Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Celeste Morne

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Celeste Morne

(+8)

Support

  1. Nominated ajeanette 20 May 2008
  2. Darth Xadún(Consult the Holocron) 19:27, 21 May 2008 (UTC)
  3. Goodwood Redstarbird (Alliance Intelligence) 04:05, 22 May 2008 (UTC)
  4. Drewton 02:15, 24 May 2008 (UTC)
  5. Jedi Kasra 06:09, 26 May 2008 (UTC)
  6. I hope to see more from you, Ajeanette. It should get easier from here.—Tommy(There are no Jedi here) 16:25, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
    • Thanks for all your help! I will do my best to preserve the good quality of this article and continue to make any improvements. I have some free time this summer to continue to make contributions, although I think I will choose a simpler article for my next project. Ajeanette 12 June 2008
  7. Ifindyourlackoffaithdisturbing Imperial Emblem (Talking is Fun!) 4:05, 15 June 2008 (UTC)
  8. NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 00:29, 30 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

  1. Toprawa:
    • Not bad, but pretty rough around the edges. Here are the things I notice without even reading the article:
    • Intro should be expanded
      • I added a few more details about her background and the situation she encountered. ajeanette 22 May 2008
    • These one sentence sections are not good. They need to be either expanded or condensed into other sections. They look especially bad considering your one section is six paragraphs long. There's just no presentation feel to the article. Sectioning needs major work.
      • The second and third sections still need work. Six paragraphs in a single section of an article this size is a overdone, and the little bit about her emergence from stasis still doesn't warrant its own section, at least not the bit amount allotted. Better section division, please. Toprawa and Ralltiir
    • Your last section title is not exactly encyclopedic.
    • We don't capitalize "Galaxy" anymore.
    • Please don't put spaces in between punctuation and referencing. A minor issue, but a formatting issue nonetheless.
    • Your images should alternate from right to left down the sides of the page, which they do not.
    • If you handle these, there will be a more detailed Round 2. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:46, 22 May 2008 (UTC)
      • Ajeanette, a nominator must never strike objections for someone else. That is left up to the reviewer only when they are satisfied their concerns have been handled. Please do not do that again. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:35, 27 May 2008 (UTC)
    • Article is still not completely sourced. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:31, 29 June 2008 (UTC)
    • The article is still in dire need of a quality copy-edit. Please go through and make sure you keep a sharp eye out for misspellings, over-linking, and minor MOS errors, such as the "Galaxy" deal. I'm still seeing little problems like this throughout. Toprawa and Ralltiir 15:21, 29 June 2008 (UTC)
      • I read the policy on Manual of Style and made changes. Ajeanette 29 June 2008
  2. The Anvil:
    • With all the images that have popped up for this chick, the profile shot just isn't a good one for the main image. One in particular sticks out as being more appropriate (File:Celeste KOTORcover.jpg)...
    • That being said, your image layout could use some work. Try not to have the images on the left displacing the section titles, and make sure that the three images you have placed in the article are evenly spaced, so as not to appear cluttered in one area or another.
    • In the intro, you say: "Celeste Morne was a female Human Jedi Knight who served the Jedi Covenant as a Shadow, an agent whose records of their existence had been erased and were known only to a few of the Covenant's members." Clunky prose, should be reworded.
    • (In the intro) You go on to say, "Her losses from the Great Sith War channeled her dedication to the cause of the Covenant to stop the Sith from rising again." Her involvement in the GSW must have been significant enough for a brief mention. And, what did the War cause her to lose?
    • (Intro still) "In 3,963 BBY the Covenant assigned her a mission to retrieve an ancient Sith artifact known as the Muur Talisman and kill Zayne Carrick, the Jedi Padawan fugitive." Please reword.
    • (Intro still) "However, in the course this mission she doubted Zayne's criminal charges and faced off against the rampant Rakghoul plague, caused by the Muur Talisman, infecting the Mandalorian invasion force on Jebble." You make it sound as though she fought the plague. It sounds to me more like she encountered it.
