Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Dengless Rinn

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Dengless Rinn

  • Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:21, May 14, 2010 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Moustache! Moustache!

(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is a lie) 02:17, May 28, 2010 (UTC)
  2. Might as well get my vote in now. Trak Nar Ramble on 07:02, May 28, 2010 (UTC)
  3. TK-299 (Click Here) Imperial Emblem 07:25, May 30, 2010 (UTC)
  4. ACvote JangFett (Talk) 01:51, June 3, 2010 (UTC)
  5. ACvote Chack Jadson (Talk) 23:27, June 6, 2010 (UTC)
  6. ACvote CC7567 (talk) 07:06, June 7, 2010 (UTC)

Object

Fett
  • "An ambitious bureaucrat, Rinn coveted a higher rank, but his superior, Governor Linrec, didn't offer him any promotion." Why wasn't he offered a promotion?
    • Added as much as OS specifies. Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:33, May 24, 2010 (UTC)
      • You mention that he felt overqualified and deserved a promotion, and Linrec thought the opinion was exaggerated and didn't offer him a promotion in the bio. In order to clarify why he wasn't offered a promotion in the intro, this information could be shortened and added into the intro.
  • "Prefect Rinn hired bounty hunters both to fight the local agents of the Alliance to Restore the Republic, including Pallas Quintell" You mentioned "both," but I only see the Rebel Alliance being mentioned only.
    • Added. Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:33, May 24, 2010 (UTC)
      • Better, but like the first objection, could you expand on why he hired those hunters?
        • I'm not sure if I understand you. OS doesn't specify why Rinn hired hunters instead of using his troops or corps - except because the player characters must have a role. Expanded as much as I could, I think. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:10, May 31, 2010 (UTC)
          • It's better.
  • Can you mention early in the bio that he was a Human male?
  • Also in the bio, please add context to Governor Linrec. You vaguely say that Rinn was his "underling," without mentioning why he was or who Linrec is.
  • You can't find any suitable quotes for the bio and P&T?
    • None. Unfortunately, that's common with RPG adventures. Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:33, May 24, 2010 (UTC)
  • "Rinn considered himself a better catch than Raiss, and thought that Linrec was trying to insult him personally." How was he trying to insult him personally? Please clarify.
  • "He was younger than he looked like," I don't understand what you mean by this. You mean he appeared younger?
  • JangFett (Talk) 20:28, May 21, 2010 (UTC)
Soresu
  • In the intro you say he used the same mercs against both the rebels and Linrec. This is mentioned nowhere else.
    • Modified: He used the PC's to fight Rebels; and Mantis Syndicate against Linrec - but both PC's and Mantis are bounty hunters/mercs. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:05, May 27, 2010 (UTC)
  • Rinn also ordered the prefect's men Isn't the prefect Rinn? Some more pronouns could be used in the articles without sacrificing clarity. SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is the truth) 05:06, May 27, 2010 (UTC)
Where's the beef?
  • Is the "nobody in particular" bit in the main quote needed? It's funny, but IMO, it's not needed and produces a bit of bias.
  • "including Rinn's personal bane" Would "arch-enemy" work? I think that would sound better than "personal enemy."
  • "Some bounty hunters then foiled Rinn's conspiracy, which was discovered by the Empire. Rinn quickly left Kallistas with little more than the clothes he was wearing at the moment. The Empire wanted him for treason, conspiracy, illegal possession of weapons and flight to avoid prosecution." Can this be re-ordered so that the last sentence is second, and vice versa. It will also need a little rephrasing.
  • Chack Jadson (Talk) 01:37, June 2, 2010 (UTC)
  • "Rinn was considered arrogant and self-important." Is it specified who considered him arrogant? Chack Jadson (Talk) 01:09, June 3, 2010 (UTC)
The clone
  • Did he actually hide in the Outer Rim, or was that just the authorities' belief? The intro says the first, while the body says the second. Since they aren't necessarily the same thing, please fix the inconsistency. CC7567 (talk) 02:44, June 5, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 07:06, June 7, 2010 (UTC)


  • All I can think of is perhaps replacing "special" in "losing the datapad and the special gun" to something else, but my mental thesaurus is closed due to fatigue at the moment. Otherwise, I haven't found anything that really stood out at me, but I'll await a couple more reviews before voting. Which, due to moving, may not be for a while. Trak Nar Ramble on 07:13, May 27, 2010 (UTC)
    • Changed to custom gun. Also available: Tailor-made, personalized, improved... --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:38, May 27, 2010 (UTC)