Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Greeta Holda

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Greeta Holda

(+5)

Support

  1. Goodwood Redstarbird (Alliance Intelligence) 04:43, 26 April 2008 (UTC)
  2. supergeeky1 \m/ The Cantina 23:17, 30 April 2008 (UTC)
  3. Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:05, 1 May 2008 (UTC)
  4. Cull Tremayne 14:33, 5 May 2008 (UTC)
  5. Greyman Jan.png (Talk) 02:07, 6 May 2008 (UTC)

Object

  1. Toprawa:
    • Brief descriptor for Revan, please: "When Revan needed to establish a truce"
      • Gotcha.
    • Same: "When Griff Vao was rescued"
      • Gotcha.
    • I have no idea what an Exchange contact or a tach gland is here. Please explain: "so that an Exchange contact could begin synthesizing the beverage, he needed a tach gland."
      • Whoops. Should have defined what the Exchange was. Got it.
    • Additionally, this sentence doesn't work as is. If you're going to use the colon, you need to explain what the deal is in this sentence, rather than breaking it up into several sentences as you have it: "Griff then offered Revan a deal: in order to create a batch of Tarisian ale so that an Exchange contact could begin synthesizing the beverage, he needed a tach gland."
      • Pretty much rewrote that.
    • This sentence also has a few problems. First, it's incomplete. Second, you begin the sentence as a dangling modifier, without qualifying it by saying who is promising to pay the Jedi. Also, please add a bit after "whose only source" to say of what. Ex: "...whose only source for the gland after....". "Promising to pay the Jedi handsomely if he provided the gland, whose only source after the bombing of Taris was the Wookiee homeworld of Kashyyyk."
      • Ditto.
    • Honestly, I would say just start from scratch and rewrite this paragraph again. It's pretty disjointed and kind of confusing to someone like myself, who has never played the game and doesn't know what's going on. I'm kind of lost.
      • Pretty much did that.
    • More traditional BTS information, please. First appearance. You know the drill.
      • Yeah, that was my bad.
    • Please provide greater context to explain what this is. It's dropped in as though the reader knows what you're talking about: "installing them on the bike left aboard the Ebon Hawk after its theft from Davik Kang" Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:14, 27 April 2008 (UTC)

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