    • (Intro still) "In the course of her struggle to complete her far more complicated mission and dealing with her own doubts about Carrick, Celeste fell under the possession of the Muur Talisman." Clunky prose, should be reworded.
    • Early career section: You start by saying, "After the destruction of Ossus, Celeste's family became homeless and wandered the Galaxy for years until they fell apart". I feel like I was just dropped head-first into the story. I think that each of the things mentioned in this sentence could be fleshed out, ie: the destruction of Ossus, what about it caused her family to become homeless, why they fell apart.
    • Next sentence, "However, Celeste found herself a new family in the Covenant as a secret agent devoted to stopping the rise of the Sith in the galaxy again." Who is this Covenant you speak of? If the rise of the Sith needs to be stopped again, what happened with them the first time that makes them doing it again so significant?
    • Same section, please explain who Lucien Draay & Zayne Carrick are, and why did Draay want him captured.
    • Same sentence: "Around 3,963 BBY Lucien Draay contacted her and gave her the task of eliminating Zayne Carrick, before the Covenant feared he would become a Sith, and finding the Muur Talisman on Taris." Please reword this, probably breaking it up somehow. You've got three separate topics in this one sentence.
    • Next paragraph. What are rakghouls?
    • Too many semicolons there.
    • "The Muur Talisman" section. First, I think a better section title is warranted, maybe something like "The Quest for..."
    • Same section. Who is Pulsipher? Like the rakghouls above, this needs to be briefly explained.
    • You've got the phrase "on board" in there just too many times.
    • Ship names are always italicized.
    • What is the "War forge"? It should be explained at its first mention.
    • Same section, you say, "However, Gryph accidentally discharged his weapon causing a cave-in, which caused Celeste to lose her lightsaber and alerted the Mandalorians from the Mar'eyce to their presence. Before Celeste and Zayne could be taken hostage, one of the guards transformed into a Rakghoul, dropping Celeste’s lightsaber in the process and forcing the other guards to fire on their former comrade." How did the guard acquire her lightsaber after she dropped it?
    • Same section: You say, "When Zayne went off in search of Gryph, she followed, cutting down the Rakghouls that she encountered." Where did Gryph go? I thought he was still with them.
    • In the "Emerge from stasis" section, you say, "However, Celeste was not dead but still in stasis inside the apparently impregnable oubliette, where she remained for almost 3,950 years until around 19 BBY." Reword please, as apparently is POVish.
    • Same section. You've switched tenses a couple of times. Please fix.
    • BTS could be expanded alot.
      • I searched around sites and blogs, but have yet to find much worth mentioning. I had problems finding reference for the point which states that "Celeste" and "Morne" appear in the random name generator in Knights of the Old Republic Sith Lords, so for now I just used the game as a reference. Ajeanette 10 June 2008
    • This girl has quotes up the yin-yang on the QOTD, yet only two for the article? Surely you can do better!
    • Don't mind the "surely you can do better" thing, It's just a sweet Dooku line that I thought kinda fit the situation. You've done a splendid job thus far. Also, Ajeanette, dont be discouraged by what seems to be a long list. I was there before, and it helped me tremendously. If any of the objects are giving you a problem rectifying, I'll be more than happy to help you, because that's what we're about. Just ask if so ;)—Tommy(There are no Jedi here) 03:11, 30 May 2008 (UTC)
      • Tommy, what you said I have found to be true and I am glad to go through this process and learn how wookiepedia constructs good articles. I was a bit overwhelmed by your list, but I understand the importance of addressing these points that I am thankful you brought them up. I am in the process of correcting each one and I appreciate all the help I have received from other editors that have improved Celeste Morne. The only point I might bring up is that finding more information for "Behind the Scenes" may take more time for me. ajeanette 30 May 2008
        • Hey thats cool, it was that way for me too. Don't stress too much about the BTS. KOTOR isn't really my timeframe, so I don't have/know much about Celeste. I'm sure you'll be able to work it out. I'll see what I can add, if anything. Take your time, my very 1st nom sat here for a month before the wheels started turning. When this one finally passes, you'll have stepped your game up;)—Tommy(There are no Jedi here) 17:11, 1 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments

  • I've fixed all of the spelling mistakes. Drewton 02:15, 24 May 2008 (UTC)