- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.
Comet (clone trooper)
- Nominated by: -501st Dogma
(Comlink) 22:43, January 28, 2012 (UTC) - Nomination comments:
(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support
Object
Jangston
First off, I see many issues with the article. At the moment, the article seems to be nowhere near good article standards. Besides grammatical errors, your source list is far from complete, infobox isn't reloaded, lack of quotes (IIRC, he spoke a few times), lack of references and speculation in various places, poor linking in certain places, and your behind the scenes needs to be reorganized (something that you should worry about later on). Right now, you must take care of the sources and thoroughly check the article for any grammatical issues, as well as following GAN rules 1 and 9. Because of the issues that are present in the article, I cannot give it an in-depth review yet. Please see what you can do to correct these problems. Not really an objection, but you could also obtain new images for the article as well. The intro needs to be proportioned to the body of the article as well. JangFett (Talk) 23:03, January 28, 2012 (UTC)- Thanks for looking it over. I've already started to add more sources but I will not be able to accomplish much before I leave.---501st Dogma(Comlink) 00:00, January 29, 2012 (UTC)
- I think I can source the first sentence of P&T to Padawan lost too. This is becasue Comet's appearence in that episode proved that fact I think.---501st Dogma(Comlink) 01:26, January 29, 2012 (UTC)
- Be sure to check all episode guides, including the old, TCW kid magazines, TCW UK kid magazines, sourcebooks, such as the UK Season 1 & 2 guide. Also, "As a corporal, Comet was an effective soldier who knew what to do if a problem arouse." Sounds very OR sounding/viewer-poi. Unless a source states that he was an effective soldier, however. JangFett (Talk) 04:28, January 29, 2012 (UTC)
- How do you think I should word it instead? Also, I have revamped the Vanqor section and was wondering if you could see if that section was good article quality. Thanks,---501st Dogma
(Comlink) 20:54, February 4, 2012 (UTC)
- Anything that avoids speculative terms. However, if you can't find a source for that, it's best to leave it out then. Also, in addition to the source list, the entire article needs a thorough copy-edit. Make sure that you follow all of our policies, including the Manual of Style. I'm seeing a lot of linking and grammatical issues still. JangFett (Talk) 21:02, February 5, 2012 (UTC)
- Quotes added. I will reword the P&T section soon, but I am done for today.---501st Dogma(Comlink) 22:35, February 5, 2012 (UTC)
- As I went through the article to focus on Comet, I checked over grammar and spelling a little. Is it any better than before?--501st Dogma(Comlink) 00:11, February 13, 2012 (UTC)
- Also, is the POV better?--501st Dogma(Comlink) 21:01, February 13, 2012 (UTC)
- While the pov is adequate now, please go back and see what you can do about cutting down information that doesn't pertain to Comet. There isn't much but there is information that could be shortened. Also, as I mentioned before, please check the sources, your grammar and linking. Thoroughly check the entire article before I can continue my review. JangFett (Talk) 00:19, February 14, 2012 (UTC)
- Also could you also find a head quote that better describes who he is? JangFett (Talk) 01:23, February 16, 2012 (UTC)
- Hmmm, that might be difficult, but I'll see what I can do.--501st Dogma(Comlink) 23:46, February 16, 2012 (UTC)
- Should I cut the first sentence of the P&T out, because there is not much P&T content to be put in that section.--501st Dogma(Comlink) 00:09, February 17, 2012 (UTC)
- If you cannot find a source that says he was an experienced trooper, then yes, it needs to be removed. The compliment/"good job" from Anakin can stay, since it was from an episode. JangFett (Talk) 16:34, February 17, 2012 (UTC)
- Ok, I've reworded the section and removed the speculation. 501st Dogma(Comlink) 17:10, February 17, 2012 (UTC)
- Good work. Please take care of the other issues in the article as well. Also, do not say "snowtrooper" as a way to describe his cold gear. You can shorten the correct title, but calling him a snowtrooper is speculation/OR as well. See my edits as well. You were speculating in certain instances in the P&T and equipment sections. JangFett (Talk) 20:08, February 17, 2012 (UTC)
