Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Camur

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Camur

(3 ACs/4 Users/7 Total)

Support

  1. Nice work. Supreme Emperor (talk) 03:20, July 3, 2013 (UTC)
  2. Apologise for the delay! Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:00, July 15, 2013 (UTC)
  3. 501st dogma(talk) 11:56, July 18, 2013 (UTC)
  4. ACvote Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 14:11, August 12, 2013 (UTC)
  5. Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 22:26, August 13, 2013 (UTC)
  6. ACvote IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 03:07, August 15, 2013 (UTC)
  7. ACvote grunny@wookieepedia:~$ 09:04, August 17, 2013 (UTC)

Object

SE
  • Intro
    • Can you add in a date for the war in the first line?
      • Added.
    • In the second sentence, can you mention that Kalandis Seven is a planet?
      • Also added.
    • "Along the way to their objective Camur and the squad were attacked" Attacked by who? Supreme Emperor (talk) 03:18, June 30, 2013 (UTC)
      • I assume by the Imperials however the short story starts after the attack and doesn't say who they were attacked by. DarthRevan1173 Revan Headshot (Long live Lord Revan) 03:29, June 30, 2013 (UTC)
    • Is the Battle of Kalandis Seven a confirmed title or is it conjecture?
      • Conjecture as it's never confirmed in the short story nor The Essential Reader's Companion.
        • If it's conjecture, the second sentence should be reworded a bit to say something like "During a battle on the Inner Rim planet Kalandis Seven. Likewise with the first paragraph of the bio. Supreme Emperor (talk) 03:14, July 1, 2013 (UTC)
  • Biography
    • Can you add a date for the war in the first sentence?
      • Added.
    • Can you add a mention of Kalandis Seven being a planet?
      • Also added.
    • "Three hours later Camur and the squad reached their objective and checked in" Checked in with who?
      • Specified.
    • You say Malcom went on to capture the Planetary command ship, but later say he failed to capture it. Can you reword this? Otherwise, nice work. Supreme Emperor (talk) 13:43, June 30, 2013 (UTC)
Ayrehead
  • If he appears as voice only presumably there's a quote that can be added? Ayrehead02 (talk) 08:14, June 30, 2013 (UTC)
    • The story only says Camur and other squad members check in after ordered to by Immel, it doesn't state what they said.
  • Can you add that Amden Vor Keioidian was also part of Immel's squad?Ayrehead02 (talk) 08:14, June 30, 2013 (UTC)
    • Added.
  • Mention in the Bts that species and gender aren't mentioned. Ayrehead02 (talk) 08:14, June 30, 2013 (UTC)
501st
  • To cut the intro down, take out mention of the attack, and the guy's death. 501st dogma(talk) 23:59, July 16, 2013 (UTC)
    • Removed.
  • "Shortly after, Malcom failed to capture the command ship and the spaceport was destroyed." This reads like because he failed to take out the ship, it destroyed the spaceport. 501st dogma(talk) 23:59, July 16, 2013 (UTC)
Cav
  • This objection, which I have just realized also applies to Yennir of the Green and Eron, is this - does the source specifically state that these three are officers? Because officers would never serve under a sergeant. They would outrank her. - Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 11:05, July 24, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 09:04, August 17, 2013 (UTC)