Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Ando (clone trooper) (second nomination)

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Ando (clone trooper)

  • Nominated by: Talrrivanian JaingHead (Headquarters) 16:28, January 26, 2012 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Yes, another clone from the Gambit series, boy I love that book.....

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. ACvote—Cal JediInfinite Empire (Personal Comm Channel) 02:38, February 15, 2012 (UTC)
  2. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:40, February 26, 2012 (UTC)
  3. 501st DogmaRepublic emblem(Comlink) 21:15, March 2, 2012 (UTC)
  4. ACvote IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 00:49, March 6, 2012 (UTC)
  5. ACvote Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 11:11, March 7, 2012 (UTC)

Object

Return of the Jedi
  • Quote: "...what's left of our troops but I need to get back out there." - No comma between "troops" and "but" in the book? If not, a [sic] needs to be added.
    • It is written like that in the book, but what is a [sic]?
      • It shows a mistake in the official source. Take a look at this for an example.
        • Added.
  • "He fought in the ensuing battle, which, because the Confederate General Grievous introduced a computer virus that jammed all Republic communications, became difficult for the Galactic Republic." - Awkward wording. Wording, sentence structure cleanup.
    • I believe it to be fixed.
  • "Despite the new weapon, the Republic was eventually victorious." - Victorious in what? The battle? The war? The grav-ball game that the Republic was having?
    • Clarified.
  • You make no mention in the body whatsoever of his being a Human clone, male, or being 1.83 meters tall. I believe that they could be easily worked in without making it sound awkward. You might want to take a look at this for ideas.
    • Added.
  • Was Ando first mentioned or did he first appear in the book? The Appearances and BTS say conflicting things.
    • Clarified.
  • "Thus, they remained on Kothlis." - This can't really be combined with the preceding sentence unless all of it is reworded, but I do think that it needs more expansion or context or something.
    • Reworded.
  • You might be able to fit in a P & T section in. Perhaps mentioning his physical appearance, the fact that he was a sergeant, etc. I'll leave that up to your own and the other reviewer's discretions, though.—Cal JediInfinite Empire (Personal Comm Channel) 06:15, January 27, 2012 (UTC)
    • Your right, I added a P&T section. Take a look.--Talrrivanian JaingHead (Headquarters) 10:26, February 1, 2012 (UTC)
      • All right. I don't think you can say, though, that Kenobi and Skywalker trusted and respected him. He could have been their only choice. That part of the sentence needs to be removed or reworded so that it is not OR.—Cal JediInfinite Empire (Personal Comm Channel) 23:08, February 1, 2012 (UTC)
        • Reworded.
Lee's charge
  • Nitpicky it may seem, but I like to clarify that issue. Is Sergeant Ven a clone too? If it is soo, could you please add it to "Sergeant" when you mention it? The way it is currently worded it seems like Drayk is a clone and Ven not. Both for intro and bio.
    • I see your point, clarified.
  • Aboard the Republic cruiser: If I recall it correctly the Republic had more then one cruiser. Do you mean flagship?
    • I appologize for this rather careless error.
  • Good work. Clone Commander Lee Talk 09:18, February 26, 2012 (UTC)
501st
  • One thing only. There is no link to clone trooper anywhere in the article, only to cloning and clone trooper sergeant. Maybe link clone trooper sergeant like this, clone trooper sergeant.
    • This is not true, I list it once in the intro, and once in the bio. Note, just because it doesn't specifically say clone trooper doesn't mean that it isn't there. In the intro it is at the bottom. In the bio, if you hover over "ground troops" you will see that it is linked to clone troopers.
  • Good work 501st DogmaRepublic emblem(Comlink) 22:05, March 1, 2012 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 11:11, March 7, 2012 (UTC)