- I've reloaded the info box, looked for sources and gone over and done a couple copyedits. One more copyedit should fix the remainder of the grammar and spelling errors. 501st Dogma(Comlink) 20:38, February 17, 2012 (UTC)
- The head quote as well. Also, is there any available quotes for the body? The comic, for instance. It's been a while since I've looked at it. JangFett (Talk) 20:46, February 17, 2012 (UTC)
- I don't currently have the comic, but I plan to get it soon. I expect it will have a few usable quotes. 501st Dogma(Comlink) 20:50, February 17, 2012 (UTC)
- You have to be sure that all details about Comet are within that section. I have the comic if you need a quote, but be sure to get it for yourself. Not sure how the information is in there, unless someone gave you the comic information. If you used pre-nominated material, I would advice you to get the comic just to be sure. Using old work that wasn't yours isn't the way to go. JangFett (Talk) 21:12, February 17, 2012 (UTC)
- Thanks for the Quotes! However, I'll probally still purchase the comic to make sure my Khorm information is correct and see if there is anything more about Comet (maybe some more for the P&T section hopefully) because I aquired The Khorm materiel from the article on the Battle of Khorm. I've placed the second quote first becasue I think it portrays his personality better, though I'll have to change it if it actually is Spitter. 501st Dogma(Comlink) 13:17, February 18, 2012 (UTC)
- I've aquired the book and it looks like the current headerquote is actually from Spitter (Spitter's the one who is hotwiring the control panel). I managed to find a replacement, and am wondering if it is ok. 501st Dogma(Comlink) 21:07, February 18, 2012 (UTC)
- I am wondering if you can help me solve a dilemma about Comet's company during Khorm. During the battle of khorm, he wears devil dog armour. Does that mean he is transferred from the 44th to the 104th after the battle? Also, Comet could not have been part of wolfpack during khorm becasue their were only three survivors; Wolffe, boost and sinker. Should I state in the article that he was transfered from devil dogs to wolfpack becasue wolfpack was in need of troops due to their loss at the battle of abregado, or is this speculation becasue there is no source to prove it? 501st Dogma(Comlink) 13:33, February 19, 2012 (UTC)
- I've addressed all the issues in the article that you have stated so far. Once we've solved comet's company issue during the battle of khorm, you should be able to go and do your extensive check over. 501st Dogma(Comlink) 20:28, February 20, 2012 (UTC)
- I've addressed all the issues in the article that you have stated so far. Once we've solved comet's company issue during the battle of khorm, you should be able to go and do your extensive check over. 501st Dogma
- I am wondering if you can help me solve a dilemma about Comet's company during Khorm. During the battle of khorm, he wears devil dog armour. Does that mean he is transferred from the 44th to the 104th after the battle? Also, Comet could not have been part of wolfpack during khorm becasue their were only three survivors; Wolffe, boost and sinker. Should I state in the article that he was transfered from devil dogs to wolfpack becasue wolfpack was in need of troops due to their loss at the battle of abregado, or is this speculation becasue there is no source to prove it? 501st Dogma
- I've aquired the book and it looks like the current headerquote is actually from Spitter (Spitter's the one who is hotwiring the control panel). I managed to find a replacement, and am wondering if it is ok. 501st Dogma
- Thanks for the Quotes! However, I'll probally still purchase the comic to make sure my Khorm information is correct and see if there is anything more about Comet (maybe some more for the P&T section hopefully) because I aquired The Khorm materiel from the article on the Battle of Khorm. I've placed the second quote first becasue I think it portrays his personality better, though I'll have to change it if it actually is Spitter. 501st Dogma
- You have to be sure that all details about Comet are within that section. I have the comic if you need a quote, but be sure to get it for yourself. Not sure how the information is in there, unless someone gave you the comic information. If you used pre-nominated material, I would advice you to get the comic just to be sure. Using old work that wasn't yours isn't the way to go. JangFett (Talk) 21:12, February 17, 2012 (UTC)
