Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Francis

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Francis the pink Wookiee

  • Nominated by:Kilson Likes PIE 01:58, 29 April 09 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:Yeah, a pink Wookiee, do I have to say anything else.

(3 ACs/5 Users/8 Total)

Support

  1. Good job. Jonjedigrandmaster (Jedi beacon) 22:54, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
  2. ACvote Cute. Nice to see an article for an Easter-egg-type character that isn't full of fanon for a change. Graestan(Talk) 06:30, 1 May 2009 (UTC)
  3. CC7567 (talk) 06:38, 1 May 2009 (UTC)
  4. SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is a lie) 11:52, 1 May 2009 (UTC)
  5. ACvote Chack Jadson (Talk) 18:37, 1 May 2009 (UTC)
  6. ACvote Cylka-talk- 03:26, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
  7. Noice. IFYLOFD (You will pay the price for your lack of vision!) 19:58, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
  8. What's next?Purple Wampas or striped Twi'leks? QuiGonJinnThere's always a bigger fish. 11:06, 6 May 2009 (UTC)

Object

  1. The Grand Master Speaks
    • "During his time in the rebellion", should be worded more clearly, such as "during his time fighting in the rebellion", or something along those lines. Not a big deal—it could just be a little smoother.
      • I changed it to tenure because I had already used fought in the same sentence, and it might sound awkward to put fighting in there.
    • "Francis, a male Wookiee bounty hunter, joined Renegade Squadron during the Galactic Civil War, the war between the Galactic Empire and the Alliance to Restore the Republic, sometime between 0 BBY and 4 ABY." This is long and dragging; reword it or break it up with dashes so it can flow better.
    • There are multiple times throught the article where you use the phrase; the Alliances'. The possessive of "Alliance" is Alliance's, not Alliances'. Be sure to fix these.
    • "He was given the nickname" "He" should be changed to "Francis" to avoid confusion, as you were just talking about two other "he"s.
    • Why Renegade squadron was disbanded could use a little context.
    • Is anything known about what happened to Francis after the squadron was disbanded?
      • Sorry, no.
    • "During his tenure with Renegade Squadron, Francis used a DL-44 heavy blaster pistol to fight with." This is awkward and bad grammar. "Fight with" should be removed or reworded.
    • Is it known exactly what type of X-wing Francis flew? If so, include the type.
    • "Francis can be a playable character" "Playable character" is a little awkward, try to use a word other than "playable" there, or reword part of the section.
    • "Francis the pink Wookiee was imagined up by Jeff Pena," Same thing here with "imagined up". In this case, a word along the lines of "created" would be preferred.
    • Not bad for an article about a pink Wookiee. Jonjedigrandmaster (Jedi beacon) 21:35, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
      • OK, I addressed your objection, thanks for the review. Kilson Likes PIE 22:39, 29 April 09 (UTC)
  2. Attack of the Clone
    • In both the intro and the body, why, specifically, was Renegade Squadron new?
      • I got a bit in the intro in, but what else were you looking for? Graestan(Talk) 06:30, 1 May 2009 (UTC)
        • It sounded like mentioning "new" just on passing wasn't really appropriate; perhaps "recently created" or something of the like. I wasn't really asking for more context, just to clarify. CC7567 (talk) 06:34, 1 May 2009 (UTC)
    • "During" is used twice in the intro; please use word variety.
    • "In the video game Star Wars Battlefront: Renegade Squadron, Francis can be a playable character through the game's character personalization feature." Please change "can be"; it's rather unclear.
      • Tell me how it looks. Graestan(Talk) 06:30, 1 May 2009 (UTC)
    • Unfortunately, after the copyedit I just gave the article, it now stands at 244 words. Please expand if you can. CC7567 (talk) 06:16, 1 May 2009 (UTC)
      • I expanded it with my own copyedit. ;) Graestan(Talk) 06:30, 1 May 2009 (UTC)
  3. Was it really stated somewhere that he is non-canon? I would use {{Easteregg}} instead. QuiGonJinnThere's always a bigger fish. 20:16, 5 May 2009 (UTC)

Comments