Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Attack on disabled base (second nomination)

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Attack on disabled base

(4 ACs/2 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. Support WP:VG. Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 01:58, October 14, 2012 (UTC)
  2. ACvote Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 17:25, October 15, 2012 (UTC)
  3. ACvote IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 22:46, November 9, 2012 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Vote on disabled base. Menkooroo (talk) 00:02, November 15, 2012 (UTC)
  5. Winterz (talk) 18:46, November 27, 2012 (UTC)
  6. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 23:59, December 13, 2012 (UTC)

Object

Cav
  • As they were attempting to disable the first three platforms of the base, - What is the significance of the platforms? I see a reference to "platforms of guns" later in the article. If the two are the same, then it needs to be made clearer on first mention. If there are multiple platforms that comprise the base, then this needs to be made explicit.
  • Article for the destroyed settlement? - Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 11:52, October 9, 2012 (UTC)
Code-8's Report
Floyd
  • I'm seeing some linking issues.
  • There are some parts in the telling of the battle where the narrative is halting and the flow isn't great. Other than that, good article. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 21:40, November 8, 2012 (UTC)
Syke
  • In the infobox: If the outcome is a Naboo Resistance victory, then Naboo Resistance should be listed as one of the combatants.
  • Trade Federation should also be in there, with the droid army bulleted beneath them, rather than just a mention of the droid army.
  • Can you mention the Royal Naboo Security Forces in the intro? It would be good context on Bravo Squadron, too.
  • The infobox asserts missile launchers (with an s), but the article only mentions one missile launcher. A-ha!
    • More are implied in the mention of defenses at the settlement and command center. Should I make it more than implied. Corellian PremierRobotechAll along the watchtower 02:16, November 13, 2012 (UTC)
      • Nah, I think it's OK. Thanks for the clarification. Menkooroo (talk) 00:02, November 15, 2012 (UTC)
  • Since she's not mentioned in the article, Vedd Deviss will need a link and context in the quote attribution.
  • Can you give a bit of context on Neimoidian? That species isn't equated with the Trade Federation anywhere in the article, so it's unclear why anyone would think Sykes was one.
  • Any quotes for Prelude or Aftermath? Surely the pilots have some lines about those other missions. Menkooroo (talk) 07:20, November 10, 2012 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • When listing items in a battle infobox's "strength" fields, it's typically appropriate to order them by military importance/strength; e.g., ships and other aerial items first, artillery and ground vehicles second, and lesser ground items such as infantry and individual handheld weapons last. Currently, the Naboo side is ordered correctly in this fashion, but the Trade Federation side of the infobox is in no order at all. I'd like to see this organized more formally.
  • The intro comes off as being a little long to me, and as I read through it, I identify several bits that read rather play-by-playish that I feel could be heavily condensed. Specifically, this part here: "The pilots were ambushed when the base re-activated and had to first destroy a wall of airborne mines to proceed further into the base. After knocking out the mines, they fought through the complex, facing laser cannons and droid starfighters." A lot of that is just really minute detail that probably isn't critically important for an overall summary in the intro, and which could probably be reserved for the body of the article. See if you can condense that simply by saying the pilots fought through the base's defenses and eventually destroyed its deflector shield.
  • I'll proceed further into the article with my review once these initial objections are resolved. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 20:33, November 21, 2012 (UTC)

*In the Prelude's quote, there's no comma in the "Good work people" dialogue sentence?

  • I'm curious why you refer to the resistance here as the "Naboo resistance" while pipelinking it to the properly named "Naboo Resistance." Is there a specific intent in your writing, or can we otherwise just call it the "Naboo Resistance"?
  • Same here. Any specific reason for not using "the Resistance fighters"? "...and the turrets opened fire on the resistance fighters."
  • The article doesn't mention until very late down in the last subsection of "The attack" section that the Naboo pilots are flying N-1 starfighters. I feel like this should be detailed initially, most likely in the Prelude section.
  • The Aftermath section doesn't exactly explain that the Federation slave camps are holding what will ultimately be liberated Naboo citizens. I think this should be briefly mentioned. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:44, December 9, 2012 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 23:59, December 13, 2012 (UTC)


  1. WP:VG/Battle for Naboo project Corellian PremierRobotechAll along the watchtower 17:53, September 23, 2012 (UTC)