Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Charpp

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Charpp

  • Nominated by: ToRsO bOy 05:16, October 26, 2011 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Act natural. Just tell me what you need me to do. I can help. Happy to help. Risk no object.

(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. ACvote Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 09:50, October 27, 2011 (UTC)
  2. Nice to see a CW novel character. Clone Commander Lee Talk 13:50, October 27, 2011 (UTC)
  3. Good work! ~SavageBOB sig 22:12, November 1, 2011 (UTC)
  4. ACvote Nice job. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:27, December 12, 2011 (UTC)
  5. Happened to see this on last night's recent changes. Hanzo Hasashi 14:45, December 12, 2011 (UTC)
  6. ACvote 1358 (Talk) 20:12, December 15, 2011 (UTC)

Object

Cav
  • Thirty months after the Battle of Geonosis, the battle that started the great conflict known as the Clone Wars, which was fought between the Confederacy of Independent Systems and the Galactic Republic, Charpp was stationed at security point eleven of the spaceport when he chanced upon Jedi Master Maks Leem. This is a run-on sentence, and is a bit choppy to read. Consider breaking it down a little.
    • Edited.
  • Also, I removed the entry in the BTS about him not appearing in the CSWE. If he didn't appear, he didn't appear; there's no need to note it. - Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 13:04, October 26, 2011 (UTC)
    • Noted. Thanks for the review. ToRsO bOy 13:14, October 26, 2011 (UTC)
  • Possible mention that he like the play "Jedi" and he visited it many times. At least for the P&T it would be interesting. Clone Commander Lee Talk 18:14, October 26, 2011 (UTC)
    • Now that you mentioned it, the quote "Tell me about it. You know how many times I've seen Jedi!? Fifteen. Fifteen times. And I'm going with my nephew next week." now makes a lot more sense. Forgot there was a play called Jedi! Anyway, its been added. ToRsO bOy 20:22, October 26, 2011 (UTC)
Prepare to be savaged
  • Can you add a bit of context as to when he was a man of middle age? Presumably not his whole life... ~SavageBOB sig 03:01, October 29, 2011 (UTC)
    • Couldn't find a way to explain his middle age without restructuring two paragraphs. I changed the description instead. Hope that works. ToRsO bOy 14:47, November 1, 2011 (UTC)
      • The description still seems kind of timeless, as if he always had graying hair. Would it be OK to just add, "By the time of the lead up to the Battle of Geonosis, he was a man of middle age" or something? ~SavageBOB sig 17:43, November 1, 2011 (UTC)
        • Tweaked. ToRsO bOy 21:03, November 1, 2011 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • Intro objections first. I've left a redlink in the first sentence for the character's occupation. Please fill it in.
    • Done. Will finish the rest this weekend. Thanks for the review. ToRsO bOy 01:12, November 19, 2011 (UTC)
  • This is unclear and confusing. What does it mean that she was "routed there for inspection"? A clearer explanation is needed here: "As Jedi Master Maks Leem was routed there for inspection"
    • Done. ToRsO bOy 07:31, November 25, 2011 (UTC)
  • Likewise, some sort of context is needed for clearer understanding of what this "mission" is and how it relates to the events being described here. The actual mission itself doesn't need to be explained, but the text needs to explain, for example, is she departing Coruscant and passing through a security inspection to go on a mission? "...and offered her his help on her mission." Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:41, November 10, 2011 (UTC)
    • Done. ToRsO bOy 07:31, November 25, 2011 (UTC)
  • Does the source literally use four dots in the Biography quote as the ellipsis? If not, we should be using the ellipsis code. I can add it in for you if so.
    • Yes it does. ToRsO bOy 16:47, December 9, 2011 (UTC)
  • Is it really necessary to list all of Maks Leem's many Jedi companions on her mission? Do they get in line with her at Charpp's station and/or interact with him in anyway? If not, I would recommend just cutting all of that out. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:37, December 8, 2011 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 20:12, December 15, 2011 (UTC)


  • Is mentioning his species and age really necessary in personality and traits? With the species, not only does that fail to apply to either, but it's also already mentioned in the bio. Hanzo Hasashi 05:32, December 12, 2011 (UTC)
    • As long as the species is mentioned elsewhere, it's cool to not mention it in P&T. But ideally, age should be there, but it should have some descriptor of when he was middle-aged (presumably not for his entire life). ~SavageBOB sig 14:17, December 12, 2011 (UTC)
      • Thanks for the correction guys.--ToRsO bOy 15:54, December 12, 2011 (UTC)

Vote to remove nomination (AC only)

  1. ACvote Idle objections. 1358 (Talk) 13:15, November 24, 2011 (UTC)