Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Flak (clone trooper)

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Flak

  • Nominated by: Clone Commander Lee Talk 09:32, September 14, 2010 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Why do I always get the fun clones?

(4 ACs/1 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. Nice job. I wanted to do this guy myself :P QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 17:45, September 15, 2010 (UTC)
  2. ACvote Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 18:39, September 30, 2010 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:15, October 6, 2010 (UTC)
  4. ACvote 1358 (Talk) 17:13, October 7, 2010 (UTC)
  5. ACvote Cylka-talk- 18:56, October 7, 2010 (UTC)

Object

QGJ
Xd1358's preliminaries
  • P&T quote needs {{quote}}, not {{dialogue}}.
  • Align the image differently. It looks strange where it's currently.
    • Better?
  • Check your image caption punctuation.
    • Fixed.
  • Why is crab droid capitalized?
    • Fixed.
  • Check your bio's opening sentence. Something is not right there? Were the clones born in the GAR?
    • Fixed.
  • More to come eventually. -- 1358 (Talk) 17:41, September 15, 2010 (UTC)
  • Please source his era to the TCWn, as it is the source that gives the date. 1358 (Talk) 20:24, September 17, 2010 (UTC)
    • Actually, it's fine, Xd. JangFett (Talk) 23:02, September 17, 2010 (UTC)
      • Almost every TCW article uses the novelization, except the ones that are sourced to various comics. I don't see a reason why this would not be sourced to the novelization. 1358 (Talk) 06:41, September 18, 2010 (UTC)
        • This is a game, Xd, however. It would be more appropriate to source it to that. JangFett (Talk) 04:12, September 21, 2010 (UTC)
          • Does the game give a date? Then, of course, source it to the game. :) 1358 (Talk) 12:14, September 21, 2010 (UTC)
        • Sourced. Clone Commander Lee Talk 13:24, September 18, 2010 (UTC)
          • Not really, just that it takes place after the Battle of Ryloth. Clone Commander Lee Talk 18:59, September 21, 2010 (UTC)
            • Okay, in that case, I think it's better to have it sourced to the novel. 1358 (Talk) 19:48, September 21, 2010 (UTC)
              • It's fine as is, Xd. JangFett (Talk) 21:44, September 21, 2010 (UTC)
                • If you don't give a reason for this change, this is useless. If Republic Heroes does not give a date, then it needs to be sourced to a source that gives the date. Simple. "It's fine" is not an explanation. 1358 (Talk) 11:49, September 22, 2010 (UTC)
  • "Engaging several B1 battle droids, B2 super battle droids and crab droids, the clone troopers managed to hot-wire several consoles and regain the energy." That needs to be clarified a bit. It sounds that they managed to hot-wire several consoles by engaging droids right now. 1358 (Talk) 21:34, September 24, 2010 (UTC)
  • There are some punctuation issues in the biography.
    • Better?
  • Regain the energy of what? "..and regain the energy." 1358 (Talk) 19:13, September 26, 2010 (UTC)
Jujiggum
  • "Serving with Commander Cody, Commander Ponds and another trooper, they were…" Incorrect grammar here. Hint: Flak is one person, not many.
    • Fixed.
      • This remains. The problem here is that you begin with "Serving with…" and—after listing who Flak is serving with—instead of saying Flak, you say "the group." So you're syaing that "the group" was serving with "Cody, Ponds, and another trooper."Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 17:42, September 30, 2010 (UTC)
        • Fixed.
          • Now you say "Flak and the other clones". But you just mentioned "the other clones." So the other clones were serving with the other clones? Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 18:04, September 30, 2010 (UTC)
  • No punctuation in image captions unless the caption is a complete sentence. Also, the caption's grammar is incorrect (regardless of the period)
    • Fixed.
  • Please use the clones' number designations upon their first mention in the body.
  • "During the patrol, Flak complained about the seemingly boring mission and stated he would rather fight Confederate battle droids, although Cody soon calmed him down." I have a couple concerns with this. First, how is this relevant outside of the P&T? Second, "Cody calmed him down." This sounds like he was getting frantic and all worked up, but so far you just said that he complained about the mission.
    • Fixed.
      • What good side was this? And you still haven't explained to me why this is relevant outside the P&T. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 17:42, September 30, 2010 (UTC)
        • Reduced.
          • You still have failed to explain to me why this is necessary here at all. This is the third time I've asked now. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 18:04, September 30, 2010 (UTC)
            • Because it is part of the bio and therefore neccessary.
  • "the clones were contacted by Windu via comlink, who ordered them" Technically, this says that the comlink itself ordered them. Please fix the grammar here.
  • Do we have an article for these energy condensators?
    • No, because we have no more info about them.
  • "Before they could repair the final consoles, Flak and the others came under attack of a Vulture droid and some Spider droids." Grammar.
    • Fixed.
  • "After defeating the enemy troops with a rocket launcher, they repaired the last two consoles…" "They" who? Technically, this sounds like it's referring to the Vulture and Spider droids that were just previously mentioned.
    • Fixed.
      • What group? The group could refer to the droid group, too. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 17:42, September 30, 2010 (UTC)
        • Fixed.
  • "Flak was not pleased with the mission on Juma 9 and even complained about this fact in front of his superior officers." He complained about the fact that he wasn't happy with the mission? I thought he was complaining about the missions itself.
    • Fixed.
      • Could you specify why he didn't like the mission? Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 17:42, September 30, 2010 (UTC)
        • Better?
          • Good word usage, but this doesn't really explain that well why he didn't like it. I think you could still specify a little more about what he didn't like here. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 18:04, September 30, 2010 (UTC)
  • In the ensuing sentence, the use of "Instead" doesn't follow.
    • Used "Instead of".
  • Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 17:26, September 30, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 18:56, October 7, 2010 (UTC)