-class bomber

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Hyena-class bomber

  • Nominated by:-RC 1138 20:38, November 23, 2009 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Another droid starfighter

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)

Support

Object

  1. The Grand Master
    • The intro needs to be expanded; it should summarize the article's contents, and right now there is quite a bit of information missing.
    • Please source the Proton bombs in the infobox.
    • Remember, everything in these areas that is linkable should be linked once in the intro, once in the infobox, and once in the bio. Make sure that you don't have missing or multiple links.
    • More to come. Jonjedigrandmaster (Jedi Beacon) 02:41, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
  2. Preliminaries for now
    • Please make sure you're confident that the article adheres to all of the nomination rules at the top of this page before even considering nominating it, particularly the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and Sourcing policy. That last one means that {{Ref}} tags are only supposed to be used in the infobox and in templates, not the body of the article.
      • That includes thoroughly reading the Manual of Style, and please also double-check the last sentence that I just wrote. That's all I'm going to say for now, as you should be familiar enough with the MoS by now (if you've at least read through it once, which you should have) to know what I'm trying to refer to as far as formatting the Hyena name. CC7567 (talk) 05:29, December 1, 2009 (UTC)
    • I would particularly recommend rewatching "Liberty on Ryloth" and keeping track of what facts you take from it and what you assume and speculate in the article. "Hyena bombers generally operated in Squads of four to maximize damage and protection" is in no way attributable to the episode.
    • Conjecturally-titled battles cannot be referred to as such. If they have no canonical name, you cannot make one up for them in other articles.
    • Your History in general needs to be written much better in terms of context and paragraph size. You cannot assume that the reader is familiar with The Clone Wars series in any way, and the current level of detail is rather inaccurate; you need to detail the situations more.
      • This in particular is still in need of major work. CC7567 (talk) 17:19, November 30, 2009 (UTC)
        • I still see close to no change for this objection. You throw in several characters and other subjects and give no indication to who or what they are. You also need to get in much more detail, including what the bombers' objective was during every single one of those battles. By saying that the article needs to be "written much better in terms...of paragraph size", that means that you should decide on a set paragraph size and stick with it. CC7567 (talk) 05:29, December 1, 2009 (UTC)
    • Bypassing overall writing, the combination of Jonjedigrandmaster's objections and those from me make up the very basics of the standards for an article to pass or even be considered for the GAN. I would recommend working as much as you can on this over the next few days. CC7567 (talk) 05:14, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
    • Please note that just because its first chronological appearance was on Falleen, that in no way means it was its first usage. You're going to have to provide the source that explicitly states so. Furthermore, please note that both Jon and I are waiting for you to clarify that you've fixed these objections; otherwise, this nomination will expire from inactivity in due time. CC7567 (talk) 17:19, November 30, 2009 (UTC)
      • I believe that I have fixed it to your expectations.--RC 1138 20:58, November 30, 2009 (UTC)
    • Watch your linking and your capitalization. Articles are linked once in the infobox, once in the intro, and once in the body of the article. Also, just because you link various articles does not mean that they should automatically capitalized.
    • I've placed several {{Fact}} tags in the article for unsourced information. Please source them properly or remove them as speculation.
    • I would recommend getting your chronology straight. You place things just fine in the Appearances section but completely lack factual correctness in the History. Also, your Bts needs to outline the non-canonical storylines in which the bomber appears.
    • Please work on your grammar, which is, to put it nicely, inappropriate for even a GAN. The article itself is in need of major work simply to meet Rule 1 of the GAN rules of being "well-written." At the very least, you should run the article through a spelling and grammar check. While all of the ACs are available to you for help, you should not use Wookieepedia as an English school. Every user that is involved with this wiki is expected to have adequate grammar and spelling before even starting his or her writing career, as nothing will be able to be accomplished without the very basics of English. CC7567 (talk) 05:29, December 1, 2009 (UTC)

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