Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Harro Kelpura

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Harro Kelpura

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. grunny@wookieepedia:~$ 17:02, June 26, 2018 (UTC)
  2. ACvote Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:47, June 30, 2018 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 03:58, July 29, 2018 (UTC)
  4. Nice work --Lewisr (talk) 16:20, July 29, 2018 (UTC)
  5. ACvote 1358 (Talk) 18:32, July 29, 2018 (UTC)

Object

Ayrehead
Grunny
  • From reading the intro quote, I believe the first speaker is Kungurama, not Kelpura, is that right? If so, the order they are listed in the attribution should match the order in which they speak in the quote for clarity, so Kungurama should be mentioned first in the attribution for the quote. grunny@wookieepedia:~$ 17:08, June 11, 2018 (UTC)
  • In the opening sentence, the "and investigated an alien escape pod" feels like a bit of an awkward addition, and I think it would be better split into its own sentence, maybe with the time period, i.e. finish the first sentence after "Coruscant" and follow it with something like "During the Clone Wars, he was tasked with investigating an alien escaped pod." What do you think? grunny@wookieepedia:~$ 16:58, June 22, 2018 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • This sentence is in need of additional context. Like...he investigated an alien escape pod that crashed-landed on Coruscant, for example? Where is this escape pod/what is it doing that he's investigating it? "In the midst of the war, he investigated an alien escape pod..." Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 10:37, July 2, 2018 (UTC)
  • In reference 2, this statement is not self-sourcing: "The battle takes place just prior to the Star Wars: The Clone Wars: Secret Missions series, including Secret Missions 4: Guardians of the Chiss Key." That needs to be attributed to something. It should say something like "According to [source], the battle takes place just prior..."
  • You really don't need reference 3. If the book says he was discovered eleven years prior to its events, then that doesn't need a special reference. You only need a special reference if you're explicitly mentioning the 33 BBY date, but since it's being pipelinked, it doesn't need one. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 13:15, July 3, 2018 (UTC)
  • Why is the fact that Kungurama leading the clone unit Breakout Squad relevant to Kelpura's role in the story? This seems like extraneous detail. "Kungurama, now leading the clone trooper unit Breakout Squad..."
  • Why is Palpatine here, and why is Kit Fisto suggesting they go to the Senate Building? None of these details are provided any relevance or significance to the story and Kelpura's role in it. We're left wondering what was the point of their involvement, since they're never mentioned again. "...met Kelpura at the Senate Building with Supreme Chancellor Palpatine and departed for the Jedi Temple on Master Kit Fisto's suggestion."
  • Kelpura was traveling with the group by freighter? It would have been nice to know this upfront rather than dropping this detail in as an afterthought at the end of the paragraph. "Kungurama's freighter crashed after the dropship belonging to a bounty hunter assisting Ambase impacted it." Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 16:20, July 3, 2018 (UTC)
  • The term "Jedi scholar" redirects to the article "Lore Keeper"; would it be appropriate to pipelink this into the article for this character? Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:55, July 23, 2018 (UTC)
    • Sure, its fair to say he has some official capacity. Corellian PremierJedi symbolThe Force will be with you always 02:59, July 29, 2018 (UTC)
      • In that case, I've added the Lore Keepers category as well. It may be a good idea to further divide that category to separate actual Lore Keepers from general scholars like Kelpura, but this will suffice for now. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 03:58, July 29, 2018 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 18:32, July 29, 2018 (UTC)