- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Zorba Desilijic Tiure
- Nominated by: -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 14:47, 14 June 2008 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: A-haw-haw-haw-haw!!
(5 Inqs/1 User/6 Total)
Support
Greyman(Talk) 01:05, 20 June 2008 (UTC)
Ugh. Atarumaster88 (Talk page) 20:36, 30 June 2008 (UTC)
Cavalier One(Squadron channel) 07:59, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
Thefourdotelipsis 01:40, 12 July 2008 (UTC)- Well done, unusual choice Enochf 18:27, 17 July 2008 (UTC)
Toprawa and Ralltiir 12:33, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
Oppose
- From the desk of Atarumaster88
"in supposed Emperor Trioculus's captivity." Please clarify this. (intro)- Not sure exactly what you mean, but I've clarified somewhat.
- I didn't know if she was supposedly in captivity or that Trioculus was supposed to be Emperor. You fixed it at any rate. Atarumaster88
(Talk page) 20:36, 30 June 2008 (UTC)
- I didn't know if she was supposedly in captivity or that Trioculus was supposed to be Emperor. You fixed it at any rate. Atarumaster88
- Not sure exactly what you mean, but I've clarified somewhat.
"She had in fact survived, but Zorba captured Organa brought her to Tatooine, planning to feed her to the sarlacc." Huh?- Missing an "and."
"Zorba regained leadership of the Desilijic clan, but Jabba's will was later declared a forgery by the Hutt Grand Council; " Context?- I...don't know what kind of context you're looking for. Both Desilijic and the will have already been mentioned in the intro, and there's not really any more context for the Hutt Grand Council.
- Given that I have no idea what I was seeing there, objection has been struck. Atarumaster88
(Talk page) 20:36, 30 June 2008 (UTC)
- Given that I have no idea what I was seeing there, objection has been struck. Atarumaster88
- I...don't know what kind of context you're looking for. Both Desilijic and the will have already been mentioned in the intro, and there's not really any more context for the Hutt Grand Council.
I don't like the firstborn speculation. Please cut it.- Eh, fair enough. Axed.
"Probably accurate"? Speculation must die.- It's not speculation; it's what the source says.
- Eh . . . I've reworded it. See if that works. Atarumaster88
(Talk page) 20:36, 30 June 2008 (UTC)
- Eh . . . I've reworded it. See if that works. Atarumaster88
- It's not speculation; it's what the source says.
- Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88
(Talk page) 17:28, 30 June 2008 (UTC)
- From the squadron briefing of Cavalier One
From the Clan Leader section - "he had two younger brothers". Since Hutts are hermaphodrites, should this actually be siblings?- Yep, and changed, though I will point out that canon does often refer to them as "brothers."
"At some point during his stay on Kip, Zorba briefly conversed with an Imperial grand moff; the two were at odds, though, as the grand moff did share Zorba's high opinion of Hutts and their culture." I assume that this should read "did not share" but don't have access to the required source to check.- Yeah, you're right; fixed.
Is Isard ever directly refered to as Empress? I thought she retained the title of Director while ruling the Empire.- I believe she is referred to as such in Evil Never Dies: The Sith Dynasties, though this is somewhat at odds with other sources. I included it because the alternative is a little more clunky, but I've no problem changing it, and have done.
"Zorba was not admitted the passkey into Jabba's penthouse suite that he demanded." This sentence seems like it has some missing from it, or something left in from a previous revision.- Cavalier One(Squadron channel) 13:22, 8 July 2008 (UTC)- Changed it around a little; hopefully it reads better now. Thanks for the review. :-) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:09, 9 July 2008 (UTC)
- Toprawa:
You're missing SWE from your source list, which has an entry for Zorba and his ship, and since the book has a tendency to include little tidbits of new information, please check for such.Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:32, 12 July 2008 (UTC)- Added to source list, but there's no new info.
This is a rather substantial jump between Zorba thinking her dead and all of a sudden he's captured her. I would like to see this transition smoothed out a little bit to maybe replace the "She had in fact survived" by something detailing how he learned of her survival: "Zorba emerged on top, and believed he had killed Organa after destroying an Imperial factory barge. She had in fact survived, but Zorba captured Organa and brought her to Tatooine- Better now?
I'm unclear on this. What is his false body, exactly? His body in the carbonite slab? "Shortly thereafter, members of the Central Committee of Grand Moffs rescued Trioculus's false body"- Clarified some.
The Later Life paragraph gets kind of confusing. Specifically:I thought Trioculus and the Committee were friends, since they rescued him? "Zorba hoped to sell the Prophets what little information he knew of Trioculus's plans to get his revenge on the Committee."- This comes from sloppy pronoun usage on my part; now clarified.
What trial? Greater explanation for what led to this, please: "he was able to provide a testimony—via recording—in the trial of the Grand Moffs."- Added a brief explanation.
I'm not sure you can perish on Yavin, considering it's a gas giant. Yavin 4, do you mean? Please specify if so, and link: "Hissa perished on Yavin"- Fixed.
This doesn't seem right to me. If all of the Moffs were disposed of in one way or another, how did his plan fail? "Zorba left Space Station Scardia, and with his revenge plot foiled,"- Well, it was referring to his revenge plot to kill Leia. I've clarified this in the article.
Should the DE endnotes not have a (First mentioned) tag?- Hmmm. Now that you mention it...I looked it up and the endnotes issue he's mentioned in came out a month before Revenge. Strange. Added the tag.
If he's in the Visual Dictionary, he's probably in the CVD too. Please check.Toprawa and Ralltiir 14:08, 12 July 2008 (UTC)- Broox checked, and he's in there. Thanks for the review. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:44, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 12:33, 18 July 2008 (UTC)