- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Alexem
- Nominated by: ~ SavageBob 21:33, November 22, 2009 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Random Squib geezer.
(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)
Support
- Nice. SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is the truth) 09:12, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
CC7567 (talk) 21:25, November 26, 2009 (UTC)
--Eyrezer 00:14, November 29, 2009 (UTC)- Jonjedigrandmaster (Jedi Beacon) 00:57, December 2, 2009 (UTC)
- Yay, last vote needed. Good work! Kreivi Wolter 11:08, December 2, 2009 (UTC)
Object
- Attack of the Clone
"Alexem urged caution and sent warriors to escort the strangers to him": bit awkward and unclear wording here. It sounds as if you're trying to say that he sent warriors to bring the strangers back to him, but your wording implies otherwise, especially with "escort," as it implies that the strangers were already on their way to him and that the warriors were simply sent to lead them to their destination, which you don't clarify.Please check your grammar and dash usage in "not for violence—yet", as I'm not sure what you're trying to say.- Please also watch your infobox formatting, particularly with {{Ref}}s. CC7567 (talk) 20:20, November 26, 2009 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review! I have tried to clarify how and why the heroes visit the Squib village. It's more of an invitation/escort thing in the "best-case-scenario" of the adventure, so I've made that more explicit. As for the dashed "yet," it was supposed to mean that he would decide whether violence was warranted after speaking to them, but I've made that more explicit too. And sorry about the refs in the infobox; it's an older article from before I knew that trick, so I didn't think to check that I had done it. Does everything check out now? ~ SavageBob 21:17, November 26, 2009 (UTC)
- I've done some rewording based on your clarification. Please check it to see if it's acceptable. (Also, I mainly cited WP:DASH for the proper formatting of dashes, which I've now corrected.) CC7567 (talk) 21:25, November 26, 2009 (UTC)
- Ah, gotcha. Again, legacy of this being one of my earlier articles. Thanks for the help! ~ SavageBob 21:44, November 26, 2009 (UTC)
- I've done some rewording based on your clarification. Please check it to see if it's acceptable. (Also, I mainly cited WP:DASH for the proper formatting of dashes, which I've now corrected.) CC7567 (talk) 21:25, November 26, 2009 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review! I have tried to clarify how and why the heroes visit the Squib village. It's more of an invitation/escort thing in the "best-case-scenario" of the adventure, so I've made that more explicit. As for the dashed "yet," it was supposed to mean that he would decide whether violence was warranted after speaking to them, but I've made that more explicit too. And sorry about the refs in the infobox; it's an older article from before I knew that trick, so I didn't think to check that I had done it. Does everything check out now? ~ SavageBob 21:17, November 26, 2009 (UTC)
- The Grand Master
Why is the article sourced? There seems to be only one appearance.- As a note: be careful about using story-like phrases that are too colloquial; also watch for repetition of words at the beginning of sentences (i.e. beginning several sentences in a row with "He").
- Nice work. Jonjedigrandmaster (Jedi Beacon) 23:10, December 1, 2009 (UTC)
- Thanks for your review and copy edit! I disagree about colloquial phrasing being necessarily bad, but I have no problems with your changes either. As for sourcing, I always source articles to page numbers to make it easier for others to check my work and to find specific facts or mentions they may be searching for. Is there still a problem with "he" being overused? ~ SavageBob 00:32, December 2, 2009 (UTC)
- No problem :). For the colloquial wording: as an encyclopedia, we tend to try and avoid it, especially in GAs and FAs. For the repetition of "he:" When you start multiple sentences in a row with the same word it makes for a dull and monotonous read, which falls under GAN Rule 1's "well-written" criteria. As for the sourcing, the official Wookieepedia policy states here that, per rule 5, articles appearing in only one appearance or source should not be sourced, as it is redundant. Jonjedigrandmaster (Jedi Beacon) 00:42, December 2, 2009 (UTC)
- Right, my question was more along the lines of do you still feel that the colloquial language and he overuse are problems after your recent copy edit, or should I give it another look? As for the sourcing, if including the page numbers is what keeps this article from being a GA, I'd rather keep them so the article is more useful than have it be GA and be less useful; my reading of Rule 5 has always been that it's a minimum requirement, after all. This article has gone above and beyond what is minimally required. ~ SavageBob 00:49, December 2, 2009 (UTC)
- Ah, sorry about that: the colloquial language and "he" over-usage is fine now, I was just making a note to watch for it in the future. And after conferring with other ACs, the sourcing is fine, too. We're gonna start a CT to amend that rule. Jonjedigrandmaster (Jedi Beacon) 00:57, December 2, 2009 (UTC)
- OK, thanks again for your help! ~ SavageBob 00:59, December 2, 2009 (UTC)
- Ah, sorry about that: the colloquial language and "he" over-usage is fine now, I was just making a note to watch for it in the future. And after conferring with other ACs, the sourcing is fine, too. We're gonna start a CT to amend that rule. Jonjedigrandmaster (Jedi Beacon) 00:57, December 2, 2009 (UTC)
- Right, my question was more along the lines of do you still feel that the colloquial language and he overuse are problems after your recent copy edit, or should I give it another look? As for the sourcing, if including the page numbers is what keeps this article from being a GA, I'd rather keep them so the article is more useful than have it be GA and be less useful; my reading of Rule 5 has always been that it's a minimum requirement, after all. This article has gone above and beyond what is minimally required. ~ SavageBob 00:49, December 2, 2009 (UTC)
- No problem :). For the colloquial wording: as an encyclopedia, we tend to try and avoid it, especially in GAs and FAs. For the repetition of "he:" When you start multiple sentences in a row with the same word it makes for a dull and monotonous read, which falls under GAN Rule 1's "well-written" criteria. As for the sourcing, the official Wookieepedia policy states here that, per rule 5, articles appearing in only one appearance or source should not be sourced, as it is redundant. Jonjedigrandmaster (Jedi Beacon) 00:42, December 2, 2009 (UTC)
- Thanks for your review and copy edit! I disagree about colloquial phrasing being necessarily bad, but I have no problems with your changes either. As for sourcing, I always source articles to page numbers to make it easier for others to check my work and to find specific facts or mentions they may be searching for. Is there still a problem with "he" being overused? ~ SavageBob 00:32, December 2, 2009 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 16:53, December 2, 2009 (UTC)