Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Davod Jon

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Davod Jon

  • Nominated by: Hanzo Hasashi 05:51, October 18, 2010 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Same as Godherdt, source-by-source minor character project and one I once personally destubbed.

(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. Clone Commander Lee Talk 17:19, October 19, 2010 (UTC)
  2. The Empire is victorious on all fronts! Menkooroo 03:44, October 27, 2010 (UTC)
  3. Provided Toprawa's extensive knowledge on adaptations still gives this a pass. Graestan(Talk) 21:26, January 16, 2011 (UTC)
  4. ACvote The last BTS paragraph was a mess, I'm sorry to say, but I rewrote it for general coherence. Article should be good now. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:29, January 20, 2011 (UTC)
  5. ACvote Grunny (talk) 13:46, January 21, 2011 (UTC)
  6. ACvote 1358 (Talk) 18:28, January 21, 2011 (UTC)

Object

Lee's charge
  • Mention that he is a male Human in the bio.
  • Add something about the fate of the Death Star to the bio.
    • Not sure about whether he would have actually been stationed on the Death Star during the Endor battle though, as many of those personnel were confirmed not to. Hanzo Hasashi 20:14, October 18, 2010 (UTC)
  • Reword the P&T. It's nearly the same as in the bio.
    • Have attempted a rewording, seems better now. Hanzo Hasashi 20:14, October 18, 2010 (UTC)
  • All from me. Clone Commander Lee Talk 18:03, October 18, 2010 (UTC)
Jeff's charge
  • There are two instances of "shortly" in close succession in the intro --- can you change it up?
    • Will do so, I sort of felt as awkward about it. Hanzo Hasashi 17:34, October 26, 2010 (UTC)
  • Take a look at what Recon links to and think about whether you should be linking it or not. :^P
  • "convinced superiors that wilderness survival and recon training were necessary for military dominance despite technological superiority." is worded identically in the intro and the bio. How do you feel about rewording one of them?
    • I will attempt to do so. Hanzo Hasashi 17:34, October 26, 2010 (UTC)
      • I'm looking for a little more than the addition of "also" to one of them --- also, "Despite perceived technological superiority," reads a little weird; it makes it seem like Jon is the one with perceived superiority. Maybe "despite the Empire's perceived technological superiority" or something would read better?
        • I have tweaked the biography repeat in the only way I can think of. Hanzo Hasashi 02:56, October 27, 2010 (UTC)
  • As a note, remember to only link to things once in the body (Galactic Emperor and Palpatine were both linked to twice (I fixed it)).
  • As with Godhert, I really don't think the personality and traits section is necessary. It's a single sentence cloned from the bio that doesn't really say all that much about his personality.
    • True, I just did that because other GA's have similar personality and traits sections which don't actually reflect their personalities. Hanzo Hasashi 17:34, October 26, 2010 (UTC)
      • It all depends on article length, really. Something as short as this one probably doesn't need to rehash the exact same sentence that's already been in the intro and the bio. Additionally, some extrapolation would be needed in a statement such as this one in order to actually be telling something about his personality (such as "Jon felt" or "Jon believed", rather than "Jon convinced"), but with the article as short and repetitive as it is, I still think it would be best to jettison it. Thoughts?
        • Well not every GA has a personality and traits section anyhow, and right from the beginning I really felt like the given personality and traits section was forced, stating the same thing a third time. I have gotten rid of it.Hanzo Hasashi 02:56, October 27, 2010 (UTC)
  • As with Godhert, can you mention that he was played by an uncredited actor?
  • Also, regarding Premium-Era-real this revision on starwars.wikia.com (backup link not verified!) that you made --- I don't think that deleted scenes from the original trilogy are part of canon. See, for example, Jerjerrod's bts. This objection also applies to Godhert. Menkooroo 12:42, October 26, 2010 (UTC)
    • I was thinking about it, and feel the same way. There are some deleted scenes that in fact contradict with established canon, such as Owen and Obi-Wan being related to each other, which ended up having to be retconned out of existence. Hanzo Hasashi 17:34, October 26, 2010 (UTC)
      • Looks good. However, the bts now talks about the "Emperor's arrival" as if the reader already knows about it. Can you give some detail on it? Maybe specify what he's arriving on, and that it's a scene from the film? Menkooroo 02:08, October 27, 2010 (UTC)
        • Done. Hanzo Hasashi 02:56, October 27, 2010 (UTC)
          • Looks great! Remember to make the same change to Godhert, though. Menkooroo 03:43, October 27, 2010 (UTC)
Xd1358
  • Please cut down on the intro. It is rather disproportionate compared to the actual IU article body.
    • I didn't think there was any problem, but I will try to find a way to adjust it.
      • It seems good now. Remember that you compare the intro to the IU portion of the article; the Bts is not included. 1358 (Talk) 21:18, December 5, 2010 (UTC)
  • Jon being a colonel is not mentioned in the bio.
  • ROTJ isn't a source for 4 ABY, is it?
  • Davod Jon's presence on the second Death Star can't be sourced to ROTJ.
    • I would say it is the only way to source it, since I am addressing something that was shown in the movie.
  • Can you use {{CSWECite}} for the CSWE source item? 1358 (Talk) 17:41, December 2, 2010 (UTC)
    • Done a request for whatever info is available on this character from the CSWE, will cite that with the given template. Hanzo Hasashi 19:44, December 5, 2010 (UTC)
      • Taken care of with proper CSWE sourcing, and adding of new missing info. Hanzo Hasashi 04:41, December 6, 2010 (UTC)
        • I've taken care of this this time, but please don't have the page number in the appearance item, since we don't list page numbers for any other source. However, please use the same template for the reference as well, and include page number(s). 1358 (Talk) 20:09, December 6, 2010 (UTC)
