Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Sylvar

< Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Sylvar

(7 Inqs/4 Users/11 Total)

Support

  1. Inqvote Graestan Jedi Order (This party's over) 04:44, 23 September 2007 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Greyman(Paratus) 19:12, 25 September 2007 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Thefourdotelipsis 00:33, 26 September 2007 (UTC)
  4. Very interesting. Chack Jadson Talk 00:35, 26 September 2007 (UTC)
  5. Hobbes15(Tiger Headquarters) 21:10, 27 September 2007 (UTC)
  6. Livingston (The Force will be with you. Always.) 16:31, 2 October 2007 (UTC)
  7. -- AdmirableAckbar [Talk] 07:48, 4 October 2007 (UTC)
  8. Inqvote Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 04:49, 7 October 2007 (UTC)
  9. Inqvote —Xwing328(Talk) 19:19, 8 October 2007 (UTC)
  10. Inqvote Cull Tremayne 01:02, 9 October 2007 (UTC)
  11. Inqvote Imperialles 14:22, 12 October 2007 (UTC)

Oppose

  1. "As the Sith Lords departed the Hall, Sylvar was comforted by Nomi and Cay. Her master was no more." - This strikes me as the wrong tone. Also, a few sentences earlier, you call Kun's powers "Impressive". Which strikes me as POV. Thefourdotelipsis 09:11, 24 September 2007 (UTC)
  2. The sentence "It is a true testament to his highly developed dueling skills that Ulic Qel-Droma was able to hold off Sylvar's attacks without having access to the force" in Powers and Abilities seems out of place. I know what you mean, but it sounds like you're talking about Ulic. Rephrase it, and you'll have my support. Chack Jadson Talk 19:08, 24 September 2007 (UTC)
  3. From the lair of Hobbes15
    • In the intro, "cruelly" seems like POV to me.
    • Also in the intro, can a little more mention be given on Crado's death, and the squabbling and such that took place causing it (i.e. Ambria and Ossus detail)
    • And finally, mention Qel-Droma's death in the intro, as it's pretty important in the last part of Sylvar's story.
      • Sentence added; though it does kill the flow and effect of the intro.—Graestan Jedi Order (This party's over) 13:50, 26 September 2007 (UTC)
        • Hmmm... I guess you're right. If you don't think it should be there, feel free to take it out, cause it does kind of sound better without it.
    • In the first paragraph of The Great Sith War, was Sylvar on Ossus during these events?
      • It is not said. She is nowhere to be seen. I wasn't going to make a conjecture statement regarding her whereabouts.—Graestan Jedi Order (This party's over) 13:50, 26 September 2007 (UTC)
        • No problem, then.
    • "... but someone else did not" (The Trial of Ulic Qel-Droma)? Who?
      • Master Vodo. Read the first sentence of the next paragraph. It's a stylistic thing.—Graestan Jedi Order (This party's over) 13:50, 26 September 2007 (UTC)
        • Yes, I know, but from what I know of TOTJ, Vodo had very little to do with Qel-Droma in that scene, focusing his attention on Kun. It says Cay refused to kill his brother, but someone else did not— not Kun. Hobbes15(Tiger Headquarters) 21:43, 26 September 2007 (UTC)
    • That's all on this one, Graestan. Glad I could get the critique to you before your vacation. And I like the P&A quote. ;) . Much more interesting story than Crado, in my opinion. Good work. Hobbes15(Tiger Headquarters) 04:57, 26 September 2007 (UTC)
  4. Could a brief mention of Vodo's attempts to shield Kun with the lightside en route to Deneba be mentioned, and Sylvar's coming to his aid? Other than that, an excellent read; good work.-- AdmirableAckbar [Talk] 15:29, 26 September 2007 (UTC)
  5. From the battered desk of Atarumaster88
    • Let's shorten the end of the intro enough. It's enough to know that Qel-Droma's death was instrumental in redeeming her. Save the heavy detail for the main body.
      • I think the new version is better; take a look.
    • Crado gave? (2nd para of The Krath conflict) I've never read TOTJ but this makes no sense.
      • Clarified/reworded.
    • Powers and abilities- it would be nice if it had some information on other things besides her ability to kick butt. Is she a noted Force user? Does she have any particular Cathar hunting abilities?
      • Section on her tracking and stealth skills added. Great idea; thanks.
    • Reword last sentence of third paragraph of The Great Sith War. It reads awkwardly. And "ready as ever" sounds so cheesy in this context.
      • Is the new one better?
    • Reduce redundancy in the Conclave on Exis Station section. 1st Para: Sylvar was pissed at Ulic. 3rd para: Sylvar told everyone exactly how pissed she was at Ulic.
      • Taken care of.
    • While the piece/peace alliteration is quite clever, I don't think that sentence belongs in there. I don't think she was searching for peace. She was searching for vengeance.
      • See what I've added instead. Wow, that was very limerickish of me.
    • Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 23:10, 6 October 2007 (UTC)
  6. A few image objections:
    Other than that, excellent work. You'll have my support once these minor issues have been corrected. --Imperialles 13:25, 8 October 2007 (UTC)

Comments

Approved by Inquisitorius 18:23, 12 October 2007 (UTC)