Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Dainsom

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Dainsom

  • Nominated by: Hanzo Hasashi 05:38, February 22, 2011 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: The last onscreen Imperial character of Empire Strikes Back

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. Every movie character has a name... Holocron Greatholocron (Complain) 05:42, February 23, 2011 (UTC)
  2. ACvote Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 23:05, March 9, 2011 (UTC)
  3. I fixed the last one. Graestan(Talk) 17:25, March 11, 2011 (UTC)
  4. ACvote CC7567 (talk) 18:27, March 11, 2011 (UTC)
  5. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:52, March 11, 2011 (UTC)

Object

Holocron
  • Do you really need that Personality and traits section? There's only 1 sentence, and it's not all that relevant to his personality. Holocron Greatholocron (Complain) 21:01, February 22, 2011 (UTC)
    • Sort of felt the same way, removed. Hanzo Hasashi 21:23, February 22, 2011 (UTC)
Jujiggum
  • What do you mean by "sensitive" areas of Star Destroyers? Sensitive as in emotional? Sensitive as in susceptible to pain? I don't think "sensitive" is the word you're looking for here…
    • What should replace that word? Vulnerable? Priority?
      • Well, that depends on what you mean. Do you mean the positions were vulnerable areas (ie likely to come under attack)? Do you mean that they held important information (ie plans or documents)? Or do you mean that they were just important in general? Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 22:11, March 9, 2011 (UTC)
        • All his card and CSWE entry simply say are that he was assigned to guard sensitive areas. Unclear what they mean by "sensitive". Hanzo Hasashi 22:15, March 9, 2011 (UTC)
  • "Previously serving on the Thunderflare…" Please fix the tense/mood here. Also, you repeat what you said in the previous sentence, and only add the year information. Please combine the two sentences to avoid this redundancy.
    • Check out my rewording of the info, what do you think?
  • "and Darth Vader stalked past the Executor's commanding officer, Admiral Firmus Piett, and the rest of the terrified personnel on the bridge." Is this much detail really necessary? In fact, is any of this necessary? And even if it is, why where the crew terrified anyway? (I know that they feared punishment due to the Falcon's escape, but you have done nothing to explain this in the article.)
    • Got rid of the detail, now "Dainsom stood outside the warship's main bridge as the Falcon escaped into hyperspace and Darth Vader stalked past the personnel on the bridge." Better? Hanzo Hasashi 22:04, March 9, 2011 (UTC)
  • Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 21:38, March 9, 2011 (UTC)
Graestan
  • The link to the CCG card image is broken. Please fix it. Graestan(Talk) 23:38, March 9, 2011 (UTC)
  • "Darth Vader stalked past the personnel there" – This is pretty awkward wording; it doesn't describe the scene well and isn't exactly notable as Dainsom's biography is concerned. It's also more play-by-play than necessary because Vader walking out of the room in anger has no bearing on the plot whatsoever. I'd really remove it, but if you're going to leave it please be more descriptive. Graestan(Talk) 23:54, March 9, 2011 (UTC)
  • I'm pretty certain he is only described as experienced by the occupation of Bespin… We don't know whether he was already experienced when serving on the Thunderflare, so it's a bit speculative to just plain describe him as experienced to begin with. Please move that bit over to the part where he's posted on the Executor. Graestan(Talk) 00:03, March 10, 2011 (UTC)
    • Done. Hanzo Hasashi 01:58, March 10, 2011 (UTC)
      • And in the bio as well, please. Graestan(Talk) 04:42, March 10, 2011 (UTC)
        • It's already in both the bio and the intro. Intro: "In 3 ABY, Dainsom, an experienced trooper, was present on the Executor during the Imperial subjugation of Cloud City on the planet Bespin.", Bio: "In 3 ABY, Dainsom,[2] by then an experienced trooper guard,[1] was present on the Executor during the Super Star Destroyer's pursuit of the starship Millennium Falcon." Hanzo Hasashi 01:35, March 11, 2011 (UTC)
          • Actually, you still had him as experienced in the first mention. I removed it. Graestan(Talk) 17:25, March 11, 2011 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 20:52, March 11, 2011 (UTC)


  • Apparently there is some glitch going on with all the CCG website links. Hanzo Hasashi 05:39, February 22, 2011 (UTC)
  • Broken link fixed. Hanzo Hasashi 00:17, February 24, 2011 (UTC)