- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Battle of Falleen (Clone Wars)
- Nominated by: CC7567 (talk) 05:19, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Prelude to and second-to-last of CloneProject Droid Retrieval. Somewhere around 750 words.
(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)
Support
- One more for WookieeProject TCW. SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is the truth) 22:50, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
- Good job yet again. Jonjedigrandmaster (Jujiggum) 21:41, 7 June 2009 (UTC)
Nice! --Eyrezer 07:20, 8 June 2009 (UTC)
Good job. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:52, 30 June 2009 (UTC)- Cavalier One
(Squadron channel) 09:41, 1 July 2009 (UTC)
Object
- Soresu
"But" is repetitive in the intro.Nitpicking here. Taking a detour from his course to Bothawui, and set his sights on capturing the planet of Falleen, seem a little contradictory. The first seems to imply that he was forced into attacking Falleen, bt the second seems like a solid decision on Grievous' part.This one's also rather nitpicky. but as they engaged the lightsaber-wielding Dark Acolyte in combat, Ventress soon gained the upper hand. "As they" refers to the present while "soon" implies at least some events in the future. Please reword.
- The Grand Master
"The King" becomes repetitive in the intro. Could you put a synonym in for one of them? Maybe even just call him by his species as "the Falleen", or something similar.- Addressed.
"...to coordinate several attacks on Republic forces on three separate fronts." Does "several" in this case refer to the "three"? If so, then this is redundant.- Addressed.
"...the King arrived and prepared to kill Ventress." It sounds to me like he was already "prepared" to kill her. Could this be reworded?- It's simply a less colloquial form of the fact that he "got ready" or was "about" to kill her. Whether or not he "was prepared" to kill her is irrelevant. If I change it to that he "targeted" Ventress, it's not going to be clear that the King had the intent of killing her.
I was going to change the quote in the Aftermath section to the Dialogue template, but I figured I should check here first to make sure there's not a reason for it to be a quote template instead.Jonjedigrandmaster (Jujiggum) 13:51, 7 June 2009 (UTC)- I personally don't like using quotes with the {{Dialogue}} template so that they turn out like a script. I do it when it's necessary to distinguish between speakers, like when there's more than two, but I don't see why it needs to be used here. CC7567 (talk) 21:06, 7 June 2009 (UTC)
- Ok, no problem. Jonjedigrandmaster (Jujiggum) 21:41, 7 June 2009 (UTC)
- I personally don't like using quotes with the {{Dialogue}} template so that they turn out like a script. I do it when it's necessary to distinguish between speakers, like when there's more than two, but I don't see why it needs to be used here. CC7567 (talk) 21:06, 7 June 2009 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 09:41, 1 July 2009 (UTC)