Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Antes Belladar

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Antes Belladar

  • Nominated by: Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 21:09, November 22, 2012 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: My other noms finally have cleared out so now I can get a lot more barn burner noms done. Oh, and thanks to MasterFred for uploading the image when I couldn't and more Operation Battlegrounds

(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. Good work. 501st dogma(talk) 22:15, November 30, 2012 (UTC)
  2. Plagueis327 (talk) 03:20, December 18, 2012 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Wazzup???????? Menkooroo (talk) 04:18, December 21, 2012 (UTC)
  4. Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 04:59, December 21, 2012 (UTC)
  5. ACvote IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 04:42, December 25, 2012 (UTC)
  6. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 03:53, December 30, 2012 (UTC)

Object

501st
  • It focuses a bit heavily on Vader's POV. Could you change that?
  • Remember to capitalize Rebels, or stay consistent in your capitalization. I've fixed it here, but remember that in the future.
  • In the P&T, is there a source that calls him lazy? Otherwise, you should remove it.
  • Good work on these barn burner noms. 501st dogma(talk) 21:33, November 24, 2012 (UTC)
  • Please be consistent in your capitalization of Governor. Sometimes its capitalized, and sometimes it's not.
  • Was Belladar on the islands when he was killed? It does not make this clear, as Vader goes to the islands, which would infer Belladar went.
    • The game doesn't tell the player where Belladar is when he dies, since his voice is only heard in the campaign. Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 04:58, November 27, 2012 (UTC)
  • That should be it. 501st dogma(talk) 21:22, November 26, 2012 (UTC)
Exiled Jedi
  • "The Governor was forced to request help from Darth Vader, the second-in-command of the Empire, who had already discovered the Rebel's plan to take Reytha when he had chased them off their base on the moon Yavin 4, and had left for Reytha, knowing that the loss of its food supplies could damage the Empire." This sentence is kind of confusing, it could use to be split up.
  • "Vader planned to take the capital city, Reytha Minor, but instead had retook the smaller cities of Teks and Breeda for the Empire, and after doing that, Beladar expressed his surprise that he was able to do so." Please break up this sentence.
  • I would mention in the BTS that the scenario editor featured Belladar with a blaster (I think its a rifle, but I'm not sure.)
  • You can add that he had fair skin to the infobox and personality and traits from the picture.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 16:53, December 13, 2012 (UTC)
Wazzzzuppp????? Remember when people said that? 2000 was a crazy year.
  • Does Battlegrounds actually say that Vader is the second-in-command of the Empire? If not, I recommend referring to him by his title (Supreme Commander of the Imperial Fleet) and finding a source for it.
    • Done. Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 10:35, December 20, 2012 (UTC)
      • "Supreme Commander of the Imperial Fleet of the Empire" is a bit repetitive; "of the Empire" isn't necessary when it's already been established as the "Imperial" fleet.
  • I think the quote attribution for the Biography is a little too descriptive. It doesn't tell us anything that reading the quote doesn't already tell us. It would be better in this case to simply name the speakers; the reader can already tell who's reporting what to whom.
  • Ranks and titles: Never capitalize the title if it's referring to the rank rather than the person. ie, "rose to the position of Governor...," "achieve the position of Governor..."
    • Completed. Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 10:35, December 20, 2012 (UTC)
      • Keep in mind that things like "The Captain" or "The governor" are still referring to the person and should be capitalized.
  • Can you give a tad bit of detail on how Vader retakes the cities? It kind of sounds like he does it singlehandedly.
  • Some of what Antes does in the bio could be rephrased to emphasize what he did rather than what he said. eg, "Belladar expressed his surprise" would be better as "Belladar was surprised." To avoid veering into play-by-play territory, it's almost always better to say "Joe thought A" rather than "Joe said that he thought A."
  • The opening of the bio's second paragraph reads like Antes is lying to Vader in an effort to save face. "Uh, yeah, the Rebels haven't attacked yet, they're only preparing to attack!" Am I reading it correctly? If so, it sounds like it's good fodder for the P&T.
    • The games fairly unclear on this. It has Belladar saying the Rebels are about to attack, and then a stormtrooper says "Oh yeah, the Rebels have the planet now." So we can't tell whether Belladar was lying, was an idiot or had outdated information. Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 10:35, December 20, 2012 (UTC)
  • "in which his unit fights with a blaster." Isn't a unit a group of people? This reads as if they only have one blaster. Can you give some more detail on what this means? Who his unit fights and what the surrounding context is seems like good BTS info.
