Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Finn Galfridian

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Finn Galfridian

(0 ACs/3 Users/3 Total)

Support

  1. JangFett Talk 00:43, 3 August 2009 (UTC)
  2. Good job. SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is a lie) 00:52, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
  3. I trust you'll get Chack's first one properly, very good otherwise. NayayenOld Republic military symboltalk 22:41, 23 August 2009 (UTC)

Object

  1. Fett
    • Intro needs expanding.
    • "Although the two and their people were able to reach the hangar, the Yuuzhan Vong kept the building under siege." Try to reword "the two and their people". Mention who where the "two".
    • The "Yavin 4" section is too small to have its own section. Merge the sentence with the bio content.
    • P&T-"He had a dislike of shopping unless it was for food." Merge these short, choppy sentences.
    • P&T-"He was forced to take on much responsibility after his father elected to remain on Artorias to fight the Yuuzhan Vong invaders." That is not needed, it is already mentioned in the bio.
    • P&T-"He confided to Luke Skywalker that he didn't know how to lead, but was informed by the Jedi Master that if he faked confidence, he would get his people's backing." Again, not needed. You're just restating information from the bio. Unless you can state and source that he wasn't a natural leader and wasn't sure of himself in leading.
    • P&T-"He wanted to join his father's strike force against the Yuuzhan Vong despite the near certainty of death and at one point told Skywalker that he needed to find his mother and sister, despite knowing they were being held in captivity by the invaders." Again, not needed. Rewording content from the bio and then place it in the P&T is not concise.
    • Overall, try to lessen the play by play detail from the bio. Other than that, good work.
  2. Soresu
  3. Nayayen just got the Invasion comics today
    • "It was just after one of his exercises when the Yuuzhan Vong, an aggressive race of extra-galactic invaders, invaded the planet." The use of "invade" is repetitive here, reword it a bit.
      • Addressed
        • There is still another invade in the next sentence but I'm Chack'll notice with his objection.
    • In that same sentence, move the link to Battle of Artorias from "invaded" to "invasion" in the first sentence of the section.
    • "to rescue Finn's mother and sister Kaye" Can you mention Nina explicitly here? It sort of sounds like you're saying that Kaye is his mother and sister.
      • Addressed
    • You should include the fact that he could see through Prowl's photoreceptors via his goggles.
      • Addressed
    • You need to link to Galfridian family & Battle of Rychel somewhere in the article.
    • In fact, check your linking throughout; remember my objection on your Vindication FAN.
      • Chack got most of mine and I've done the rest I saw. NayayenOld Republic military symboltalk 00:49, 23 August 2009 (UTC)
    • Other than that, it looks good. I'll upload a better version of File:Finnlift.jpg for you too. --NayayenOld Republic military symboltalk 15:58, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
  4. Chack Attack:
    • "It was just after one of his exercises when the Yuuzhan Vong, an aggressive race of extra-galactic invaders, invaded the planet. The Yuuzhan Vong had recently invaded the galaxy, destroying the planet of Sernpidal in the process." You use "invaded" too many times. Please change the two "invaded" verbs. This is the same as Nayayen's, so sorry, this just strongly jumped out to me.
      • Addressed
    • Training on Yavin 4 is a bit too pbp.
      • Addressed
    • "Finn Galfridian appeared to be bored with life on Artorias." Can you state that he was definitely bored? In the Bio, you essentially do, and from you've described in the article, it sounds as though you can remvoe this "weasel word".
      • Addressed
    • "since he had a dislike of shopping with his family unless it was for food." Any details on why he liked shopping for food?
      • Addressed. I decided to remove that line as it was rather mundane.
    • Overall good work, just watch your linking. I think I fixed it all, so that likely satisfy Nayayen's objection, though you should make sure. Chack Jadson (Talk) 23:44, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
  5. Attack of the Clone
    • Please start off the body with Finn. It sounds too storybookish otherwise.
    • If there's enough info, "destroying the planet of Sernpidal in the process" and "sabotaged by a Yuuzhan Vong agent" both need to be linked.
    • Please work in a mention somehow that Prowl went with Finn to the Jedi academy.
    • Why was Finn "frozen"?
    • Please reword the colloquial "developed a crush." It's extremely un-encyclopedic.
    • Are you sure that the "Great" in Kyp Duron's quote is capitalized?
    • Make sure that you keep him regularly updated. The next Invasion issue is coming out in just three days. CC7567 (talk) 18:51, 30 August 2009 (UTC)
    • Improperly sourced info and extremely bad grammar in "Battle of Rychel." PointGiven, I seriously recommend that you wait until the comics are done before promoting this, because this is how it's going to be every time unless you can get the comics first and update it on your own. I myself will not be able to support it otherwise. CC7567 (talk) 07:22, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

Comments

  • I feel that I musk ask: are you 100% sure you wanna do this? Because you will most likely have to update it every month for several years. Oh, and the second issue is already out. MauserComlink 21:55, 5 August 2009 (UTC)
  • Just a note, due to shipping issues, I won't be able to receive Star Wars Invasion 3: Refugees, Part 3 until Friday, so anyone can feel free to update his biography if you get the issue earlier than I do PointGiven (But...it was so artistically done...) 16:32, September 2, 2009 (UTC)
    • Unless you're willing to do all of the work and keep it updated as soon as each new issue comes out, it's going to be a tough review process for you, and the article isn't even meeting Rule 5 of being stable. Another user has also added unsourced content to the article, and if you can't verify it yourself, I would recommend that you wait until all the issues are out before you promote this article. CC7567 (talk) 23:00, September 2, 2009 (UTC)
  • After thinking it over I agree with CC7567 and Mauser and I'll withdraw both Finn and Caled Galfridian from GA nominations until Invasion either finishes or goes on hiatus. PointGiven (But...it was so artistically done...) 21:11, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

Vote to remove nomination (AC only)

  1. ACvote Per nominator's request above to wait until the article is more stable with less frequent appearances. CC7567 (talk) 06:46, September 5, 2009 (UTC)
  2. ACvote Per nominator's request. Jonjedigrandmaster (Jedi Beacon) 14:37, September 5, 2009 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Graestan(Talk) 18:27, September 9, 2009 (UTC)