Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Rukil

< Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Rukil

  • Nominated by: Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 20:37, July 4, 2011 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: My first Featured Article nomination.

(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)

Support

  1. Pre-nom review. Kilson(Let's have a chat) 22:31, July 4, 2011 (UTC)
  2. I don't usually review FAN, but I came out to review your first one since I'm getting ready to produce my first FA. Good job EJ! Cal JediInfinite Empire (Personal Comm Channel) 15:30, August 1, 2011 (UTC)
  3. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 17:41, August 25, 2011 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 10:44, September 1, 2011 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Menkooroo 04:48, September 23, 2011 (UTC)
  6. Was bit unsure with extraneous details, but with Menk's help they're sorted. (: –Tm_T (Talk) 07:14, September 23, 2011 (UTC)
  7. Inqvote CC7567 (talk) 03:18, October 1, 2011 (UTC)

Object

Tm
  • One for now, please give some timeframe for him right near the beginning of the intro.
    • Good catch, fixed.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 12:12, July 5, 2011 (UTC)
      • Lived (only) on that year? Would be better if you could give some era, like "during the old sith wars" or something more suitable instead of hard date. (: –Tm_T (Talk) 12:34, July 5, 2011 (UTC)
  • Good work with all pre-nom objections already. (: –Tm_T (Talk) 06:31, July 5, 2011 (UTC)
  • There's some monstrous sentences like "As the years went by, however, fewer of the Outcasts believed his tales of the Promised Land, and by 3,956 BBY, when the village was led by a male Human named Gendar, Rukil's apprentice, Malya, who continued his work because Rukil was too old to do it himself, was the only one who truly believed him." See if you can make them more reader friendly. (: –Tm_T (Talk) 19:59, September 4, 2011 (UTC)
    • I broke up several long sentences. Are there anymore that you find too long, or did I get them all?--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 16:58, September 6, 2011 (UTC)
      • Uh, you created some double linking'n'stuff, review your edit. (: –Tm_T (Talk) 19:14, September 6, 2011 (UTC)
  • I don't think you can use 4056 BBY as a hard date, so "around" or "circa" or along those lines?
  • Hmm, Rukils father and grandfather weren't lost in the ruins, were they?
    • Well, when you look for their journals you find them on a couple of skeletons, which in my opinion means that they died away from the village, which means that they went missing.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 16:20, September 8, 2011 (UTC)
  • Didn't spot anything else now, looking quite good. (: –Tm_T (Talk) 19:14, September 6, 2011 (UTC)
    • Thanks, writing FAs is a lot harder than the CAs and GAs that I have written before.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 16:20, September 8, 2011 (UTC)
Images
  • If images of the article's subject are available, it's always better to include those images rather than images of other people. As this guy's from a video game, screenshots could provide more than an adequate number of images of him. If you're unable to do this, there are others who you could ask for help. I think Tm would be able to. And he's a nice guy, too, so definitely ask him. :) Menkooroo 05:18, July 10, 2011 (UTC)
    • Ok, I will ask Tm_T to get shots of Rukil, but I have a question before I do this. What kind of images do you want me to get of Rukil? He doesn't do a whole lot of exciting things in the game, so his images will all be very similiar. Any suggestions for good images would be appreciated.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 12:00, July 10, 2011 (UTC)
      • Try to make them as different as possible, I guess. Maybe ones of him talking, or gesturing, or getting angry, or something? Menkooroo 06:09, July 12, 2011 (UTC)
        • I'll take plenty of them so there's enough where to choose from. –Tm_T (Talk) 06:35, July 12, 2011 (UTC)
      • Thanks Tm, I really appreciate your help.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 12:20, July 12, 2011 (UTC)
Cal's here
  • Just a couple of small things.
  • One:"they encountered Shaleena, who mentioned Rukil and his stories about the Promised Land. The two of them sought out Rukil and talked to him" makes it sound like Revan and Shaleena talked to Rukil. Is that what happened? It's been a while since I've played this part. Either way it's supposed to be, you should make it more clearer who was talking to Rukil.
  • Two:The second paragraph hasn't been completely sourced. I would normally just do it, but I wanted to make sure that I wasn't sourcing it to the wrong thing. Cal JediInfinite Empire (Personal Comm Channel) 02:46, August 1, 2011 (UTC)
    • Did I get it? I found one paragraph that wasn't completely sources and fixed it.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 03:28, August 1, 2011 (UTC)
      • Yep, that was my mistake for not explaining it better. I meant to say "the second paragraph of the Later Years section". Good job on your first FA! Cal JediInfinite Empire (Personal Comm Channel) 15:29, August 1, 2011 (UTC)
Cav
  • Some quotes need to be checked to see if they comply with WP:DASH in the usage of the dash.
  • Please check if "Attack on the Endar Spire" is the official name for the incident. If not, then "Attack" should be decapitalized as it is a conjectural title.
  • Also, some more context on the nature of the attack on the Endar Spire would be appreciated. - Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 11:34, August 3, 2011 (UTC)
