Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Honor duel on Hapes

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Honor duel on Hapes

  • Nominated by: - Princess GLG 01:49, March 22, 2013 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Only my second GAN, so there's probably plenty of mistakes. For WP:NOVELS.

(3 ACs/4 Users/7 Total)

Support

  1. Nice work. Supreme Emperor (talk) 20:40, March 26, 2013 (UTC)
  2. Good job handling the objections. DarthRevan1173 Revan Headshot (Long live Lord Revan) 01:25, April 17, 2013 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Assuming CC's satisfaction. Winterz (talk) 17:25, April 30, 2013 (UTC)
  4. ACvote CC7567 (talk) 20:42, May 5, 2013 (UTC)
  5. Commander Code-8 G'day, mate 06:15, May 13, 2013 (UTC)
  6. Nice work.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 20:19, May 13, 2013 (UTC)
  7. ACvote Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 11:23, May 14, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Ecks Dee
  • Before I give it a thorough review, please make sure something in the intro is bolded. 1358 (Talk) 01:06, March 24, 2013 (UTC)
  • As per Forum:CT:Links in in-article titles (and possibly other, newer CTs), linking in the bolded part is not allowed. Please remove the links and place them at a later place. 1358 (Talk) 21:00, March 25, 2013 (UTC)
Emperor
  • Can you add a little more context regarding what happened in the duel to the intro?
    • Better?
  • Some context about the Yuuzhan Vong war in the intro
    • Added.
  • Could you find a quote to put above the intro?
    • Added.
  • In the prelude could you add some context regarding the Yuuzhan Vong and the war?
    • Done.
  • Could you change the prelude quote to one of Thane insulting Leia?
    • Done.
  • Could some of the information in the skirmish section be moved to the prelude?
    • Done.
  • On that note, could you add a bit more info about the duel itself in the skirmish section?
    • Will get to this later.
  • In the aftermath, could you add a line about the Hapan fleet later being devastated at the battle of Fondor?
    • Done.
  • Nice work on the article, and congrats on your second GA nom. Supreme Emperor (talk) 01:35, March 24, 2013 (UTC)
  • Could you add a brief note in the outcome regarding how Thane agreed to support the New Republic in the vote? Supreme Emperor (talk) 03:20, March 25, 2013 (UTC)
    • I'm not sure what you mean by this. The aftermath section says that Thane did vote to support entering the war. - Princess GLG 11:56, March 25, 2013 (UTC)
      • Sorry, I meant in the outcome section of the infobox. Supreme Emperor (talk) 16:03, March 26, 2013 (UTC)
Revan
  • Article for the referee?
    • Created.
  • Please check you linking. I am seeing that you have missed a few. DarthRevan1173 Revan Headshot (Long live Lord Revan) 21:47, April 14, 2013 (UTC)
    • I have linked a few things I had missed. I can't find any more. - Princess GLG 02:11, April 15, 2013 (UTC)
      • I can still see that you missed a few.
        • I have gone through it again and can't find anymore. I'm probably just blind, but could you give me an example of one that I have missed?
          • The one's I see left is Invaders, Death and Hapan which should be linked to their proper articles.
            • I linked death and Hapan. There is not an article for invaders that I can see.
              • There's invasion which relates to them.
                • Oh...linked.
  • Context on Reef Fortress. DarthRevan1173 Revan Headshot (Long live Lord Revan) 03:02, April 15, 2013 (UTC)
  • Also when linking you should link to the articles the first time the subject is mentioned.
    • I'm not sure what I didn't link the first time, but I'll try to look it over again tomorrow to double-check.
      • Are you referring to my linking of referee? I did not link it the first time it was mentioned because that is just a referee, not the referee who I made an article for.
        • Yes however in the second paragraph you refer to that referee at the beginning and it should be linked there unless your referring to just a referee or another one. DarthRevan1173 Revan Headshot (Long live Lord Revan) 00:09, April 17, 2013 (UTC)
  • It might be wise to add the release date of the novel in the bts. DarthRevan1173 Revan Headshot (Long live Lord Revan) 21:56, April 15, 2013 (UTC)
  • Can you add a few images that relate to the duel.DarthRevan1173 Revan Headshot (Long live Lord Revan) 01:55, April 16, 2013 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone
  • In the intro, I think it would be appropriate to bold "honor duel" instead of just "duel," as it otherwise splits up the proper term. Also, would it be applicable to have the article at Honor duel on Hapes instead, since that's the full name for the event?
    • Fixed bold in intro. I moved to the article, but now I can't get the GAN template at the top to work. Not sure how to fix this? - Princess GLG 22:39, April 21, 2013 (UTC)
      • Nevermind, fixed it. - Princess GLG 22:40, April 21, 2013 (UTC)
  • Another preliminary before I jump into reviewing the full article: more context would be helpful in the intro. Some things to consider: the duel's specific location is absent from the intro, and Hapes and the Hapans don't get directly mentioned till the end of the intro. It isn't clear why Thane slapping Solo across the face caused Isolder to spark the duel. It also isn't clear what Isolder's and Thane's relationship is, political or otherwise. If you're trying to figure out what should be added to the intro and what shouldn't, my recommendation would be to read the intro as if you haven't read Jedi Eclipse at all. That's how intros should be written—presenting the most important elements of the story as a lead-in to the full article. It's a fine line because not every detail is necessary, but more detail can definitely be added in this case. I'll start working with you on specific parts once you've taken some time to expand the intro, and we can discuss what should stay, what should be added, and what should go after that. CC7567 (talk) 17:58, April 20, 2013 (UTC)