- I don't currently have the comic, but I plan to get it soon. I expect it will have a few usable quotes. 501st Dogma
- The head quote as well. Also, is there any available quotes for the body? The comic, for instance. It's been a while since I've looked at it. JangFett (Talk) 20:46, February 17, 2012 (UTC)
- I've reloaded the info box, looked for sources and gone over and done a couple copyedits. One more copyedit should fix the remainder of the grammar and spelling errors. 501st Dogma
- Good work. Please take care of the other issues in the article as well. Also, do not say "snowtrooper" as a way to describe his cold gear. You can shorten the correct title, but calling him a snowtrooper is speculation/OR as well. See my edits as well. You were speculating in certain instances in the P&T and equipment sections. JangFett (Talk) 20:08, February 17, 2012 (UTC)
- Ok, I've reworded the section and removed the speculation. 501st Dogma
- If you cannot find a source that says he was an experienced trooper, then yes, it needs to be removed. The compliment/"good job" from Anakin can stay, since it was from an episode. JangFett (Talk) 16:34, February 17, 2012 (UTC)
- Should I cut the first sentence of the P&T out, because there is not much P&T content to be put in that section.--501st Dogma
- Hmmm, that might be difficult, but I'll see what I can do.--501st Dogma
- Also could you also find a head quote that better describes who he is? JangFett (Talk) 01:23, February 16, 2012 (UTC)
- While the pov is adequate now, please go back and see what you can do about cutting down information that doesn't pertain to Comet. There isn't much but there is information that could be shortened. Also, as I mentioned before, please check the sources, your grammar and linking. Thoroughly check the entire article before I can continue my review. JangFett (Talk) 00:19, February 14, 2012 (UTC)
- Also, is the POV better?--501st Dogma
- As I went through the article to focus on Comet, I checked over grammar and spelling a little. Is it any better than before?--501st Dogma
- Quotes added. I will reword the P&T section soon, but I am done for today.---501st Dogma
- Anything that avoids speculative terms. However, if you can't find a source for that, it's best to leave it out then. Also, in addition to the source list, the entire article needs a thorough copy-edit. Make sure that you follow all of our policies, including the Manual of Style. I'm seeing a lot of linking and grammatical issues still. JangFett (Talk) 21:02, February 5, 2012 (UTC)
- How do you think I should word it instead? Also, I have revamped the Vanqor section and was wondering if you could see if that section was good article quality. Thanks,---501st Dogma
- Be sure to check all episode guides, including the old, TCW kid magazines, TCW UK kid magazines, sourcebooks, such as the UK Season 1 & 2 guide. Also, "As a corporal, Comet was an effective soldier who knew what to do if a problem arouse." Sounds very OR sounding/viewer-poi. Unless a source states that he was an effective soldier, however. JangFett (Talk) 04:28, January 29, 2012 (UTC)
- I think I can source the first sentence of P&T to Padawan lost too. This is becasue Comet's appearence in that episode proved that fact I think.---501st Dogma
- Thanks for looking it over. I've already started to add more sources but I will not be able to accomplish much before I leave.---501st Dogma
Reload your infobox- Better? 501st Dogma(Comlink) 01:05, February 22, 2012 (UTC)
- Better? 501st Dogma
If there's more than two speakers, and in this case there is for the main quote, please use the {{Dialogue}} template.- Changed to dialogue 501st Dogma(Comlink) 01:05, February 22, 2012 (UTC)
- Changed to dialogue 501st Dogma
- "where he fought against Separatist droid forces under the command of Khormai Warlord Unger Gout and Dark Acolyte Asajj Ventress to secure the planet's Agrocite deposits." It sounds like Comet served under Gout and Ventress.
- Fixed 501st Dogma(Comlink) 01:05, February 22, 2012 (UTC)
- Now it sounds like the droid forces fought against Gout and Ventress.
- Changed. Sorry, I thought i fixed this and said so but apparently I didn't. 501st Dogma(Comlink) 21:08, March 30, 2012 (UTC)
- Changed. Sorry, I thought i fixed this and said so but apparently I didn't. 501st Dogma
- Now it sounds like the droid forces fought against Gout and Ventress.
