Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Suprema

< Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Suprema

(5 Inqs/1 User/6 Total)

Support

  1. Also this guy. Cull Tremayne 01:56, 20 April 2008 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote -- Darth Culator (Talk) 05:13, 25 April 2008 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Cull gives me a new appreciation for Marvel. Toprawa and Ralltiir 16:53, 26 April 2008 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Thefourdotelipsis 08:56, 28 April 2008 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Graestan(Talk) 20:47, 2 May 2008 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote Mandalorian enslavement. I can get behind a cause like that. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 19:04, 3 May 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

  1. From the Merciless Hammer of Toprawa:
    • Clausal disagreement. This is essentially saying that the Gektl commander turned himself into himself. Please reword: "After surrendering himself to Major Rahz, the Gektl commander took Za before"
    • You didn't source the paragraph beginning "Trapped." There's a [source?] tag for your convenience
      • Dumb oversight. :P Added. Cull Tremayne 02:12, 26 April 2008 (UTC)
    • I'm not sure whether you mean to say two wounds here or not. At any rate, "were" doesn't match the singular "wound.": "The wound that Dala had sustained were near-fatal" Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:04, 25 April 2008 (UTC)
      • Wow...that is sad on my part. Changed to "was". Thanks for the review. Cull Tremayne 02:12, 26 April 2008 (UTC)
  2. Last portion of "Uprising" and the section titled "Death" should probably be merged into one, somewhat less play-by-play, section. Please summarize more; the detail is a bit extensive, overstepping comprehensiveness. Graestan(Talk) 20:04, 2 May 2008 (UTC)
  3. From the desk of Atarumaster88
    • Link to Imperial invasion please. Making an article for it would be a plus.
      • Umm...what am I linking?
      • Hopefully you meant the invasion on Kar'a'katok. I made an article on the event and linked to it.
    • "Proved incredibly successful" is POV.
      • Removed "incredibly".
    • "During the meeting, they were interrupted by Dengar who was going back into the field to attempt to capture Shysa once again. The Suprema wished Dengar luck and turned back to his prisoner, delighted over the turn of events." Surely there is a more concise way of phrasing this; most of it is not relevant to the Suprema.
      • Suggestions? I think it's relevant that the Suprema was informed of Dengar's actions, because it influenced his following decision to send Leia to the detention cells rather than continue to interrogate her. Because I'm mentioning that Suprema was pleased that his operation was running so smoothly, I think one sentence regarding Dengar's actions and his report is relevant. I'm not sure how much more concise I can phrase this without losing the relevance, especially since it's only two sentences. Though if you have a clearer but shorter way to reword this, I'm open to changing it.
      • Merged sentences.
    • "However, the Suprema proved somewhat excitable, even drooling at one point during his interrogation of Organa". That doesn't seem like the best way to convince me that he's excitable. If the "text" states that he is, or he displays less veiled indications, then keep it in. Drop it if not.
      • Drooling doesn't suggest excitability? You're going to have to explain this one to me.
    • "The Suprema was quite tall, towering over average Humans, and had a large snout that helped his formidable appearance." This doesn't seem pertinent to personality or traits.
      • Traits=Distinguishing characteristics. Those are two of his distinguishing characteristics.
      • Eh, removed.
    • Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 23:30, 2 May 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 19:12, 3 May 2008 (UTC)