Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Aleema Keto

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Aleema Keto

(+5)

Support

1. I'm nominating this article because, well, I think it's a good one! I really put a lot of work into it, and it doesn't require regular maintaining. I believe it meets all the requirements to be nominated for a Good Article. Thanks! Tommy9281^(Ouch!!) 2pm, 10 March 2008 (UTC)
2. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:40, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
3. Graestan^(Talk) 03:50, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
4. Greyman ^(Talk) 15:31, 23 April 2008 (UTC)
5. Very good. Chack Jadson ^(Talk) 00:29, 24 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

1. Toprawa:
   • The infobox must be completely sourced.
     • Addressed.
       • The infobox is still unsourced. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:37, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
   • The introduction is far too short. Please expand. It should be a good sized paragraph considering the length of this article.
     • Addressed.
   • Two things here. One, you pipelink Republic forces to some Rocket Jumper. This seems strange and unnecessary. Was this the only individual fighting in the battle? Also, briefly explain who the Naddists were: "to find a massive battle taking place between Republic forces and the Naddists"
     • Addressed.
       • Good, but if the information on the Rocket Jumper was pertinent, don't just remove it entirely. If it's essential, still include in the prose somewhere. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:11, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
     • Addressed.
   • Elaborate on what you mean here: "...Nadd realized Ommin had failed"
   • Briefly explain what space grazers are to give this sentence greater substance: " Aleema used her sorcery to create illusions of space grazers to fool the fleet"
     • Addressed.
   • Terrible is a bit POV. Please reword: "her Battle Meditation allowing the Republic forces to ignore the terrible apparitions"
     • Addressed.
   • Please explain exactly why they were defeated. The aforementioned bombers? "the Republic detachment was forced to withdraw"
     • Addressed.
   • I'm guessing he's doing this as part of his vengeance streak. Explain what his intentions were by infiltrating: "Qel-Droma soon after attempted to infiltrate Cinnagar, the capital world the of Empress Teta system"
     • Addressed.
   • Please provide a brief description of what the Iron Citadel is: " and had Qel-Droma interrogated and tortured in the dungeons of the Iron Citadel"
     • Addressed.
       • You still have not explained what this is. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:15, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
         • Addressed.
   • You never actually specify that he had turned to the dark side, just that he was administered a poison that would ensure his doing so. Please clarify: "The vengeful former Jedi repelled the attack"
     • Addressed.
   • This clausal confusion makes it seem as though Mandalore the Indomitable, a she, is feigning affection, which I'm sure is not the case: "Although she feigned affection for him once he returned, Mandalore the Indomitable made Ulic aware of Aleema's treachery"
     • Addressed.
   • Please come up with a better section title than Endgame. Very uncreative.
     • Addressed.
   • Please reword this to avoid using corrupt twice in a row: "She was naive to the fact that the dark side had a corruptive nature, and would surely twist and corrupt her."
     • Addressed.
   • Additionally, that sentence needs to be sourced. You'll see the ^[source?] tag.
     • Addressed.
   • You capitalized "Sith Sorceress" in the image caption, but do not do so in the article. Choose one, the correct one, and stick with it.
     • Addressed.
   • Whoa, where did this information come from? This definitely needs to be included into the main biography section somwhere: "when she had Lord Keto lowered into a vat of molten carbonite."
     • Addressed.
   • As does this: "Her short-temper was displayed again when she burned tutor Korus alive for simply spilling a drink on her."
     • Addressed.
   • Source this sentence: "She was not above using her powers to horrify and terrorize those around her."
     • Addressed.
   • Please reword this, which basically reads she "energized by energy": "...seemingly energized by them"
     • Addressed.
   • Please paraphrase this direct quote: "telling him, "keep steady, we are going to live!""
     • Addressed.
   • Please reword. Up to par with what? "Her Force sense was also up to par (more so than Satal's)"
     • Addressed.
   • This sentence seems dubious. Did she truly often conjure up things? Or did she only do it once? Also, either seems to suggest a previous sentence in which you mention she was not limited in something, but one does not exist. Please reword this sentence as appropriate: "Aleema preferred using Sith magic to conjure apparitions, usually of Adegan eels or other hideous lizards, but she was not limited there either."<?s>
     • Addressed.
   • In the past when? "In the past she created mass illusions"
     • Addressed.
   • Please reword this sentence. Nothing in the article implies that she was all-powerful: "She was not all-powerful, however."
     • Addressed.
   • Please paraphrase instead: "she brushed off the attack saying to Satal, "Tell me, Satal – what warrior can stand who believes his sword has ceased to be a sword?""
     • Addressed.
   • Please reword: "into snakes that proceeded to attack the attackers."
     • Addressed.
   • Just confirming that this was indeed more than one supernova: "the ensuing supernovae"
     • Addressed.
   • I would really like to see the BTS expanded. Please include sentences including who first created the character, in what source she made her first appearance, and any other notable appearances that greatly expanded her character.
     • Working on.
   • The source list needs to be organized by real-word publication dates
     • Working on.
   • Please organize the categories into alphabetical order.
     • Addressed.
   • Some advice:
     • You often add double spaces between periods and such. Although this doesn't show up in the article, it's really unnecessary. Just single space.
     • I'm seeing a number of instances in which you pipelink important concepts by just giving them a vague description instead of actually specifying what these things are; i.e., planets, names of starships, etc. I've gone through and changed these things for you, but only use pipelinking as a last resort. Always specify what it is you're talking about for greater comprehension.
     • Always remember to italicize ship names. I've cleaned these up for you. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:54, 10 March 2008 (UTC)
2. From the Editor-in-Chief:
   • Mention Ulic's method of recruiting Mandalore.
   • Reword the BtS sentence to say something about the shared name, but don't speculate as to ancestry. Also, add a blurb about her appearance information, i.e. which issues, who wrote her character, etc.
     • Now there's nothing about the later holders of the Keto name. Can this be rectified? Graestan^(Talk) 03:36, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
   • There's a redlink to an audio dramatization in the reflist that might have an article to link to.
   • We're taking this to FA eventually, so let me know if you want any assistance.
   • Graestan^(Talk) 21:30, 11 March 2008 (UTC)
     • I fixed the red link parts, Graestan. I'm also interested in FA status, but I didn't want to reach big just yet. Thanks for the help, Tommy9281^(Ouch!!) 6:22pm EST, 10 March 2008 (UTC)
3. In the article's BtS, it is stated that Sebban Keto may be a relative of Satal and Aleema, but according to this article from Wizards.com, it says that Sebban is "A descendant of the same family that produced Satal Keto". Since Aleema is from that family (She was Satal's cousin), that needs to be incorporated in the article somewhere, and removed from the Bts. Greyman^(Talk) 15:06, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
4. The first couple of paragraphs are huge. Can they be broken up a bit? It will allow the pics to be placed better also. --Eyrezer 23:05, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
   • I think I've addressed this. -- AdmirableAckbar ^(Talk) 12:05, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
     • Cheers. Sorry for the slow reply. --Eyrezer 01:50, 23 April 2008 (UTC)
5. Not an objection per se, but an image reshuffle wouldn't go amiss, and I think could improve the article's look. Some of the images aren't of the highest quality, either. -- AdmirableAckbar ^(Talk) 12:05, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
   • • Addressed, Ackbar. Thanks for looking.