Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Arbitrator

< Wookieepedia:Good article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Arbitrator

  • Nominated by: Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 14:41, April 1, 2018 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Say what you will about Chuck Wendig's writing, but his books sure are great for fleet junkies.

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. Well done--Vitus InfinitusTalk 20:24, April 10, 2018 (UTC)
  2. ACvote Ayrehead02 (talk) 17:35, April 16, 2018 (UTC)
  3. Great work as always, Tommy. I really need to pick up Rebel Files at some point. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 18:07, April 19, 2018 (UTC)
    • Thanks AV. I really recommend the book, loads of tidbits of info. Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 18:14, April 19, 2018 (UTC)
  4. ACvote MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 21:19, May 4, 2018 (UTC)
  5. ACvote 1358 (Talk) 20:59, May 7, 2018 (UTC)

Object

Vitus
  • I'd recommend some restructuring for the intro
    • I think it could be better to join these two sentences: "In the aftermath of the Battle of Endor, the Arbitrator was pursued by several New Republic starships. In an attempt to escape them, the Arbitrator jumped to erroneous hyperspace coordinates, causing the Dreadnought to be pulled into a black hole, which destroyed it."
      • Done.
    • Slightly rewording the last part of the above sentence from, "causing the Dreadnought to be pulled into a black hole, which destroyed it," into "causing the dreadnought to be pulled into a black hole, destroying it." or something similar would be better
      • Done.
    • Should "Dreadnought" be capitalized? I also notice it throughout the article
      • Aftermath Life Debt capitalises it.
  • In the description section, I think "thousands" would be better than "1,000s"
    • Done.
  • "Of" is repeated in the last part of the description section
    • Good spot. Changed.
      • Did you mean to add "one" instead of an "of" between "be" and "of"? "by the Rebel Alliance to be of the" --> "by the Rebel Alliance to be one of the"
  • There are several spelling errors in the history section, and did you mean "perused" or "pursued" in the first sentence of the second paragraph?--Vitus InfinitusTalk 17:28, April 10, 2018 (UTC)
    • Corrected.
  • Thanks for your review! Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 18:09, April 10, 2018 (UTC)
Ayrehead
  • The final line of the intro is still very choppy with so many commas, could you reword it?
    • Reworded.
  • I'm not sure that the paragraph about the Arbitrator being cruical really belongs in description. Ayrehead02 (talk) 21:42, April 15, 2018 (UTC)
    • Removed.
  • The caption for the Sloane image makes it sound like no one knew about it before her. Ayrehead02 (talk) 21:42, April 15, 2018 (UTC)
    • I think that sounds better. Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 16:23, April 16, 2018 (UTC)
Ecks Dee
  • Honestly I'd just remove the first image since it doesn't really add anything to the article. The text gets squeezed between the image and the infobox and it just doesn't look very nice. An article this short doesn't need two images.
    • Gone.
  • Question: I'm not really familiar with the source material, but should "Class 1" be capitalized? That's how it's in Legends, iirc.
  • Another question: Does the source use the term "crucial" for describing its relation to the Empire? That word is, in my experience, generally used to describe a relation to an event or resource ("crucial role in the war effort" for example). If the source doesn't use that word, I recommend going with "important" or something similar.
    • Apologies, the source actually uses the word "critical". Now replaced.
  • "that formed part of its complement of over 1,000 ships. The Arbitrator was manned by thousands of crew.[1]" Feels wrong to use numerals and then write it out. Seeing as the "1,000" is just a quantity (as in it lacks a unit), you could just write it out, as well.
    • Done.
  • "Arbitrator was mentioned in The Rebel Files, a compiled gathering of information, reports, and accounts" "compiled gathering" is very redundant wording; they essentially mean the same thing. Go with "compilation" or something.
    • Added.
  • "It was mentioned in a list of the Imperial Navy's most crucial Executor-class Star Dreadnoughts, both those in service and those under construction, which was compiled by Admiral Ackbar.[2" This sentence just reads really awkward, especially the last clause. You mention the list in the first clause but then mention its author at the very end.
    • Reworded.
  • " the ship made a bad hyperspace calculation" A ship by itself cannot make calculations. Either it was a navicomputer or the crew; either way, you can't write the ship made a bad calculation.
    • Aftermath: Life Debt says "Another, the Arbitrator, made a bad hyperspace calculation to escape pursuing NR ships," and Star Wars: The Rebel Files just has the article's main quote. Which do you think would be preferred in this situation, as the book says it was the ship?
  • "Sloane discovered that eleven of the thirteen Dreadnoughts originally in the Empire's service" In the intro, you don't capitalize dreadnought when it's being used alone, but here you do. Which is correct?
    • Sorry, I originally capitalised it as Aftermath: Life Debt does, but then I changed it to be more consistent with the rest of the canon. That one must've slipped under the radar. Now changed.
  • One can only hope for The Essential Canon Chronology so that we can get rid of these ridiculously long date references. 1358 (Talk) 23:03, April 20, 2018 (UTC)
Fred strikes back
  • Something minor, but you refer to the Arbitrator by its name a lot in the "Description" section. It thus gets a little repetitive when reading the section. I'd recommend using words like "ship" and "dreadnought" occasionally to diversify the language. MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 03:28, May 1, 2018 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 20:59, May 7, 2018 (UTC)