Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Galdos Stouff/Legends

< Wookieepedia:Good article nominations | Galdos Stouff
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Galdos Stouff

(5 ACs/0 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. Inqvote JangFett (Talk) 19:16, March 25, 2014 (UTC)
  2. ACvote 1358 (Talk) 14:33, April 10, 2014 (UTC)
  3. ACvote IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 04:42, April 16, 2014 (UTC)
  4. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 05:16, April 16, 2014 (UTC)
  5. ACvote CC7567 (talk) 14:34, April 17, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Jangston
  • Before I even begin my review, Lee, please take of the redirects. JangFett (Talk) 02:16, March 23, 2014 (UTC)
    • Found and killed two. Clone Commander Lee Talk 12:16, March 23, 2014 (UTC)
      • For future reference—and this goes for all Star Wars films—it's not Star Wars: Episode II: Attack of the Clones it's Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (notice the first colon is removed). Try to be more careful. JangFett (Talk) 23:57, March 23, 2014 (UTC)
  • Reload your infobox.
  • Try not to extrapolate information. In the Inside sourcebook, Stouff is only mentioned alongside Bulq and that's it. Where does it say he served under the Galactic Republic? You currently have this information sourced to the Inside sourcebook. I'd suggest that you either remove or find a more appropriate source for Galactic Republic.
  • "Galdos Stouff was a male Padawan serving the Jedi Order and the Galactic Republic in the decade leading up to the Clone Wars" Since he fought in the first battle of the Clone Wars, I wouldn't word it by saying he served the Jedi Order leading up to the Clone Wars, when he actually did. Also, check your grammar.
  • Even if his species is not confirmed, you could still make note that he was a sentient in the intro and bio somewhere.
  • If you're going to call Mace Windu the Master of the Order in the intro, then I'd suggest that you do the same in the bio, only properly source it there. Remove some of the excess context as well.
  • Windu did not go to Geonosis to help all three, just Obi-Wan. Mace Windu wanted Anakin to stay on Tatooine, but the latter decided to follow Padme's orders instead. You're going to have to fix this continuity error in both the intro and bio.
    • Addressed. Clone Commander Lee Talk 00:18, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
      • "when Kenobi was about to be executed on the planet Geonosis" This part of the sentence needs tweaking. Because you haven't mentioned Geonosis or why they were going to Geonosis in the first place, I think you should create a whole separate sentence dedicated to introducing why they were going to Geonosis. In terms of chronological order, it should go before Mace's decision to rescue Obi-Wan: "Jedi Knight Obi-Wan was captured by CIS forces after he tracked a bounty hunter to the planet" or something. Yes, the article is about Stouff, but this will clear up any confusion or outstanding questions. JangFett (Talk) 17:12, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
  • "A Force-sensitive male, Galdos Stouff was trained in the ways of the Force by the Jedi Order during the waning years of the Galactic Republic." Where exactly is this in the Inside sourcebook?
    • It is stated that he is a Padawan in the Jedi Order. Therefore, IMHO it is stated in the sourcebook. Clone Commander Lee Talk 00:18, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
      • No, it does not, Lee. It doesn't mention anything about his training, nor his "youngling years," as implied in the article. What's sourceable is his apprenticeship to Bulq. JangFett (Talk) 17:12, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
        • The only thing I imply is that Stouff was trained by the Jedi Order. The source book says he is a Padawan, and Padawans are trained by the order. There is no link to Jedi Iniate at all. I'm open for suggestions, but I will not remove this sentence. Clone Commander Lee Talk 17:30, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
          • I'm not asking you to remove the sentence; I'm asking you to fix your sourcing. I suggest that you find a way to merge "A Force-sensitive male sentient, Galdos Stouff was trained in the ways of the Force by the Jedi Order during the waning years of the Galactic Republic. The Weequay Jedi Master Sora Bulq, a gifted swordsman and fighting instructor, selected Stouff to be his Padawan." and remove "was trained in the ways of the Force by the Jedi Order". You can then source the newly constructed sentence to the Inside guide, only if you don't extrapolate info. JangFett (Talk) 17:41, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
            • Please try it now, although I feel like his affiliation to the Jedi Order is missing now. Clone Commander Lee Talk 18:00, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
              • Well, technically saying Jedi Padawan is implying he's in the Jedi Order. If you wish, you could readd it, but you'll have to source it to an appropriate source. Also, male is currently sourced to the Inside guide, yet in the bio, you have it sourced to the databank. JangFett (Talk) 18:14, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
  • Obi-Wan wasn't a Jedi Master in AOTC; please correct this. I would do this myself, but you should know by now to watch out for these simple mistakes.