- Fixed 501st Dogma
JangFett (Talk) 02:36, February 29, 2012 (UTC)
I'm noticing issues with linking in the intro alone at the moment. Please go back and take a look at your linking, as well as linking items that haven't been linked before. Who is this Wolffe? He wasn't linked or mentioned before his first mention. Not only this, I believe we talked about the other linking issue I've noticed in your talk page. Please see what you can do to fix these issues.- Fixed linking issues in intro and added link to CC-3636. I'll check over my linking issues as I addrress your objections. 501st Dogma(Comlink) 01:05, February 22, 2012 (UTC)
- Fixed linking issues in intro and added link to CC-3636. I'll check over my linking issues as I addrress your objections. 501st Dogma
In addition to the linking problems above, whenever you pipelink something, please have the link you're linking to be in uppercase. As an example from the article's intro: [[slicer|hotwiring]] should be [[Slicer|hotwiring]]. (bold to help you identify the issue.)- Ok, I'll make sure to do that from now on. 501st Dogma(Comlink) 23:48, February 22, 2012 (UTC)
- Ok, I'll make sure to do that from now on. 501st Dogma
- Context for Endurance
- Added 501st Dogma(Comlink) 01:05, February 22, 2012 (UTC)
- Added 501st Dogma
", and it was during this strike that Comet served under Padawan Tano." You can mentioned that he served under her eariler.- Fixed, or does that sound to much like Tano was leading all of the troops on Felucia?501st Dogma(Comlink) 01:05, February 22, 2012 (UTC)
- I changed it again so it doesn't sound like Tano was in charge. 501st Dogma(Comlink) 23:48, February 22, 2012 (UTC)
- Now it sounds like she was leading the whole thing. You can mention Skywalker and Plo Koon with Ahsoka. JangFett (Talk) 02:36, February 29, 2012 (UTC)
- Better? 501st Dogma(Comlink) 15:50, February 29, 2012 (UTC)
- Better? 501st Dogma
- Now it sounds like she was leading the whole thing. You can mention Skywalker and Plo Koon with Ahsoka. JangFett (Talk) 02:36, February 29, 2012 (UTC)
- I changed it again so it doesn't sound like Tano was in charge. 501st Dogma
- Fixed, or does that sound to much like Tano was leading all of the troops on Felucia?501st Dogma
Please see what you can do to integrate that brief information about Comet within the first section of his biography. Though it's not part of the Battle of Khorm, it's still does not have enough information to have its own section.- Better? 501st Dogma(Comlink) 23:48, February 22, 2012 (UTC)
- Better? 501st Dogma
Even though I took care of this, you don't need to say "he was a Human male clone trooper" since all clone troopers are Human male. It's redundant to repeat this type of information.- Ok, thanks for changing it. 501st Dogma(Comlink) 23:48, February 22, 2012 (UTC)
- Ok, thanks for changing it. 501st Dogma
"As the Clone Wars broke out in 22 BBY, Comet, along with other clone troopers of the GAR, fought against the Confederacy of Independent Systems as they defended the Republic." I don't remember if it was even confirmed if Comet fought after the Clone Wars "broke out" in 22 BBY. I would keep only information we know and not explorate information we don't know, such as his battle history. Unless it's confirmed that he served as far as early in 22 BBY, it is speculation to assume otherwise.- Changed 501st Dogma(Comlink) 23:48, February 22, 2012 (UTC)
- Changed 501st Dogma
Fact tag in the Battle of Khorm section- Sharp states in the novel "I've seen far worse than this, and the war has been raging a year." I can leave that fact sourced to the first ISOTR, since he says this during that comic, right?. 501st Dogma(Comlink) 23:48, February 22, 2012 (UTC)
- You can source it to both the comic and SW Annual 2011. JangFett (Talk) 02:36, February 29, 2012 (UTC)
- Sourced to SW annual 2011 501st Dogma(Comlink) 15:50, February 29, 2012 (UTC)
- Sourced to SW annual 2011 501st Dogma
- You can source it to both the comic and SW Annual 2011. JangFett (Talk) 02:36, February 29, 2012 (UTC)
- Sharp states in the novel "I've seen far worse than this, and the war has been raging a year." I can leave that fact sourced to the first ISOTR, since he says this during that comic, right?. 501st Dogma
- That's all for now. Please see what you can do to thoroughly check the entire article for linking issues and make sure all the information is ready to go. JangFett (Talk) 20:08, February 21, 2012 (UTC)
- All info is ready to go. 501st Dogma(Comlink) 21:18, March 2, 2012 (UTC)
- All info is ready to go. 501st Dogma
Talrrivanian
Like Jang, I believe this is not GA quality. Consider doing a extensive grammmer/spelling check.With all his missions, the focus seems to be more on the mission then on Comet, since this is Comet's aricle, the focus should be mainly on him, not the mission.- I know. However, Comet is seen very little in the missions and does not play a huge role, so I just pretty much did an over view of the mission. If its ok With both you and Jang, I'll cut a bunch out to focus on Comet, but I'll wait for you to reply before I do it.--501st Dogma(Comlink) 21:06, February 8, 2012 (UTC)
- The POV should stay on Comet and not on the mission. You have to treat the article as if you're following Comet, if that makes sense, since it's his article, not the battle article in which Comet participated in. So what you should do is go through the entire article and see where Comet was in and was not in. If he took part of the mission alongside others, then you could say "Comet and ...." or something along those lines. JangFett (Talk) 21:10, February 8, 2012 (UTC)
- Ok, I'll start butchering the article's POV into submission soon.--501st Dogma(Comlink) 21:22, February 8, 2012 (UTC)
- Like Jang said.
