Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Rys

< Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Rys

  • Nominated by: Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:39, August 31, 2016 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Apparently I can't count

(3 Inqs/5 Users/8 Total)

(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. Cevan IMPpress (talk) 21:45, October 27, 2016 (UTC)
  2. Emperor Jarjarkine MP-Mandalorian Senate Hall 21:57, October 27, 2016 (UTC)
  3. Eddiebox28 (talk) 17:41, December 30, 2016 (UTC)
  4. Nice work! - Pyke syndicate AV-6R7Crew Pit 15:02, February 7, 2017 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote 1358 (Talk) 22:01, September 29, 2017 (UTC)
  6. Great work!--Vitus InfinitusTalk 13:10, January 20, 2018 (UTC)
  7. Inqvote Supreme Emperor (talk) 16:57, March 3, 2018 (UTC)
  8. Inqvote A pioneer. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 23:49, March 5, 2018 (UTC)

Object

Cevan
  • Any chance of getting a higher quality and/or larger version of File:Clones fight on Rugosa.png? Cevan IMPpress (talk) 23:13, October 26, 2016 (UTC)
    • I've uploaded an uncropped version of the shot, is that any better? Ayrehead02 (talk) 19:12, October 27, 2016 (UTC)
      • Yeah, that's definitely clearer-looking. Cevan IMPpress (talk) 21:45, October 27, 2016 (UTC)
  • Could you add in that Rys was a clone of Jango at the beginning of the biography section? Also, the info about Rys being born on Kamino will need to have a citation for Episode II or the Clone Troopers Databank entry, and the bit about the Coruscant Guard operating on Coruscant will need to have a citation for something else as well. Cevan IMPpress (talk) 23:13, October 26, 2016 (UTC)
Ecks Dee
  • I'd like to see the intro condensed a bit. The article isn't that long and Rys is only mentioned in the last sentence of the second paragraph of the intro.
    • Done. How's it look? Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:30, September 21, 2017 (UTC)
  • "Rys was assigned as a clone shock trooper" You're assigned to something, not as, so you'll have to change something here. You could say he was assigned to the Coruscant Guard, but this needs some restructuring.
  • "In the year 22 BBY,[4] Rys was one of three clones from the Guard picked to accompany the" I think you should introduce the two other clones here instead of later on.
  • "a moon close to the planet Toydaria." It's been too long since I saw "Ambush", but can this be sourced to the episode itself? If not, Rugosa's DB entry would work.
    • I thought it was in the opening narration but apparently not, fixed. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:30, September 21, 2017 (UTC)
  • "and as they opened fire on Yoda" This sounds like the clones opened fire on Yoda.
  • Rys isn't even mentioned in the last paragraph of the bio. You'll need to use something like "Rys and his squadmates" or something instead of just "the clone troopers".
  • The IMDb reference requires a backup link.
    • Replaced with a better reference more consistent with other status articles. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:30, September 21, 2017 (UTC)
  • Nine years since TCW premiered, damn... 1358 (Talk) 19:07, September 21, 2017 (UTC)
    • Sadly there's nothing I can do to change the passage of time. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:30, September 21, 2017 (UTC)
  • "picked up by Republic forces arriving to reinforce them." The reinforcement part is technically exclusive to the introduction right now—and I don't even remember if the episode established whether they were there as reinforcement or just to pick them up—so you could probably just remove it altogether.
  • Reference 1 talks about his place of birth, but is also used for referencing other things, like his height. You'll need to reword it or use separate references.
  • Reference 6 has some funky italics right now and the SW.com link should probably include a backup link to be on the safe side. 1358 (Talk) 22:18, September 21, 2017 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • The second subsection could probably hold another image. Any good ones? Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 03:16, October 12, 2017 (UTC)
  • The P/T could probably hold an image as well. Maybe a shot of the three clones sitting together in the cave with Yoda? Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 22:04, March 4, 2018 (UTC)
  • I guess we're listing first-generation TCW episode guides for Canon articles now, so you should check to see if that needs to be included in the Sources list. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:05, March 5, 2018 (UTC)
SE
  • Under "Journey to meet Katuunko" can you find a way to reword the second paragraph? As is, it feels very play by play to me. Supreme Emperor (talk) 06:26, January 26, 2018 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 23:49, March 5, 2018 (UTC)

  • Someone added Diplomatic service to his affiliations, you'll probably have to work it into the article or remove it entirely, didn't want to add as an objection but thought I'd let you know --Lewisr (talk) 10:16, December 23, 2017 (UTC)
    • I've added it to the body for now, although given that it's only mentioned in a concept art caption I'm slightly dubious. Ayrehead02 (talk) 13:56, December 23, 2017 (UTC)