    • Better? - Princess GLG 12:03, April 22, 2013 (UTC)
      • Pretty good so far, but there's a general writing convention for intros that's worth noting (and also needs correcting here). The very first sentence of the intro needs to make mention of the article's specific subject (the honor duel, in this case), seeing as it is about that subject. That's how every intro should begin, regardless of whether it's an article about a person, place, event, etc. The bolding (honor duel) also seems to have disappeared. In addition, what does "song after" mean? CC7567 (talk) 22:57, April 23, 2013 (UTC)
        • How 'bout now? - Princess GLG 00:43, April 24, 2013 (UTC)
          • When making adjustments of any kind, make sure to always double-check linking. There are some links that need adjusting here, as there's currently some overlinking. CC7567 (talk) 01:10, April 24, 2013 (UTC)
            • Sorry, I should have checked that. - Princess GLG 01:42, April 24, 2013 (UTC)
  • Please check the fourth line of the Prelude quote; some punctuation is missing.
    • In the book there is an ellipsis between heritage and and because it goes into a description of what is happening before finishing Thane's sentence. I added the ellipsis, but if you think something else would be better I can change it.
      • Sorry, I meant Isolder's "Enough" line, which is not punctuated. CC7567 (talk) 02:03, April 29, 2013 (UTC)
        • Ah, there is no punctuation at the end of that line because Isolder is cut of by Thane before he can finish speaking. - Princess GLG 11:48, April 29, 2013 (UTC)
          • If that is the case, then an em dash should be used to reflect the cut-off. Em dashes can be added even when not used in the original text. CC7567 (talk) 23:52, April 29, 2013 (UTC)
            • Ok, so I checked it again, and I don't really think Isolder was interrupted. The book doesn't really saw and it's hard to tell, but I added a period. - Princess GLG 00:35, April 30, 2013 (UTC)
  • Unless there is reason for confusion, characters should generally be referred to by surnames instead of first names (Organa Solo instead of Leia) for formality.
    • Fixed.
  • I think a little more context can be provided on the honor duel itself in the Prelude. Was this how Hapans, by tradition, settled debates? It looks like moving the first paragraph of "The duel" to the Prelude section would suffice, as the information would be a better fit there, making the tradition clearer early on in the article.
    • Moved paragraph.
  • "Thane was to choose the weapon to be used in the duel": by both combatants? If so, this should be explicitly stated.
    • Fixed.
  • In the caption for "The duel" quote, proper context needs to be provided on C-3PO, as this is the only place he is mentioned in the article.
    • Added.
  • "making the decision of the Consortium to help the New Republic": this is a bit awkwardly worded. Could you reword to make it clearer?
    • Better?
  • Context needs to be provided for the Song of War and Coruscant in the Aftermath. Also, why were they going to Coruscant?
    • Added. - Princess GLG 01:18, April 29, 2013 (UTC)
      • Everything looks fixed aside from the specific context on Coruscant. Identifying it as the "galactic capital" or the "New Republic capital" would suffice. CC7567 (talk) 02:03, April 29, 2013 (UTC)
  • I'll take another look at the article once these have been addressed. CC7567 (talk) 23:08, April 28, 2013 (UTC)
Revan again
  • I know I've already added my vote however I just noticed something that's completely overlooked in the article and needs to be added. Thane didn't just insult Leia he also insulted Isolder's daughter Tenel Ka, that should be added. DarthRevan1173 Revan Headshot (Long live Lord Revan) 02:17, April 24, 2013 (UTC)
  • I see you have linked the Battle of Fondor to the wrong article please link to the correct article. DarthRevan1173 Revan Headshot (Long live Lord Revan) 01:40, April 29, 2013 (UTC)
Attack II
  • I think a bit more context regarding the operation of the Consortium's voting system can be provided, either in the Prelude or the Aftermath. It seems like every Hapan planet gets one vote, but if that's correct, it would be helpful to the reader to directly state that. (Did Vergill and Hapes have an equal voice in terms of votes?)
    • The book doesn't really say how the vote works. It is implied that each planet gets an equal vote in several different ways, one of which is by stating that if Thane had his way the vote would have been reversed, 31 in favor to 32 opposed. Should I add that each planet has one vote, even though it isn't explicitly stated?
      • Yeah, I think it would be prudent to assume that, given the info that you just stated. CC7567 (talk) 18:20, May 3, 2013 (UTC)
  • Is it necessary to note in the Bts that Jedi Eclipse didn't provide an official name for the duel? I don't think any event of this nature would be named, and while I'm sure there are exceptions, stating that it doesn't have an official name doesn't seem to be necessary. See what you think. CC7567 (talk) 19:31, April 30, 2013 (UTC)
    • Removed info. - Princess GLG 21:13, April 30, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 11:23, May 14, 2013 (UTC)