    • Unit there just meant Belladar himself, who only has one blaster, not a small army with him. Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 10:35, December 20, 2012 (UTC)
      • Coolness. Check out the second half of the objection, though --- who does he fight in the level editor? Some context is needed.
  • Mention his first mention (strategy guide) in the BTS, daddio! Menkooroo (talk) 08:59, December 20, 2012 (UTC)
  • Another one: "After doing so, Belladar was suprised..." As Belladar is the subject of the sentence, it reads as if he was the one who led the army to the cities (established in the previous sentence). Can you reword? Menkooroo (talk) 13:27, December 20, 2012 (UTC)
  • Sorry for the never-ending review, but two more: The quote attribution of the BTS mentions a "scenario editor." Is that the same as the level editor? Probably best to pick one name and stick with it.
  • From an above objection: Even if we don't know whether he was lying or an idiot, I think the P&T could still indicate that he provided Vader with out-of-date information, and not make any guesses as to why. Give it a shot! Menkooroo (talk) 01:04, December 21, 2012 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • As a preliminary objection, the intro comes off as being a little long to me, particularly in relation to the size of the Biography. It doesn't pass the eye test, for one. And at 159 words to the Bio's 357, it's currently almost half the Biography's length. In this instance, considering how short the Bio is, that's pushing it. See if you can't shorten it up some, keeping in mind to save any details that aren't critically necessary for the article body. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 02:18, December 27, 2012 (UTC)
    • I've shaved 30 or so words of the intro, is that enough? Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 03:13, December 27, 2012 (UTC)
      • It's definitely better, but I still think there are points throughout the intro that can be condensed. When writing intros, it's not critically necessary to provide perfect descriptive context for every person, place, and thing. This is the part of the article where we try to summarize the subject as concisely as we can while inviting the reader to explore further into the article or other articles if they are hungry for more information. I don't think it's necessary here to explain that the Galactic Civil War was "a conflict between the Empire and the Alliance to Restore the Republic." That's something that can be saved for the body of the article. Instead, I would suggest revising this part to read "In 0 ABY, during the Galactic Civil War, Belladar was unable to prevent the Rebel Alliance's takeover of Reytha." Additionally, I don't think describing Vader as "the Supreme Commander of the Imperial Fleet" adds any critical substance to the intro, especially considering a) generally speaking, the average visitor to the site knows who Vader is, so adding additional context to explain who he is doesn't do anything to help their understanding; and b) his involvement on Reytha is entirely planetary-based, so his role as a fleet commander is sort of irrelevant. I would simply suggest introducing him as "the Dark Lord Darth Vader," which accomplishes the same thing in less space. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:58, December 28, 2012 (UTC)
        • I've condensed all those parts now. Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 22:24, December 28, 2012 (UTC)
          • Much, much better. I also removed the contextual bit for the Montrosa Islands for the same reason (missed that originally), and made similar changes to the body.
  • Does the game actually state that Belladar was governor of Reytha prior to the Galactic Civil War, or is this our assumption?
    • It says he'd been governor several years before the two levels he appears in, which I thought would be fine to say was several years before the war, but thinking about it I've changed it to say it was several years before 0 ABY. Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 02:43, December 30, 2012 (UTC)
      • Gotcha. Yeah, I think this is probably more on the safe side. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 03:53, December 30, 2012 (UTC)
  • There are some overarching generalizations made in the P/T that we have to be careful to avoid making if they're not literally true. For example, saying "he was known" to pass off responsibilities to other people implies that this was his reputation, and that he did this on multiple occasions. If he only did this one time in the game, it would not be accurate to say he "was known" for this, only that he did this on that one occasion. The same can be said for his visor. The article states that he "usually" wore a visor over his face, but do we really know that? Do we seem him on multiple occasions using the visor, or does he only wear the visor in this single level in the game? If it's the latter, we should only say that he wore the visor during the Rebel invasion, etc. etc.
  • Going along with his visor, would it not also be accurate to say he wore a helmet as well? Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 22:46, December 29, 2012 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 03:53, December 30, 2012 (UTC)