- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Contents
Hanna Ding
- Nominated by: ToRsO bOy (talk) 17:24, 1 March 2023 (UTC)
- Nomination comments:
- Date Archived: 00:05, 25 July 2023 (UTC)
- Final word count: 732 words (120 introduction, 594 body, 18 behind the scenes)
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:Novels
(4 ACs/2 Users/6 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 04:52, 29 June 2023 (UTC)Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 10:09, 22 July 2023 (UTC)
—spookywillowwtalk 14:00, 22 July 2023 (UTC)
Lewisr (talk) 15:23, 22 July 2023 (UTC)- Panther436 (talk) 18:36, 22 July 2023 (UTC)
Master Fredcerique(talk) (he/him) 00:05, 25 July 2023 (UTC)
Object
spookly
Pronouns update/re-check gender under the new rules.Would like to see a slight intro expansion: adding 2-3 sentences would allow it to be split into two short paragraphs.The birth date note for Ding should explicitly include 34 BBY in the ref.- Added.
Infobox referencing should match the body's referencing, whichever way works best to make them both consistent.The first sentence of "Jedi Training" probably can't be sourced to the birth date note."…and later graduated to become a Padawan to a Jedi Master." —Ding's Master should have a page, then have it reflected in the infobox as well.- I'm glad you brought this up. Hanna being a Padawan is only mentioned in the CUSWE and never in the novel. Given CUSWE's numerous errors in this novel, I wasn't sure if this was enough to warrant an article for her master? ToRsO bOy (talk) 11:25, 20 April 2023 (UTC)
- Should be, yeah; a page would be short but still notable.—spookywillowwtalk 20:48, 24 April 2023 (UTC)
- I'm glad you brought this up. Hanna being a Padawan is only mentioned in the CUSWE and never in the novel. Given CUSWE's numerous errors in this novel, I wasn't sure if this was enough to warrant an article for her master? ToRsO bOy (talk) 11:25, 20 April 2023 (UTC)
Would like to see date included for the eruption of the Clone Wars.Thoughts on making "The Apprentice Tournament"'s first image a bit bigger?"However, Enwandung-Esterhazy had meticulously studied Ding's previous fights in the past six weeks, and was able to anticipate the move and deflect it."—this seems as if it should have a short mention somewhere prior to the beginning of the tournament itself, since she did begin studying prior to the event itself, for chronology's sakes.Does "Combat Training Chamber" need a page to then be linked to in the body, since it's capitalized in a quote caption?For the fight between the two girls, taking out a little of the play-by-play would be good: though detail is great, it reads as if it's rewording the novel almost, I'd say.Per the P+T's quote, the fight's aftermath should be documented, at least marginally. Noting that Lena had said something about Hanna would mean that Lena could be linked to, thus avoiding having to link the quote caption, which is always optimal.Unsure where you'd like to put the one sentence, but for the P+T, there's a solo sentence. Usually better to not have one-sentence paragraphs when possible.… for Equipment for the "..."Image captions should only have punctuation if made full sentences.Make a sweep for missing links if you would; I can copy-edit in anything missing afterward.—spookywillowwtalk 20:35, 13 April 2023 (UTC)Is the 'Aftermath' subsectioning necessary? With a slight bit of sentence shuffling I think it'd all fit under 'The Apprentice Tournament', and it does look a bit awkward with it only having one paragraph.—spookywillowwtalk 17:30, 29 June 2023 (UTC)- Do you mean moving it up as an entire paragraph, or reducing it to fit within the last paragraph of "The Apprentice Tournament"? JMM had one objection about the number of paragraphs per section. ToRsO bOy (talk) 11:26, 10 July 2023 (UTC)
- Tucking it on the end of the last paragraph of "The Apprentice Tournament," (and if necessary, taking the top few sentences of the last paragraph in that sentence and moving them to the middle paragraph to even out how long each one is). I do see his—I don't think they conflict, though. General precedent where possible avoids 1-paragraph subsections when the content allows for it.—spookywillowwtalk 13:21, 10 July 2023 (UTC)
- Do you mean moving it up as an entire paragraph, or reducing it to fit within the last paragraph of "The Apprentice Tournament"? JMM had one objection about the number of paragraphs per section. ToRsO bOy (talk) 11:26, 10 July 2023 (UTC)
Macaroni
Can you rework the sectioning so that it's not 1 and 4 paragraphs each?JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 19:22, 18 May 2023 (UTC)- I've added another section and moved one of the paragraphs. Was that what you meant? ToRsO bOy (talk) 06:26, 20 May 2023 (UTC)
- With 5 paragraphs you'd ideally have one section of 2 and another of 3, though I'm not sure if that's doable on this article. What do you think? JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 23:46, 28 May 2023 (UTC)
- I've added another section and moved one of the paragraphs. Was that what you meant? ToRsO bOy (talk) 06:26, 20 May 2023 (UTC)
Can you tell me where the book says this? "she underwent extensive training in the ways of the Force"JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:41, 11 June 2023 (UTC)- Not in those exact words. I thought it was a good way to describe the rigorous training all Jedi undergo at the temple. Too much? ToRsO bOy (talk) 14:52, 22 June 2023 (UTC)
- Yeah, I think we should avoid making those kinds of statements unless they're supported by the source. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 23:04, 22 June 2023 (UTC)
- Not in those exact words. I thought it was a good way to describe the rigorous training all Jedi undergo at the temple. Too much? ToRsO bOy (talk) 14:52, 22 June 2023 (UTC)
Fred strikes back
Can we get a word or two of context for the trials in the intro?Wouldn't it be better to say she was born "around 33 BBY" instead of 34? 14+19=33.Master Fredcerique(talk) (he/him) 22:39, 8 July 2023 (UTC)
Anil
I'm a little confused about "grabbing lightsaber blades with hand." Are these training lightsabers? If so, could you please clarify that in the article?Does Yoda: Dark Rendezvous explicitly say that Ding's saber had a green crystal or establish that all lightsabers have crystals that give the blade their color? If not, I think it'd be better to just say that Ding's weapon emitted a green blade.Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 02:48, 15 July 2023 (UTC)
- (Reviewing note) Per the Manual of Style, when pipelinking, all characters should be placed inside the link brackets. e.g. [[Training lightsaber/Legends|training lightsabers]] instead of [[Training lightsaber/Legends|training lightsaber]]s
Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 10:09, 22 July 2023 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 00:05, 25 July 2023 (UTC)