- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Drophan
- Nominated by: Jonjedigrandmaster
(We seed the stars) 20:22, April 18, 2010 (UTC) - Nomination comments: A Massassi warrior from Crosscurrent
(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)
Support
- JangFett (Talk) 03:40, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
- Clone Commander Lee Talk 18:24, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
- Graestan(Talk) 15:39, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
Elephant! Chack Jadson (Talk) 23:58, April 29, 2010 (UTC)
--Eyrezer 21:06, May 2, 2010 (UTC)
Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:03, May 3, 2010 (UTC)
Object
- Lee attacks
He was confronted by Drophan, who interrogated Druur and began to report the intruder. Druur then attacked Drophan, decapitating him with his lightsaber before the Massassi could report him. Could you replace the second report with a synonym. Also could you reword the last sentence so that it is from Drophan's POV ?- I don't see why the second report should be changed; it's in a separate sentence. And the last sentence is from Drophan's POV. There's no issue here. Jonjedigrandmaster (We seed the stars) 18:20, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
- I don't see why the second report should be changed; it's in a separate sentence. And the last sentence is from Drophan's POV. There's no issue here. Jonjedigrandmaster
Drophan first appeared briefly as a minor character in Paul S. Kemp's debut Star Wars novel, Crosscurrent, released January 26, 2010. Word missing ?- This sentence is grammatically correct, Lee. Jonjedigrandmaster (We seed the stars) 18:20, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
- This sentence is grammatically correct, Lee. Jonjedigrandmaster
- Nice work. Clone Commander Lee Talk 18:18, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
- Eyrezer:
to be honest, I feel the second paragraph in the P&T adds nothing to the article. It mostly repeats what is already in the Biography. Removing won't compromise the GAN word count threshold either. Can you remove it or substantially reduce it to remove the redundancy? --Eyrezer 08:53, April 22, 2010 (UTC)- I don't see any problem with the paragraph; it talks about Drophan's personality, and provides situational occurances. Leaving it out or even just reducing it would be removing important information about his personality. Jonjedigrandmaster (We seed the stars) 18:02, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
- "Drophan was suspicious of Relin Druur after finding the Jedi, and when Druur attempted to cover for his situation by claiming that he had come from the landing bay, Drophan asked who his superior was." vs "the Massassi, suspicious of the Jedi Master's flexsuit—a type of environmental suit—inquired as to who his superior was."
- "When Druur did not provide an answer, Drophan began to report the intruder.'" vs "When Druur gave no answer, Drophan pushed him up against the wall and began to report the interloper's presence via comlink"
- "However, Druur was able to distract the Massassi by claiming that his superior was Memit Nadill." vs "but Druur cut him off by claiming that his superior was Memit Nadill."
- "Drophan was slightly taken aback and revealed that he did not know the name." vs "Drophan was unfamiliar with the name,"
- "When Druur replied that Nadill was a Jedi Master, Drophan was too surprised and incredulous to react right away. However, he soon registered the significance of what Druur had said and attacked the Jedi." vs "Druur informed him that Nadill was a Jedi Master on the planet Kirrek. [...] Finally realizing the threat that Druur presented, Drophan moved to attack,"
- This whole paragraph is just a rewording of part of the biography, and placing it in the P&T. It's not his personality, it's just a summary of the actions he took. --Eyrezer 06:36, April 25, 2010 (UTC)
- The point is that his actions define his personality. He was suspicious of Druur, but was prone to distraction and was taken aback by Druur's response. And then he was slow to react because he couldn't register Druur's reply quick enough. Anyway, I've reduced it some. Jonjedigrandmaster (We seed the stars) 12:59, April 25, 2010 (UTC)
- That is a good improvement. I still generally feel the same way, but that is more a problem with our approach to P&T and not your article in particular. Good work Jon, and thanks for the patience. --Eyrezer 21:06, May 2, 2010 (UTC)
- Thanks, and thanks for the review. :) Jonjedigrandmaster (We seed the stars) 21:08, May 2, 2010 (UTC)
- Thanks, and thanks for the review. :) Jonjedigrandmaster
- That is a good improvement. I still generally feel the same way, but that is more a problem with our approach to P&T and not your article in particular. Good work Jon, and thanks for the patience. --Eyrezer 21:06, May 2, 2010 (UTC)
- The point is that his actions define his personality. He was suspicious of Druur, but was prone to distraction and was taken aback by Druur's response. And then he was slow to react because he couldn't register Druur's reply quick enough. Anyway, I've reduced it some. Jonjedigrandmaster
- This whole paragraph is just a rewording of part of the biography, and placing it in the P&T. It's not his personality, it's just a summary of the actions he took. --Eyrezer 06:36, April 25, 2010 (UTC)
- I don't see any problem with the paragraph; it talks about Drophan's personality, and provides situational occurances. Leaving it out or even just reducing it would be removing important information about his personality. Jonjedigrandmaster
In the intro, you say that the ore was for use during the Galactic Hyperspace War, while in the body you say that it was preparation for the Sith invasion.Chack Jadson (Talk) 00:14, April 28, 2010 (UTC)- Good catch; adjusted. Thanks for the review! Jonjedigrandmaster (We seed the stars) 00:26, April 28, 2010 (UTC)
- Good catch; adjusted. Thanks for the review! Jonjedigrandmaster
Comments
Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 21:03, May 3, 2010 (UTC)
- Per Llerd, Omen and Harbinger should not have a "the" in front of them, so I removed it for each instance. Feel free to check the book or revert me if I'm wrong. Chack Jadson (Talk) 00:14, April 28, 2010 (UTC)