Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Customs Enforcement Division

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Customs Enforcement Division

  • Nominated by: Coruscantfan (Talk) 16:44, February 19, 2013 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Project CSF

(5 ACs/1 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. ACvote IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 00:54, February 20, 2013 (UTC)
  2. Nice.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 01:38, February 20, 2013 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 14:29, February 21, 2013 (UTC)
  4. ACvote CC7567 (talk) 05:47, February 23, 2013 (UTC)
  5. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 12:27, February 24, 2013 (UTC)
  6. ACvote JangFett (Talk) 21:30, February 24, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Attack of the Clone
  • The Cold War era should be the first thing mentioned in the History section to give it a general timeframe.
    • Done.
  • Please split up the second History paragraph somewhere; it's rather long. CC7567 (talk) 22:28, February 22, 2013 (UTC)
    • Done.
  • Since the Customs Enforcement Division existed in 3,643 BBY, it should be reasonable to list in the infobox's "founded" field something like "By 3,643 BBY." CC7567 (talk) 22:30, February 22, 2013 (UTC)
  • Please provide some context on the Cold War in the History. That would also give you an opportunity to mention the Republic, which is the division's overall affiliation. CC7567 (talk) 01:51, February 23, 2013 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • The way the article introduces this droid as "the Customs Droid" makes it seem as if we've already been introduced to this specific character, when we've only been introduced to Customs Droids in general. Try rewording this to say something like "The Customs Droid on duty...": "The Customs Droid noticed an error..."
    • Done.
  • Additionally, the last three sentences of that same paragraph all begin the exact same way. See if you reword one of them to mix it up a little bit.
    • Done.
  • What is "his mission" here? The article doesn't really ever state: "In 3,640 BBY, Republic Strategic Information Service Agent Theron Shan sent the smuggler Teff'ith to Coruscant to give vital information about his mission to Supreme Commander Jace Malcom"
    • Added link. I didn't want to go into too much detail on this since it gets very complicated. I figured a brief sentence would be enough to give context for Teff'ith entering Coruscant.
      • Ok, if I'm understanding what you're saying here correctly, I've added "there" after "mission" to help give this a little bit more clarification. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 12:27, February 24, 2013 (UTC)
  • This is a dangling modifier. It's literally saying the partner demanded that the partner leave the office. Try to reword: "Demanding he exit the spaceport office, the partner retreated" Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 08:50, February 23, 2013 (UTC)
    • Done. Coruscantfan (Talk) 18:47, February 23, 2013 (UTC)
      • As a reviewing note, I've removed the mentions of "Grand Master" Shan in a few places, as I had in my original review. It's not necessary to keep repeating an individual's title over and over again upon subsequent mentions, just like we wouldn't keep referring to them by their full name each time. Introducing them by full title and name upon first mention suffices. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 12:27, February 24, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 21:30, February 24, 2013 (UTC)