- I've gone through and refocused on Comet. I was wondering if you could look it over and see if the article was any better.--501st Dogma(Comlink) 00:11, February 13, 2012 (UTC)
- Seems good to me. Find someone elses opinion to make sure and go through the article again to make sure u didn't mess anything up when u rewrote it.
- I've gone through and refocused on Comet. I was wondering if you could look it over and see if the article was any better.--501st Dogma
- Like Jang said.
- Ok, I'll start butchering the article's POV into submission soon.--501st Dogma
- The POV should stay on Comet and not on the mission. You have to treat the article as if you're following Comet, if that makes sense, since it's his article, not the battle article in which Comet participated in. So what you should do is go through the entire article and see where Comet was in and was not in. If he took part of the mission alongside others, then you could say "Comet and ...." or something along those lines. JangFett (Talk) 21:10, February 8, 2012 (UTC)
- I know. However, Comet is seen very little in the missions and does not play a huge role, so I just pretty much did an over view of the mission. If its ok With both you and Jang, I'll cut a bunch out to focus on Comet, but I'll wait for you to reply before I do it.--501st Dogma
- All for now, prob more later.--Talrrivanian (Headquarters) 13:21, February 8, 2012 (UTC)
Lee's charge
Intro: Maybe a mention about the outcome of the Battle of Khorm?- I've added it to both the intro and body if thats OK. 501st Dogma(Comlink) 12:17, March 31, 2012 (UTC)
- I've added it to both the intro and body if thats OK. 501st Dogma
Early service: As a clone trooper, Comet was a clone of the Mandalorian bounty hunter Jango Fett, born on the planet Kamino.: Could you find a synonym for the clone, like identic copy or something?- Done. 501st Dogma(Comlink) 12:17, March 31, 2012 (UTC)
- Done. 501st Dogma
Early service: Source the first paragraph.- Done. Sorry about that. 501st Dogma(Comlink) 12:17, March 31, 2012 (UTC)
- Done. Sorry about that. 501st Dogma
- More to come. Clone Commander Lee Talk 08:30, March 31, 2012 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review. 501st Dogma(Comlink) 12:17, March 31, 2012 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review. 501st Dogma
Comments
- I will not be able to edit from Jan 29 to Feb 4 due to a school trip, so I will address all objections when I get back---501st Dogma(Comlink) 22:43, January 28, 2012 (UTC)
- I will not be able to edit from March 17 - 24, so I will address all objections later. 501st Dogma(Comlink) 18:41, March 16, 2012 (UTC)
- I will not be able to edit from March 17 - 24, so I will address all objections later. 501st Dogma
- At my count, the article currently has 2,147 words. JangFett (Talk) 20:21, February 17, 2012 (UTC)
- An idea for you, Dogma: Why not bring this article to the FAN page? You seem very enthusiastic about nominating GANs, and bringing this guy to the FAN page will help reduce your GAN load and will more quickly allow you to nominate new GANs after your current ones pass (probably best try to keep the amount of noms on the page to four in the future, per the rules above). It will also be great experience for you in writing Featured Articles. Since this guy is over 2,000 words anyway, why not? Just an idea. Menkooroo 04:56, May 14, 2012 (UTC)