Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Darth Malak

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Darth Malak

(+2)

Support

  1. as nominator.Jedi Kasra 06:48, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
  2. Drewton 17:29, 25 April 2008 (UTC)
  3. Zhran 04:19, 10 May 2008 (UTC)

Object

  1. Barely sourced. Has a "committee" tag. Also, although I'm by no means an expert on the topic, I would've thought his article would be quite a bit longer, though I may be wrong. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:02, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
      • Most of it has been fixed by Jedi Kasra. Drewton 01:20, 7 May 2008 (UTC)
  2. From—Tommy9281(Lússë i Morë Hwesta súya!) 20:38, 20 April 2008 (UTC)
    • The opening paragraph doesn't need to be referenced, as the information is also present within the body of the article and also referenced there.
    • Also in the opening paragraph, you say, "Later, having both "killed" and usurped the mantle of Darth Revan in 3,957 BBY". It should read something like, Later, having both "killed" Revan and usurped the mantle of Dark Lord of the Sith in 3,957 BBY.
    • In the "early life" section, you say, "According to Deesra Luur Jada, he was trained on Dantooine, where he met his closest friend, Revan." This is confusing; was Revan his closest friend already when Malak got to Dantooine, or did they become closest friends while together on Dantooine?
    • The term "Master" should be capitalized when referring to an individual's Sith or Jedi Master if the individual is acting in an apprentice capacity.
      • Fixed. Drewton 01:20, 7 May 2008 (UTC)
    • In the "Captured at Flashpoint" section, you say, "Roughly a week after his meeting with Carrick on Taris, he was captured during the Fourth Battle of Suurja by the Neo-Crusaders and taken to Flashpoint Station". Please explain who the Neo-Crusaders are and what Flashpoint station is, as these are the first mentions of both subjects in the article.
    • In the paragraph immediately following, you talk abou Jarael as though she was previously explained. This is also misleading, because it almost seems like you're picking up on a part of her story you had previously established. Please explain her further, at least in significance to the situation.
    • Sentences should not begin with "And".
      • I couldn't find any besides in the quotes. Drewton 18:22, 9 May 2008 (UTC)
    • In the second paragraph of the "Adasca's plot" section, you introduce the Arkanian Legacy. Who's ship is this? What kind of ship is it? Briefly explain please.
    • The same applies to the Williwaw. When you introduce it, you do just that. Please briefly explain the ship.
    • In the third paragraph of the "Adasca's plot" section, you say, "When Adasca struck Jarael for talking in her wrist-comlink to Camper, Alek ignited his lightsaber and put the blade near Adasca's throat, warning him not to hurt her again". Who is Camper? briefly explain Camper & his significance.
    • Same section. You say, "Alek, along with Zayne, Lucien Draay, Carth Onasi, Admiral Karath, Jarael, Rohlan, and Commander Dallan Morvis escaped the Legacy observation dome as the exogorths under the elderly scientist: Gorman Vandrayk's command devoured it, killing Adasca". Wrong use of a colon.
    • Like stated above by AdmirableAckbar, the article is barely referenced. When referencing, keep in mind that Each paragraph needs to be referenced.
      • Most of it has been fixed by Jedi Kasra. Drewton 01:20, 7 May 2008 (UTC)
    • I'm sure quotes could be found for the "Adasca's plot" and "The quest's end nears" sections.
    • I think that "The quest's end nears" should be reworded.
    • Also in the "Adasca's plot" section, you talk about Zayne Carrick and "the charges levied against him". This is an important plot device, and needs to be briefly explained.
    • In the same section, you say, "This heroic reputation was finally cemented during the final battle of the war, where they defeated the Mandalorians and slew their leader, Mandalore the Ultimate, above Malachor V". Who are "they"? This can be misleading, so please tell exactly who "they" are.
    • Some of your pipelinks "hint" at the topics they link to. As this is an encyclopedia, links should be less vague, in my opinion.
    • (minor)In the "Sith apprentice" section, you say, "Even so, the unconfirmed sightings of Revan and Malak on numerous worlds throughout their year-long disappearance imply that they visited the majority of these planets after the Mandalorian Wars' conclusion". I would have said "implied".
    • In the "Dark Lord of the Sith" section, you say, "While on their search they were captured by the Sith and brought on board the Leviathan, while escaping the ship they encountered Malak himself who revealed to Revan his true identity". This needs to be reworded, so that "while" isn't used twice. Kinda disrupts the flow of the sentence.
      • Fixed. Drewton 01:20, 7 May 2008 (UTC)
    • Same section. You mention the Leviathan. Please offer a brief explanation of the ship.
    • In the same section, you say, "Revan and Malak engaged in combat and Malak proved himself a powerful foe, eventually Bastila sacrificed herself to save Revan and was captured by Malak". Please reword this.
    • Same section. You finally introduce Malak's apprentice in the form of Darth Bandon, but you don't explain how Malak came to taking an apprentice, or even who Bandon is. Since this article isn't about "Bandon", just briefly explain him & his relationship to Malak.
    • I think that his powers & abilities section could be expanded.
      • There isn't really anything more to add. Drewton 22:39, 9 May 2008 (UTC)
  3. I know little about KOTOR but this article could surely be much longer. Chack Jadson (Talk) 14:42, 27 April 2008 (UTC)
      • It's been expanded. Drewton 01:20, 7 May 2008 (UTC)
  4. Expand the biography and powers & abilities sections. Scrawny. The layout is very poorly done and cluttered. This article is simply a mess. What it really needs is a good writer just do a complete overhaul on this. Remember: a GA is an article without enough information to be an FA. This subject has plenty of information to make it to an FA. --RedemptionRedemptionusersymbol(Talk) 04:40, 10 May 2008 (UTC)
    • Could you give me suggestions on just how we're supposed to do expand the "Powers and abilities" section? No one knows anything about Malak except what's on the article. And I think pretty much everything is sourced. There are few things that aren't.--Jedi Kasra 02:01, 12 May 2008 (UTC)
    • Also, how are we supposed to expand the biography sections? What's there is all that's known.--Jedi Kasra 02:05, 12 May 2008 (UTC)
      • Details! Never enough details. There are absolutley NO details anywhere. No examples either. Nothing. Bland. Bleh. Should I mention that the article is STILL a mess? Look yonder at my Raana Tey (not to toot my own horn since I consider my work to be on the not so great but it's a quick reference on a character whose abilities we shit about) or any other "little known" Jedi/Force User FA. --RedemptionRedemptionusersymbol(Talk) 02:10, 12 May 2008 (UTC)
        • Then, praytell, why can't you help us with it? And just how is it a mess? Too many pictures? It's not like it has horrible grammar.--Jedi Kasra 02:25, 12 May 2008 (UTC)
          • I could. But I don't want to. Case closed. I'm not the one nominating it. It's your responsibility, or anyone who wants to, to fix it. --RedemptionRedemptionusersymbol(Talk) 02:44, 12 May 2008 (UTC)
  5. Toprawa:
    • Ok, the buck stops here. I say this with all due respect, but this is not a Good Article. It is lacking in several areas of "what a GA is," as defined at the top of this page. Everything must be sourced. Please see my additional comments below. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:35, 10 May 2008 (UTC)
  6. O.K. I give up. Go ahead and remove the nomination. I'll keep working on it, as time goes by, I'll nominate it again.--Jedi Kasra 03:00, 12 May 2008 (UTC)
  • It's good to hear criticism. The powers and abilities section definitely needs to be expanded, and with more information about his abilities, not only his powers. And it was a good idea removing the nomination for now, Jedi Kasra. Drewton 16:31, 12 May 2008 (UTC)

