Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Gold Six (clone trooper)/Legends

< Wookieepedia:Good article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Gold Six (clone trooper)

  • Nominated by: 1358 (Talk) 18:01, September 23, 2010 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Let's see what happens.

(4 ACs/2 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. Good job.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 06:44, September 24, 2010 (UTC)
  2. ACvote Reviewed on IRC. Cylka-talk- 22:16, September 24, 2010 (UTC)
  3. --Gmalek (The ability to edit does not make you intelligent) 15:40, October 8, 2010 (UTC)
  4. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:21, October 19, 2010 (UTC)
  5. ACvote JangFett (Talk) 21:05, October 19, 2010 (UTC)
  6. ACvote Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 08:13, October 20, 2010 (UTC)

Object

Jango
  • "Under the command of Jedi General Anakin Skywalker, Gold Squadron departed from the Star Destroyer Resolute in order to stop a fleet of Munificent-class star frigates under the command of the Confederate General Grievous ." Run-on; please shorten this sentence, Xd.
    • Did that help? 1358 (Talk) 13:35, September 24, 2010 (UTC)
      • I adjusted the intro a bit.
  • "Taking casualties from the frigates' laser fire, Gold Squadron retreated, while Skywalker continued toward the approaching ships." Why did they retreat/was Gold Six involved?
    • Probably because they took casualties. Skywalker orders them to take evasive actions, and then one random clone tells the squadron to break off and suddenly they are gone. And we don't know where Gold Six is; if he has died or something like that.
      • Took care of this when I fixed the intro.
  • Fact tag in bio
    • Considering Wild Space gives the date, I don't see a reason for a fact tag. 1358 (Talk) 13:35, September 24, 2010 (UTC)
      • I apologize for not seeing this eariler. I adjusted the sourcing a bit.
  • "the Galactic Republic learned that the Confederate General Grievous planned to invade the planet Bothawui, the homeworld of a species vital to Republic intelligence because of their adept information-collecting abilities." For factual reasons, you could source this to Wild Space instead of the episode. It's up to you, but it's a better fit.
    • It is sourced to Wild Space at the moment. 1358 (Talk) 13:35, September 24, 2010 (UTC)
      • I don't think it was before, though good enough. :P
  • Xd, your comma usage is not good. I recommend that you thoroughly give your articles a copy-edit prior to nomination. A second look won't be any much of a problem. :P
    • I'll be sure to do that in the future. Working on the comma stuff. 1358 (Talk) 13:35, September 24, 2010 (UTC)
      • This was a formal objection, Xd. Please go back and correct any punctuation mistakes that you see. Currently, I see a few.
  • "Jedi General Anakin Skywalker, along with his Padawan Ahsoka Tano as well as Clone Captain CC-7567 were sent to protect Bothawui." Notice anything wrong with this sentence?
    • Does it look better? 1358 (Talk) 13:35, September 24, 2010 (UTC)
      • Not quite. Right now, it doesn't read right.
  • "Although the Republic battle group led by Skywalker was outnumbered, the Jedi General had decided to prevent the Confederate invasion and placed several All Terrain Tactical Enforcers led by CC-7567 on asteroids in the asteroid belt above Bothawui." Okay, couple of things here. One, punctuation problem in the first clause. Next, you say he wanted to prevent the invasion, the second clause doesn't quite fit the meaning you're trying to show. You mean he's preventing it by placing those AT-TEs on the asteroids?
    • Split up. Better? 1358 (Talk) 13:35, September 24, 2010 (UTC)
      • I see a comma mistake in the first sentence you separated. (so, that still remains) In the next, I see another mistake that could be easily fixed. It's right by "Led by CC-7567".
  • Much of the text reads like a short battle summary of the Battle of Bothawui. Could you mention Gold Six, as he is the subject of your article?
    • Well, I mention him quite a bit, I think. And we don't know whether he participated in the retreat, so I think it's speculation to mention him there too. 1358 (Talk) 13:35, September 24, 2010 (UTC)
      • Actually, I hardly read a mention of him. I went back and added "Gold Six and Gold Squadron" to certain sentences.
  • I'm going to give it another look through after you finish with these. I highly recommend that you read through the article yourself and correct any grammatical mistakes. JangFett (Talk) 07:50, September 24, 2010 (UTC)
    • Thanks for this review, Jang. However, I'd like to ask a thing: why did you remove the databank stuff from the bio? 1358 (Talk) 13:35, September 24, 2010 (UTC)
      • That's not any relevant information. :P JangFett (Talk) 03:02, September 25, 2010 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • The intro explains that Gold Six and the squadron were used to draw Grievous's attention away from the AT-TEs in the asteroid belt, but the bio itself makes no mention of this. Please add this in.
    • Hopefully fixed. 1358 (Talk) 04:39, October 19, 2010 (UTC)
  • Also, I'm not going to mince words here. The article's linking was poor at best. Please pay closer attention to this next time. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:26, October 18, 2010 (UTC)
    • Apologies for that. I'll make sure to do a better job in the future. 1358 (Talk) 04:39, October 19, 2010 (UTC)
Cav
  • Should the reference to 22 BBY now be 21 BBY considering the new information from the SW 2011 annual? - Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 12:07, October 19, 2010 (UTC)
    • You're right; fixed. 1358 (Talk) 12:29, October 19, 2010 (UTC)
      • The Battle of Bothawui took placed in 21 BBY, not around. Per Stealth and the Annual. I'm not sure if you read those Gambit books yet, Xd. :P JangFett (Talk) 21:07, October 19, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 08:13, October 20, 2010 (UTC)