Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Blackwater Systems

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Blackwater Systems

  • Nominated by: Holocron Greatholocron (Complain) 13:58, February 26, 2011 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: My first CA was actually about 252 words when it passed, so I've rewritten it slightly and put it here.

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. Hanzo Hasashi 20:01, February 26, 2011 (UTC)
  2. The Black Vater Wirus! Yess-yes-yes-yessss. NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 02:43, March 1, 2011 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:27, March 4, 2011 (UTC)
  4. ACvote 1358 (Talk) 23:43, March 5, 2011 (UTC)
  5. ACvote Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 02:35, March 7, 2011 (UTC)

Object

Naru
  • Context on Teda's being deposed, primarily from where.
    • Done.
  • I think you could probably work in a Description section with that information on the worker conditions and the second History paragraph.
    • Added.
  • How did Omega destroy the plant? NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 23:26, February 27, 2011 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • First History paragraph needs to be sourced.
    • Done.
      • Remember that no space should be between the ending punctuation and the refnote itself. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:26, March 2, 2011 (UTC)
  • Can/should the significance of this Senate tunnel recreation be elaborated on any? For example, was the company secretly using this recreation for any specific sinister means that were evidently abandoned? "and a recreation of a section of the Senate Utility Tunnels, originally located under the Senate Building on the galactic capital Coruscant, which was in the wing of the facility."
    • Done.
      • Your basic change should be ok, but that whole sentence is now a pretty rough run-on. See if you can break it up any for ease of reading. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:26, March 2, 2011 (UTC)
        • Cut it in the only place that seemed to work. Holocron Greatholocron (Complain) 20:53, March 2, 2011 (UTC)
          • I cleaned the remainder up for grammar issues, so it should be good now. I confess, however, that I'm still somewhat confused as to the meaning and significance behind the following. Was Omega actually planning on exposing Coruscant's populace to the drug through these tunnels? Can we briefly clarify this at all? "which was being used to model the effectiveness of the drug if the original tunnels were used to distribute it through either the water or air" Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:39, March 2, 2011 (UTC)
            • I've noted that he planned to expose people on Coruscant to the drug, not just test it. Holocron Greatholocron (Complain) 11:19, March 3, 2011 (UTC)
              • Apologies for drawing this out still. Your change per this objection is perfect, no problems there. But I still feel like there's something lacking from the article. The way it reads seems like the plan to expose the drug to Coruscant was not a for-sure planned thing, but more of a hypothetical testing kind of thing. Can we explain perhaps a little bit earlier in the article at some point that part of the company's overall plan was to expose this drug to Coruscant? Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:30, March 3, 2011 (UTC)
  • Not an objection, but just a reminder that Wookieepedia utilizes American English spelling, so please watch out for that in articles.
    • I'm somewhat cautious about this, as I don't want to get too comfortable with American English (Australian/British English must be used here, as I'm a student), but I'll look for it when doing my pre-nomination copyedit. Holocron Greatholocron (Complain) 07:01, March 2, 2011 (UTC)
  • Nice job overall. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:30, March 2, 2011 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 02:35, March 7, 2011 (UTC)