- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.
Battle of the TIE Fighter Construction Facility
- Nominated by: DjMack
- Nomination comments: This would be my first real good article I wrote entirely by myself, just point out to me anything that needs fixing, I want to be criticized and become a better writer. SPOILERS FOR FORCE UNLEASHED, BEWARE.
(2 AC/2 users/4 total)
Support
- Good work. --Jedimca0(Do or Do Not, There is No Try) 11:02, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
:) Aqua Unasi 19:11, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
DC 21:17, 2 September 2008 (UTC)- Pranay Sobusk ~ Talk to me 15:03, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
Oppose
- From the post-it of DC
Indecisive victory? For who?You need an aftermath section for the battle.- This article was fantastic, DjMack, it was very well written. DC 18:09, 30 August 2008 (UTC)
- Aqua Unasi
- Great article. Very well written indeed. A few things:
You need an {{Eras}} tag.A few things are unsourced: The first paragraph of Prelude, The two paragraphs in the Aftermath section, and a few things in the infobox.- Also, I went in and changed these for you, but a thing to remember for future articles is to put a {{Goodnom}} tag on the article when nominating it. Also, don't forget to link to your references, and that they go immediately after punctuation, with no space between.
- I hope to see more articles from you in the future! :) Aqua Unasi 19:27, 30 August 2008 (UTC)
- One more thing - it looks like some things have been added into the infobox and aren't sourced. The thing about the hijacked AT-ST, the AT-ST in the casualties, and the outcome need referencing.
- Great article. Very well written indeed. A few things:
- Xadún's Dun Moch:
- Quotes?
- A few linking issues. Remember, once in the intro and the first appearence in the main body.
- Intro - "raised in the dark" makes it sound like Vader kept him in a small cupboard without light. Say he was was trained in the Dark Side and the Emperor knew nothing of him. that would be sufficient.
- Does the novel not give any specifics for the battle of duel? particular strikes, sequences of fighting etc would make the duel section far better.
- "He would spend his time in various bars, before Starkiller found him and asked for his help to gather the enemies of the Empire." Did Starkiller just want information or help to actually get the Rebels all in one place? what was this plan?
- Starkiller wanted to gather the enemies of the empire together. DjMack 02:23, 12 September 2008 (UTC)
- Does Starkiller execute a plan in the game? if so, a link to this battle please, even if it doesn't exist yet. Darth Xadún(Consult the Holocron) 08:25, 14 September 2008 (UTC)
- Starkiller wanted to gather the enemies of the empire together. DjMack 02:23, 12 September 2008 (UTC)
- Not bad. Nice to see somone working on Battle GA's. Darth Xadún(Consult the Holocron) 13:27, 10 September 2008 (UTC)
- Pranay Sobusk
In the introduction, you only tell about the prelude. You should write about the whole battle.I'd like to see a quote in the article.Kind regards, Pranay Sobusk ~ Talk to me 16:19, 1 October 2008 (UTC)
- Toprawa:
- Your BTS is really bare bones. You should detail the differences between the events in each version of TFU. Certainly there is much that happens in the game that doesn't happen in the novel. Explain what each version introduces, how anything contradicts with other versions, etc. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:33, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
- I kind of have my doubts that that's the only difference between all the multiple variations of the game/story. Please check every single video game version, since I know they're all somewhat different.
- Not everything in this article is even sourced yet. Toprawa and Ralltiir 16:50, 3 November 2008 (UTC)
- Your BTS is really bare bones. You should detail the differences between the events in each version of TFU. Certainly there is much that happens in the game that doesn't happen in the novel. Explain what each version introduces, how anything contradicts with other versions, etc. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:33, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
- From the sad vibe of IFYLOFD after a tough Dolphins loss:
"But, he quickly learned what happened to the rest of the Jedi Order, and vanished into the Outer Rim Territories." Specify what did happen to the rest of the Jedi Order.- I would suggest you call Starkiller Galen Marek throughout the article, as you state his actual name earlier in the article.
"Kota said in a rather cryptic manner that he could see the young man's future, and in it all he could see was himself, and that he would not always be Vader's servant." A bit of an awkward sentence, you use "and" twice. I suggest that you reword it.
Good work. IFYLOFD (And now, young Skywalker, you will die.) 21:18, 19 October 2008 (UTC)
Comments
- Oh, next time you nominate something that recently came out, just make sure to say that there are spoilers. DC 18:04, 30 August 2008 (UTC)
- I added everything. DjMack 01:47, 31 August 2008 (UTC)
Remove nomination (AgriCorps vote only)
Doesn't seem to be going anywhere. Graestan(Talk) 12:08, 12 October 2008 (UTC)
- Eh, this nom is active once again, so this removal vote is invalid now. DC 00:01, 17 October 2008 (UTC
I've been holding off, waiting for this thing to be handled, but the oldest unaddressed objections, Xadun's, have been sitting here since 9/14. Toprawa and Ralltiir 16:50, 3 November 2008 (UTC)
I was all for giving this nom a chance, but it still continues to sit since IFYLOFD's objections were fixed. DC 19:33, 4 November 2008 (UTC)