Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Battle of Foerost (Clone Wars)

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Contents

  • 1 Battle of Foerost (Clone Wars)
    • 1.1 (4 ACs/1 Users/5 Total)
      • 1.1.1 Support
      • 1.1.2 Object
        • 1.1.2.1 Cav
        • 1.1.2.2 Jangsworth
        • 1.1.2.3 Toprawa
      • 1.1.3 Comments

Battle of Foerost (Clone Wars)

  • Nominated by: CC7567 (talk) 10:07, December 28, 2013 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: A brief revival of Tranner's Project Bulwark from ages past.

(4 ACs/1 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. ACvote Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 21:58, January 14, 2014 (UTC)
  2. ACvote dat Rebellion Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 08:39, January 15, 2014 (UTC)
  3. ACvote dat ass JangFett (Talk) 02:56, January 17, 2014 (UTC)
  4. Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 00:04, January 19, 2014 (UTC)
  5. ACvote IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 05:28, January 23, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Cav
  • Does the name "Foerest Siege" refer to the two year blockade of the system? If so, then why would it be an alternate name for battle? Also, should the battle and the siege be separated into distinct articles as two different events? - Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 09:22, January 2, 2014 (UTC)
    • Did some double-checking and the events are presented as "Breaking the Foerost Siege," so the siege refers to the blockade and not the battle itself. I've split the siege/blockade into a separate article. Thanks for the review. CC7567 (talk) 07:16, January 4, 2014 (UTC)
Jangsworth
  • Wouldn't it be more precise if you modify the 20 BBY mention in the intro with 20.1 BBY? Basically you said "the second year of the Clone Wars" in the intro, and then you say "twenty-three months" in the battle section of the article. JangFett (Talk) 15:43, January 8, 2014 (UTC)
    • Fixed. Thanks for the review. CC7567 (talk) 18:45, January 8, 2014 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • I would recommend changing "Bulwark-class battlecruisers" here to "Bulwark-class battleships," which is the other canonical name for the Bulwark Mark I. The former is actually one of the variant names of the Bulwark Mark III, so I'm afraid of the possibility for confusion: "an entire armada of Bulwark-class battlecruisers"
    • Changed.
  • I've never been a fan of the sentence construct in which two consecutive clauses begin with "which." Can we try and vary this a little? "which blasted out of the Foerost Shipyards and broke through the Republic blockade, which was being overseen by Captain Jan Dodonna." Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 08:19, January 15, 2014 (UTC)
    • Fixed. Thanks for the review. CC7567 (talk) 08:32, January 15, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

  • A hint, since I've written the article on the overall campaign on Jedipedia.net: Jan Dodonna is leading the Republic blockade (see NEC, p. 78). Additionally, but I don't think you bring this kind of information into your articles, this engagement has some parallels to the real Battle of Hampton Roads. Nahdar Vebb (talk) 11:17, December 29, 2013 (UTC)
    • Thanks, I missed that bit about Dodonna. CC7567 (talk) 21:09, December 29, 2013 (UTC)