Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Battle of Hapes (Confederation-Galactic Alliance War)

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Battle of Hapes (Confederation-Galactic Alliance War)

(+3)

Support

  1. Darthchristian (Hey!) 21:01, 30 August 2007 (UTC)
  2. --Domlith 16:27, 6 September 2007 (UTC)
  3. --Harrar 19:04, 9 September 2007 (GMT)

Oppose

Comments

Since the article has been sitting a while, I figured I'd offer some thoughts to rejuvinate this nom. This is not an opposition vote, but just some thoughts that might help strengthen the article.

  • In the Prelude: "Due to Tenel Ka's stance, the Heritage Council—a group hostile to the Queen, realized that the only way…" A dash is used after Heritage Council, but not again after Queen. Is a dash or comma preferred? A dash is used later in the article regarding the Corellian Dreadnaughts, so perhaps a dash on both ends for consistency?
  • At the end of the first section it says "Due to extenuating circumstances…". Perhaps this could be briefly expanded upon?
  • In the Prelude, it might be advised to outline the intelligence role that Han and Leia Solo had and their loyalties a little clearer. Their role was precursory, but very important to the outcome of the battle.
  • In Section 2.2: "…ripped a hole in the usurper flank as it continued its pursuit of the Queen." Is 'Queen' referring to Tenel Ka or the Dragon Queen mentioned a couple sentences prior?
  • Section 2.2, Para. 1: The Galney fleet is mentioned right at the end of the paragraph, but there is no reference to Galney or the fleet anywhere prior. This sentence might serve better as the beginning of the next paragraph. Also, if this sentence is moved, placing "however" between the two clauses might create a better lead-in.
  • Perhaps a little mention to Jacen Solo's motives for firing on the Millennium Falcon might be relevant to the discussion of the battle?

Nice work, though. Again, just suggestions, but I hope they help. They might be more relevant for upgrading the article to FA status, though, and I am definitely not an expert on GA noms. Have a great day. Master Aban Fiolli (Alpheridies University ComNet) NR Seal 01:40, 10 October 2007 (UTC)