Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Ambush at Mos Eisley

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Ambush at Mos Eisley

• Nominated by: Corellian Premier^{All along the watchtower} 21:37, March 14, 2012 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: And now for something completely different.

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

Support

1. Clone Commander Lee ^Talk 15:22, March 16, 2012 (UTC)
2. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 02:11, April 21, 2012 (UTC)
3. Plagueis327 15:50, May 11, 2012 (UTC)
4. —Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 00:14, May 23, 2012 (UTC)
5. 1358 ^(Talk) 21:06, May 26, 2012 (UTC)

Object

Lee's charge

• Infobox: Why are the Tatooine residents in the forces section of the infobox? They fought not, am I correct.
  • True, they didn't fight, but they are technically one of the 'combatants.' Corellian Premier^{All along the watchtower} 23:05, March 14, 2012 (UTC)
• Is the title of the battle given in the game?
  • Yes, it's the mission's official name. Corellian Premier^{All along the watchtower} 23:05, March 14, 2012 (UTC)
• The Ambush at Mos Eisley happened between the Galactic Empire and Rebel over the Tatooine spaceport Mos Eisley: Word missing?
  • Ah yes, I missed that in my copy-edit. Corellian Premier^{All along the watchtower} 23:05, March 14, 2012 (UTC)
• Context for the Battle of Yavin, Mos Eisley and Jawas in the intro.
  • Added. Corellian Premier^{All along the watchtower} 23:05, March 14, 2012 (UTC)
    • Take a look at my edit for the Yavin context. Clone Commander Lee ^Talk 14:35, March 15, 2012 (UTC)
• More context for Skywalker and Yavin in the prelude section.
  • Added. Corellian Premier^{All along the watchtower} 23:05, March 14, 2012 (UTC)
    • Take a look at my edit for the Yavin context. Clone Commander Lee ^Talk 14:35, March 15, 2012 (UTC)
• Context for Wedge Antilles and Jabba's Palace.
  • Added. Corellian Premier^{All along the watchtower} 23:05, March 14, 2012 (UTC)
• Context for the Pit of Carkoon and dewback troopers as well as the sandcrawlers and Jawas.
  • How's that? Corellian Premier^{All along the watchtower} 23:05, March 14, 2012 (UTC)
    • A little bit more for the Pit please. Clone Commander Lee ^Talk 14:35, March 15, 2012 (UTC)
      • Added. Corellian Premier^{All along the watchtower} 19:31, March 15, 2012 (UTC)
• After the probe droids were taken out, a six-fighter squadron of TIE Bombers began an attack on the city, flying in a circular pattern to drop proton bombs on vital parts of the city: Two times city. Please also state that the city is Mos Eisley.
  • Nixed. Corellian Premier^{All along the watchtower} 23:05, March 14, 2012 (UTC)
• Two civilian T-16 skyhoppers were flying through Beggar's Canyon at the time.: What has the sentence to do with the battle?
  • It's comprehensiveness. They were there flying around, regardless of gamemechanics. Corellian Premier^{All along the watchtower} 23:05, March 14, 2012 (UTC)
    • I still don't see why it should be mentioned in an article about the battle. Could you explain your point? Clone Commander Lee ^Talk 14:35, March 15, 2012 (UTC)
      • I placed them in the article because they are on-site at the time of the engagement. To me, anyway, that warrants an inclusion, but if I'm wrong I will remove it. And it is possible for the player to shoot them down, but it affects their "friendlies saved" score. Corellian Premier^{All along the watchtower} 19:31, March 15, 2012 (UTC)
• All for now. Clone Commander Lee ^Talk 21:50, March 14, 2012 (UTC)
  • Much appreciated. Corellian Premier^{All along the watchtower} 23:05, March 14, 2012 (UTC)
• The team then made a run through Mos Eisley, shooting down the six TIE bombers before the city was destroyed. : The city was destroyed? You don't mention it that way in the body. Clone Commander Lee ^Talk 13:32, March 16, 2012 (UTC)
  • Ah yes, I didn't mean to imply that. Wording changed. Corellian Premier^{All along the watchtower} 15:13, March 16, 2012 (UTC)

Floyd:

• In the intro, mention that Luke was a Rogue Squadron member to contextify why the Empire would be looking for him there.
  • Added. Corellian Premier^{All along the watchtower} 01:49, April 18, 2012 (UTC)
• Intro: "The Empire deployed detachments of TIE Bombers" This makes it sound like there are multiple waves of TIE bombers, when later you say that there are only six. Rectify this.
  • And voila. Corellian Premier^{All along the watchtower} 01:49, April 18, 2012 (UTC)
• Prelude: "Unsavory" sounds somewhat POV.
  • It's what the sources says. Corellian Premier^{All along the watchtower} 01:49, April 18, 2012 (UTC)
• A link to the Rogue pilot that got shot down?
  • Due to the use of recycled voice clips, I can't tell who it is: Dack, Zev, or Wes. Corellian Premier^{All along the watchtower} 01:49, April 18, 2012 (UTC)
• " Two civilian T-16 skyhoppers were flying through Beggar's Canyon at the time. The squadron flew by them as they fought the probe droids." Is this really relevant to the battle itself? These guys didn't contribute to the fighting in any way.
  • As I told Lee above, I think since they were there they should be mentioned, especially since a "friendly saved" score is at stake. Corellian Premier^{All along the watchtower} 01:49, April 18, 2012 (UTC)
• "The Rebel pilot then destroyed the last three probe droids, saving a nearby Jawa sandcrawler,[1] a large transport used by the Jawas, one of Tatooine's native species." This is a little too much context, and detracts from the paragraph's flow. Something like "a nearby Jawa sandcrawler transport" would be better.
  • What you suggested is what I had before but I was told to add more context, so... Corellian Premier^{All along the watchtower} 01:49, April 18, 2012 (UTC)
    • Maybe I'm biased, but I think my way is better. :P IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 01:27, April 19, 2012 (UTC)
      • Nixed. Corellian Premier^{All along the watchtower} 03:32, April 19, 2012 (UTC)
• That's all from me. Good work. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 00:33, April 18, 2012 (UTC)
  • Thanks for the review. Corellian Premier^{All along the watchtower} 01:49, April 18, 2012 (UTC)

Ecks Dee

• While I realize that "Ambush at Mos Eisley" seems to be a canonical title, I would recommend rewording the first sentence of the introduction. An ambush is usually conducted by someone. Maybe it could be reworded to say something like "The Ambush at Mos Eisley" was an attack conducted by the Galactic Empire…".
  • Is that sufficient? Corellian Premier^{All along the watchtower} 16:53, May 26, 2012 (UTC)
• In "Cleanup of Imperial patrols", there are two consecutive sentences starting with "As". Can you reword one of them for better flow?
  • Sure thing, done. Corellian Premier^{All along the watchtower} 16:53, May 26, 2012 (UTC)
• "Two civilian T-16 skyhoppers were flying through Beggar's Canyon at the time. The squadron flew by them as they fought the probe droids." I recommend merging these two sentences to improve the flow.
  • So merged. Corellian Premier^{All along the watchtower} 16:53, May 26, 2012 (UTC)
• Nice work. 1358 ^(Talk) 16:02, May 26, 2012 (UTC)
  • Why thank you. Corellian Premier^{All along the watchtower} 16:53, May 26, 2012 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 21:06, May 26, 2012 (UTC)

1. WP:VG. Corellian Premier^{All along the watchtower} 21:37, March 14, 2012 (UTC)