    • Did it. Hanzo Hasashi 21:20, December 6, 2010 (UTC)
  • Skin color in the infobox, please? 1358 (Talk) 20:09, December 6, 2010 (UTC)
    • Yep, added light to the infobox. Hanzo Hasashi 21:20, December 6, 2010 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • Before I even get into the Davod Jon nom, I can tell you that the article is missing information from ROTJ. Jon is among the horde of Imperial officers who escort Vader to the Death Star's hangar bay to greet the Emperor's arrival. He is visible in a panned-out image of the hangar scene. This picture can be seen in a few places off the top of my head, among them the back cover of the ROTJ junior novel. But it's best visible on the two-page "Introduction" spread in Star Wars: The Complete Visual Dictionary. Jon is standing to the right of Jerjerrod. I believe Godherdt is also standing right behind Jon, but I'm not exactly sure. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:50, December 10, 2010 (UTC)
    • Would that be one of the deleted scenes already covered in the BTS, or no? Hanzo Hasashi 17:11, December 12, 2010 (UTC)
      • Well, in any case I would still need to add that to his page. Should it be part of his in-universe bio, or out of universe behind the scenes? Hanzo Hasashi 17:38, December 12, 2010 (UTC)
        • Added it as BTS. Should it also be added to his bio, or stay ambiguous like other deleted scenes? Hanzo Hasashi 18:11, December 12, 2010 (UTC)
          • It should definitely be considered fully canonical and be included in the biography. Also, I don't think this information should have been added to the Godherdt article. I said I think he appears in that scene, but it's far too difficult to say for sure that's him. Judging by that picture alone is not enough to say it's definitively him. I've also discussed this with others to get secondary opinions, and they agree on this point. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:45, December 13, 2010 (UTC)
  • Source list needs to be ordered by correct real-world chronological publication date. "Imperial Sourcebook" also needs to pipelink to a specific edition. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:56, January 16, 2011 (UTC)
    • Done, and Imperial Sourcebook properly linked too. Hanzo Hasashi 16:52, January 16, 2011 (UTC)
      • It's still not listed correctly. Publication dates are noted on each individual article. It's just a matter of reading them and listing them chronologically. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:25, January 17, 2011 (UTC)
        • Right, I made a mistake thinking that the source that first identified him was meant to come first, regardless of publication date. I think I got it this time. Hanzo Hasashi 02:05, January 18, 2011 (UTC)
  • This description isn't working, and it certainly isn't correct in a literal sense. This makes it seem as if there is one hangar bay in the entire Death Star, that they're welcoming the Emperor in the Death Star hangar bay. Amend, please: "in the battlestation's hangar bay." Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:21, January 18, 2011 (UTC)
  • The bio includes mention of and treats as canonical the deleted ROTJ scene where Jon and the other officers walk with Vader down the Death Star's corridor and into the hangar bay to greet the Emperor. This is problematic because, as far as I know, this deleted corridor scene has never been included in any canonical source material, certainly not the Complete Visual Dictionary, which you presume to source this information to, and therefore cannot be considered canon. This needs to be removed from the bio and mentioned only in the BTS as a deleted scene. Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:38, January 20, 2011 (UTC)
    • Last month we talked about this, and in your objection you told me that scene should be fully canon and included in the bio. Guess I will thus delete it, if you say so, and simply keep it in the behind the scenes. Hanzo Hasashi 01:01, January 20, 2011 (UTC)
      • I'm aware of the substance of our discussion, and that's not what I said. That objection pertained only to the scene where they're standing in the hangar together as a group. That information, sourced to the image from Complete Visual Dictionary and the ROTJ junior novel, does not include the corridor scene. Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:04, January 20, 2011 (UTC)
      • I've reverted your change per this objection, because it did not resolve the issue. You should still leave the bit about the fact that he was part of a group of officers that escorts Vader to the hangar to greet the Emperor, since that can be sourced to the CVD image. We just can't mention the corridor scene. Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:10, January 20, 2011 (UTC)
        • Got it, I think. But I have no clue what's going on with the Visual Dictionary ref, it's really frustrating I swear I am citing it correctly in the behind the scenes, but no matter what there's an invalid ref error!! Hanzo Hasashi 01:28, January 20, 2011 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 18:28, January 21, 2011 (UTC)


  • I have also made similar changes that I made with Godherdt's article, based on Menkooroo's comments about the same parts I copy-edited from similar minor character GAs. Also, can anybody determine if Davod Jon was also visibly on the second Death Star to await Sidious' arrival? I still do personally think it is impossible to tell, but any help would be appreciated. Thanks. Hanzo Hasashi 20:14, October 18, 2010 (UTC)
    • So the CSWE says Davod Jon served under Piett during the Battle of Endor, does that mean he was part of the Executor? Hanzo Hasashi 03:48, December 6, 2010 (UTC)
      • I would believe not necessarily, since Piett was in command of all of Death Squadron, which was more than just the Executor. Hanzo Hasashi 04:41, December 6, 2010 (UTC)
        • Agreed. Not necessarily a crewman of the Executor. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:57, January 16, 2011 (UTC)