- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.
Dekluun
- Nominated by: Clone Commander Lee Talk 22:00, September 10, 2014 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Consider this my last nomination.
(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
Object
We'll see about that :P
Are the —— 's really necessary? Is that how the quotes are like in the book?- I'm afraid so.
- It's so ugly though >.>
- I'm afraid so.
In the P&T, you mention a clone army, but before that, there is no specification that the GA's troops are clones save for a pipelink. It would be best if you could state it out right.501st dogma(talk) 18:00, September 11, 2014 (UTC)- Have a look. Clone Commander Lee Talk 19:51, September 11, 2014 (UTC)
Exiled Jedi
- Based on the size of the article, I think that the intro could use a short expansion.
- What would like to see in there? I can see no really needed info that would fit.
- You could mention that he dealt heavy casualties to Republic forces. You could mention the Clone Wars and the Confederacy. It is okay to repeat some information.--Exiled Jedi
(Greetings) 17:19, October 20, 2014 (UTC)
- You could mention that he dealt heavy casualties to Republic forces. You could mention the Clone Wars and the Confederacy. It is okay to repeat some information.--Exiled Jedi
- What would like to see in there? I can see no really needed info that would fit.
- Why is Sephi a separate affiliation in the infobox? I do not think that species are listed as affiliations, as species are rarely an entirely unified body.
- The Sephi themselves appear as one united enemy in this comic and are always referred to as such.
- Does the comic mention explicitly refer to a Sephi government or to the monarchy? If there is enough information in the comic, you could create an article on their government and use that instead.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 17:19, October 20, 2014 (UTC)
- Does the comic mention explicitly refer to a Sephi government or to the monarchy? If there is enough information in the comic, you could create an article on their government and use that instead.--Exiled Jedi
- The Sephi themselves appear as one united enemy in this comic and are always referred to as such.
- For the date reference, you need to provide information stating the month and year when the Battle of Geonosis occurred, as the reference currently does not fully support the 21 BBY date.
- Have a look.
- That still leaves open the possibility that it could occur in 20 BBY. You need to provide the month that the Battle of Geonosis occurred. I think the Atlas might have this information.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 17:19, October 20, 2014 (UTC)
- That still leaves open the possibility that it could occur in 20 BBY. You need to provide the month that the Battle of Geonosis occurred. I think the Atlas might have this information.--Exiled Jedi
- Have a look.
- You should probably mention his aide in the body.
- IMHO, that would only generate unnecessary fluff. They only speak one or two sentences before being bombed too dust.
- I still think that a quick mention of him discussing the situation with his aide is necessary for the biography. One of the aims of the nomination process is to have comprehensive detail.--Exiled Jedi
(Greetings) 17:19, October 20, 2014 (UTC)
- I still think that a quick mention of him discussing the situation with his aide is necessary for the biography. One of the aims of the nomination process is to have comprehensive detail.--Exiled Jedi
- IMHO, that would only generate unnecessary fluff. They only speak one or two sentences before being bombed too dust.
Although it will be short, the armor is enough to warrant a separate equipment section.- Added.
Does the comic provide the full date of when it was released? If not, you will need to source the date differently.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 18:37, October 12, 2014 (UTC)
- Changed.
Winterz
- I understand EJ's already onto this but regardless, I'd just like to point out a few things on that intro. Kicking the article off with "(...) Sephi commander who led troops (...) when the Republic invaded blabla" just sounds weird. Try to start slowly..as in "Dekluun was a male Sephi commander serving under x in the planet y during z [FULL STOP]" though, keep in mind this is just one example. One thing is for sure, you need to twist what you have there right now. Also in the intro, mentioning his affiliation to the CIS and the Sephi King (as I pointed out in my example) wouldn't harm.
- Why isn't the aide mentioned before the P&t section? I mean, he's a pretty notable presence even in the limited biography of Dekluun. (just noticed, EJ already pointed this out; I'm supporting his objection)
- No content in brackets, please. Winterz (talk) 21:08, November 1, 2014 (UTC)