Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Donni Bratz

< Wookieepedia:Good article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Donni Bratz

  • Nominated by: Pranay Sobusk ~ Talk 11:45, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Had started working on this article a few months ago, now it's finished.

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. —Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 21:05, 26 June 2009 (UTC)
  2. ACvote CC7567 (talk) 19:58, 3 July 2009 (UTC)
  3. ToRsO bOy 16:38, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
  4. ACvote Grunny (Talk) 22:17, 19 July 2009 (UTC)
  5. ACvote The kid's a jerk. Chack Jadson (Talk) 01:21, 21 July 2009 (UTC)

Object

  1. From the Council Chambers:
    • "Yoda made him forget that he was stealing the drink.": It might be a good idea to mention that Yoda used a mind trick to do this, because it's slightly unclear as written.
      • Addressed
    • In the intro, you say that Yoda stole the drink, but in the bio, you say only that Yoda "tried to" steal it, implying that he was unsuccessful. Which is correct?
      • Clarified
    • —Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 18:07, 26 June 2009 (UTC)
      • Thanks for the review, Jonathan. Let me know if further work is needed. Pranay Sobusk ~ Talk 19:21, 26 June 2009 (UTC)
  2. Attack of the Clone
    • In the intro, you say that they intended to play Wookiee Warpath; however, it's slightly unclear if they actually did. Please clarify.
      • Addressed
    • Was "the best big brother a guy could have" quoted directly from the book? If so, then the end quotation needs to be after the period of the sentence. I'm asking because I don't know which one is correct. CC7567 (talk) 00:18, 3 July 2009 (UTC)
      • Yes, it's directly quoted. I hope I've addressed this, but since I'm not too familiar with the English citation rules (to be honest, I'm not even familiar with the German citation rules, and that's my native language :P), it might still be wrong. Thank you for the review, CC7567, and please let me know if there are any further objections. Pranay Sobusk ~ Talk 19:55, 3 July 2009 (UTC)
  3. After a small copyedit…
    • Context on the Reasonable Doubt in the intro.
      • Addressed
    • Vary synonyms for “turn” in the intro please.
      • Addressed
    • Is “the” Jedi Master, in reference to Yoda, really needed?
      • Removed
    • Is it stated how he violated his brother’s authority?
      • This situation is only briefly mentioned as following: "Chuck had put his StarFries and Fizzy-Bip down next to the machine. Some very bad part considered tipping the Fizzy-Bip over, but he would certainly never do such a thing. Chuck, as Mom never stopped telling him, was the best big brother a guy could have. Besides, the last time he did something like that, Chuck had tied him to the old zink-sled with the missing right rear grimble and set it going until he threw up all over Mom's newly upholstered lounge chair." Unless I missed something, it's not known.
    • Vary synonyms involving the word “cruise” in bio.
      • Addressed
    • Is there a reason stated as to why Yoda got involved?
      • Not stated in the book.
    • “On one hand”, in the P&T, is rather colloquial. Perhaps “although” or something would be better.
      • I made a general rewording of the P&T, let me know if there are still wording issues
    • “Also” doesn’t really fit in where it is. Try changing the word.
      • See above
    • “The experience he had when violating his authority” is way too clunky. Reword.
      • See above
    • Well done so far, Pranay. :) --Darth tom Imperial Emblem (Imperial Intelligence) 20:32, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
      • Thanks for the review, Darth tom, and please let me know if there's anything left that prevents this article from being a GA. Pranay Sobusk ~ Talk 16:58, 11 July 2009 (UTC)
    • Objection(s) overridden by AgriCorps 22:23, 19 July 2009 (UTC)
  4. Grunny:
    • "a situation Donni often confronted when considering doing harm to his brother." Is "often" correct here or did he only think of it once in the book? If he only thought of it once, we can't assume he did so often.
      • He only thought it once, so it's speculation if he did it often. Removed.
    • I removed the references since this is a single-source article and as such referencing is unneeded. Grunny (Talk) 09:37, 19 July 2009 (UTC)
      • No problem. I usually just add them, because removing them later is easier than adding them if needed. Thanks for the review, Grunny, and let me know if you have further objections. Pranay Sobusk ~ Talk 13:08, 19 July 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 01:21, 21 July 2009 (UTC)


Vote to strike Darth tom's objections (AC only)

  1. ACvote Objections have been addressed and the objector is going to be away until the 31st. No reason to hold up the nom. Grunny (Talk) 22:17, 19 July 2009 (UTC)
  2. ACvote Chack Jadson (Talk) 22:18, 19 July 2009 (UTC)
  3. ACvote CC7567 (talk) 22:19, 19 July 2009 (UTC)
  4. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:20, 19 July 2009 (UTC)