    • Oh, shucks, the old Jedi with apprentice is not a Master, albeit he is called "Master". Addressed. Clone Commander Lee Talk 00:10, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
  • Bio- The last sentence of the first paragraph and the first few sentences of the subsequent paragraph makes it seem like Stouff and Bulq only infiltrated the arena and fought the droids. This is not correct, of course, so please see what you could do to correct this.
  • Bio- Executed by whom?
    • Added. Clone Commander Lee Talk 00:18, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
      • Still remains, although this will no doubt be fixed once you take care of the objection relating to Obi-Wan's capture. JangFett (Talk) 17:16, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
  • "Bulq and Stouff defeated a dozen encircling guards" Please do not copy the source verbatim. Paraphrase this specific part of the sentence which is a direct copy from the source.
  • "but the Jedi casualties began to mount and Stouff was killed." This part of the sentence does not fully relate to the first part of the sentence. You're going to have to mention that the droids began to kill the Jedi before mentioning Stouff's death.
  • Try to mention the CIS earlier. I feel that you need to establish where the droids came from and their allegiance.
    • Better? Clone Commander Lee Talk 00:10, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
      • He wasn't captured by the CIS, but rather Geonosians who work for Dooku. Please rewatch AOTC. JangFett (Talk) 00:15, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
        • I know the movie and the last thing we see before him being in the cell is that he fought against a droideka. Plus, the Geonosians are a part of the CIS, aren't they? Clone Commander Lee Talk 00:22, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
  • P&T- Is he Force-attuned or Force-sensitive? If the latter, I wouldn't mention "attuned" since it would create confusion for the readers. Also, if he is indeed Force attuned, then please change the previous mentionings of Force sensitive.
  • That's it for now. This article needs more work, Lee, so please take your time while handling these objections. JangFett (Talk) 23:57, March 23, 2014 (UTC)
  • We know the number of Jedi sent to Geonosis, so you don't have to say "large strike team" in the bio. Check the intro too. JangFett (Talk) 17:12, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
    • Added 200 too the bio, but I'll believe "strike team" alone is enough for the intro. Clone Commander Lee Talk 17:56, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
  • Before I vote, I have one last thing: Where in the Insider guide does it say he's a male? I'm having trouble finding it. After that, where does it say he's a Force sensitive. Check these two and we're good to go. JangFett (Talk) 18:29, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
    • Is there no gender specified in the English version of the sourcebook? The German one calls him "Schüler" (a male pupil). If this is not the case in the English version, then only the ending would suggest a male personality, but we can't be sure on that one. As a Jedi, you have to be Force-sensitive. This is one of the things that is not outright stated, but one of the few things I would take for granted. Clone Commander Lee Talk 18:35, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
    • Another thing: Why did you remove the P&a section? The fact that a well-known swordmaster chose him as his apprentice tells us something about his skills and so does the fact that he was killed fighting on Geonosis. In the current version, the P&t does none of that. Clone Commander Lee Talk 18:39, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
      • Do you have any information that could warrant a P&A? Something about his known abilities? At the moment, I see nothing and you incorrectly used a P&A. Stuff like that could fit in a P&T more. You may put the information back in, but its wording made it pretty redundant. We know nothing of his looks as well, so information is scarce. JangFett (Talk) 18:58, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
      • I still believe that the points I had in the P&a belong there, but my believes are irrelevant. I removed all mentions of his gender and I hope you agree with my point regarding the Force-sensitivity. However, I also killed the mention about him being killed by battle droids, as Geonosians or even a falling stone could have killed him. For me that is speculation and not something minor stuff on his skills, training or even Force-sensitivity. Please let me know if that addresses your objections. Clone Commander Lee Talk 21:06, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
        • Saying "enemies" makes it lean toward the Republic's POV. In order to be neutral, adversary might work better. However, don't take my advice to heart; try out different words. JangFett (Talk) 19:01, March 25, 2014 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone
  • I'd like to see a Bts note regarding the fact that the character's gender and species have not been specified in any source material. CC7567 (talk) 15:51, April 16, 2014 (UTC)
Ecks
  • Apologies for the post-vote objection, but you have him categorized as a male, while your above comment indicates that his gender has not been specified. 1358 (Talk) 18:05, April 16, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 11:15, April 26, 2014 (UTC)