Comments

  • I've worked on this article a lot, and I told Goodwood that I think it deserves a chance to be listed as a good article. I am experiencing technical difficulties on here and Wikipedia, but I will try to work on it as needed to the best of my abilities.--Jedi Kasra 06:48, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
    • Don't get discouraged; I received an extensive list of objections my first time around, and it helped me tremendously. Hopefully these will help you as they did for me! :)—Tommy9281(Lússë i Morë Hwesta súya!) 15:00, 21 April 2008 (UTC)
  • I added a lot of references today, particularily dealing ith his time as Alek Squinquargesimus in the comics. I'll add more later.--Jedi Kasra 23:58, 4 May 2008 (UTC)
  • I'm writing a major improvement for it. Drewton 13:04, 5 May 2008 (UTC)
  • The Dark Lord of the Sith section is now almost completely rewritten. Drewton 18:56, 5 May 2008 (UTC)
  • And I added more sources. I'll try to finish it tomorrow.--Jedi Kasra 00:10, 6 May 2008 (UTC)
  • Is their any specific information anyone would like to be added? Drewton 00:12, 6 May 2008 (UTC)
  • I think I've done as much sourcing as I can. If there is any other sourcing needed, let me know either here, or on my talk page.--Jedi Kasra 02:49, 7 May 2008 (UTC)
  • Drewton, please do not strike other user's objections; it is up to them to strike. I've unstricken my own, but I don't have time to unstrike Tommy's. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 07:00, 7 May 2008 (UTC)
  • Sorry, I thought it was done by people helping with the nomination. Drewton 12:14, 7 May 2008 (UTC)
  • Has anyone heard from Tommy9281?--Jedi Kasra 17:27, 7 May 2008 (UTC)
    • Give it another day or two. He'll be here. If you want, you can post a reminder on his talk page. Chack Jadson (Talk) 21:54, 8 May 2008 (UTC)
  • I'm not dead, I've been extremely busy, and Malak has been on my to-do list for a while now. I want to get to it this weekend, but I'm just curious as to what happened to the objections I already struck?—Tommy9281(Safe harbor, my friend.) 01:42, 9 May 2008 (UTC)
  • This isn't meant to be mean at all, but this thing has quite a ways to go before it reaches GA status. Everything needs to be sourced for starters. Paragraphs should be fleshed out or otherwise combined for a cleaner presentation. It's just very rough around the edges right now. I would really recommend removing the nomination and continuing work on it. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:54, 9 May 2008 (UTC)