Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Gaarn

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Gaarn

  • Nominated by: Clone Commander Lee Talk 14:39, May 7, 2011 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Ill-fated admiral. Not a barn-burner.

(4 ACs/1 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. ACvote Kilson(Let's have a chat) 04:36, May 10, 2011 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote --Eyrezer 23:13, May 13, 2011 (UTC)
  3. JangFett (Talk) 05:06, May 24, 2011 (UTC)
  4. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:46, May 26, 2011 (UTC)
  5. ACvote Grunny (talk) 16:16, May 28, 2011 (UTC)

Object

Kilson
  • In the intro, you explain that the Eclipse was a Star Dreadnaught, but you don't in the Bio. Please fix this.
    • Fixed.
  • "the crime lord Tyber Zann attacked the Imperial shipyards above Kuat to capture the warship Eclipse." It would be better if you mentioned the Zann Consortium in this sentence rather than mentioning it later in the Bio.
    • Fixed.
  • "Gaarn, along with his flagship, the Executor-class Star Dreadnought Annihilator and three Imperial-class Star Destroyers led a small fleet to assist the struggling Imperial forces over Kuat." The way you phrase this sentence, it makes it sound like the Gaarn led the three Star Destroyer and and small fleet, which isn't correct.
    • Fixed.
  • Otherwise looks good. Kilson(Let's have a chat) 16:55, May 8, 2011 (UTC)
Toprawa
Jang
  • "2006 LucasArts real-time strategy video game expansion Star Wars: Empire at War: Forces of Corruption. The only mention of Admiral Gaarn is contained within a single information box detailing his ship, which the player may access by placing their cursor above the Annihilator in-game." Lee, this is pretty much taken from the Annihilator article. Compare that sentence from the Gaarn article to this from the Annihilator: "2006 LucasArts real-time strategy video game expansion Star Wars: Empire at War: Forces of Corruption.[...]The only mentions of the Annihilator's name and Admiral Gaarn are contained within a single information box detailing the ship, which the player may access by placing their cursor above the Annihilator in-game." Whether this is deliberate or not, you can definitely tell there was some copy/pasting going on. If that is the case, Lee you have been warned about this so many times before. Do not copy/paste others' work and put it in other articles. JangFett (Talk) 01:24, May 16, 2011 (UTC)
    • Reworded. Clone Commander Lee Talk 18:04, May 16, 2011 (UTC)
      • Video game expansion for what? What infobox? You can give the sentence proper context without having to copy/paste information from different articles.
        • Should be ebtter now. Clone Commander Lee Talk 17:40, May 19, 2011 (UTC)
          • Still remains. You can give proper context without having to copy/paste information from different articles.
  • I don't know why you decided to include a P&T section when there's absolutely nothing about Gaarn's character. At the moment, the P&T seems like redundant fluff. JangFett (Talk) 20:04, May 18, 2011 (UTC)
    • Actually, all info describes his P&T. He possessed the skills to become an admiral, but was nonetheless defeated and therefore not as good as tactican as Zann. Clone Commander Lee Talk 17:40, May 19, 2011 (UTC)
      • Granted the infobox said he was an admiral; however, we specifically don't know anything about his character. JangFett (Talk) 04:33, May 21, 2011 (UTC)
        • REmoved. Clone Commander Lee Talk 17:48, May 23, 2011 (UTC)
          • I hope you understand what I mean, Lee. We also don't know how he became an admiral as well. He could have won the position via raffle or being good friends with another admiral who offered him a position. We don't know. :P Unless a source states how he became an admiral, we cannot assume that "he had enough skill to become an admiral." JangFett (Talk) 05:05, May 24, 2011 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • I've reworded the first sentence in the second bio paragraph as part of my copy-edit to more closely reflect the actual proceedings of the game for clarification. However, this second sentence doesn't really make sense, considering the Eclipse has already fallen into enemy hands. IIRC, by this point the Consortium forces are working on getting the Eclipse's engines working so they can escape with the ship, but something goes wrong and they have to leave it. I don't remember what happens exactly, but this sentence, and indeed the rest of this paragraph, would really benefit from a complete rewrite explaining all of this. The article needs to explain that Zann captured the Eclipse and the Imperials tried to destroy it rather than allowing them to escape with the ship. And then give some brief clarification on why Zann has to abandon the Eclipse before going into detail about him accessing its data vaults. Otherwise the story is just not being told effectively enough: "The Annihilator focused on destroying the massive warship before it fell into enemy hands."
    • I hope that a the simple change I made makes it fine for to you.
  • I would also like to see the BTS expand on the specific role he plays in the game, mentioning that he is included in the game's final level, etc. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:44, May 24, 2011 (UTC)
  • I have one more objection after reading through the BTS again. The BTS reads quite literally that the character does not appear in the game but instead is mentioned, yet the Appearances list is treating this as an actual appearance. Should this not be changed to a (First mentioned)? Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:08, May 27, 2011 (UTC)
    • Just as a bit of advice, if we know that a person is inside a ship, but only the ship appears, then we would label it as a {{C|Indirect appearance only}}. Kilson(Let's have a chat) 19:16, May 27, 2011 (UTC)
Grunny
  • You don't specify Gaarn's gender in the infobox (or specifically in the body), yet you refer to Gaarn using "his", and "himself." Is Gaarn's gender specified? If not, I'd avoid gender-specific language. Grunny (talk) 06:07, May 27, 2011 (UTC)
    • The gender is not known. Therefore I removed all issues of gender-specific language. Thank you. Clone Commander Lee Talk 18:30, May 27, 2011 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 17:21, May 31, 2011 (UTC)