QGJ
  • Context on Revan upon first mention in the intro and the body.
  • In the intro, you say the village was led by Hendar. In the main body, however, it's Gendar.
  • There's a lot of back and forth between the past and present tenses in "alternate stories," which makes it a bit hard to read.
  • When talking about the CSWE in Bts, I was advised that giving credit to Sansweet and Hidalgo as the authors of the encyclopedia would be technically incorrect, as there were many other people working on it, and we don't know which one of them compiled Rukil's entry. It is best not to list the authors at all.
  • That's all. Good work. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 17:56, August 13, 2011 (UTC)
Tears in Heaven
  • Ref [2] (NECage) should be used in the infobox too.
  • In the intro's second paragraph, after the Sith attacked the Endar Spire, the ship Shan and Revan served on. seems like a bit of a tangent. Do you think it's necessary info for the intro? Noting that Revan is searching for Bastila might be enough info for the purposes of the intro.
  • The intro states that Rukil only took up the quest for the Promised Land after his dad and grandddad died, but the body has him beginning his own quest while they're still alive. Which is the case?
    • I think he took on the quest after his dad and granddad died. Here is a quote from KOTOR that I based my reasoning on:
      • "For many years I searched for the Promised Land, just as my grandfather and father did before me." -- Rukil
    • What do you think about this? I do not think that there are any other quotes that speak of this.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 04:41, September 21, 2011 (UTC)
      • That seems like solid reasoning. The bit in the bio about him searching should only be brought up after the mention of the others' disappearance, then.
  • This is admittedly pretty minor and nit-picky, but "talking to" is used thrice in quote attributions --- to keep things fun, could one of them be changed to something like "telling" or something?
  • The mention of the "village children" kinda comes out of nowhere; it's kind of like "Wait, what village? Does Rukil live there?" Can you make it a bit more explicit that he does? Menkooroo 03:57, September 21, 2011 (UTC)
    • Is this what you were looking for?--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 04:41, September 21, 2011 (UTC)
      • Yes! Be sure to link Outcast village on the first mention, though. :) Menkooroo 04:52, September 21, 2011 (UTC)
        • It is linked on the line above.--03:53, September 23, 2011 (UTC)
  • Some of the recounting of dialogue in "The arrival of Revan" seems play-by-play and could really stand to be pared down. Particularly when it concerns lines not spoken by Rukil or conversations that Rukil wasn't even a part of. Most of the third paragraph (from the beginning up to and informing Revan that Rukil could not pay him) could be condensed to a sentence or two, else this part of the article read more like a recount of Revan's quest than a biography of Rukil. Try to get the key points across, ie Igear offering Revan a reward in order to keep the Promised Land from being discovered. Things like "when Igear heard about it, he was very worried about the discovery of the Promised Land" aren't all that necessary, especially when that info's already been established earlier in the article.
    • Any better?--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 03:53, September 23, 2011 (UTC)
      • Yes! You did really well on this one. Good job.
  • The fourth-paragraph sentence beginning with "Gendar stated that although the journey to the Promised Land..." also strikes me as extraneous and too-detailed info, especially since it's not coming from Rukil. It might be necessary info, but there are better ways to get it across than "Gendar said..."
  • In all, I recommend combing over the entire section and looking for detailed accounts of conversations that could be trimmed in order to only present the key points of the conversation. Keep in mind that "John felt bad" is better to say than "John said he felt bad," so as to avoid recounting lines of dialogue. Menkooroo 05:08, September 21, 2011 (UTC)
    • I think I trimmed a fair amount from the Arrival of Revan section if that is what you mean.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 03:53, September 23, 2011 (UTC)
  • The P&t paragraph is pretty big; it could use a break halfway through.
  • I'm not crazy about the third sentence of "Behind the scenes" as it's written. "Personality & traits" takes care to mention that he merely claims that he can sense things, but now BTS is outright saying that he can. If that sentence is going to be in BTS, I'd like to see it jive more with the P&T wording, which leaves open the possibility that he's just boasting or senile or something.
  • Ref [5] mentions "Luke" without a link, last name, or context. This'll have to be remedied; alternatively, simly reffing Empire without the explanatory note would be sufficient.
  • As the first part of BTS is in present tense ("gives a quest," "has the ability," etc), I think the "Alternate stories" should stay consistent with it. Also worth noting is that the game can still be played, so saying "The player has the option" rather than "The player had the option" is a little more accurate, too. Thoughts?
    • I think I changed everything in the Behind the scenes to present tense.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 03:53, September 23, 2011 (UTC)
  • That's all I have! Really good work for a first FAnom. Menkooroo 05:33, September 21, 2011 (UTC)
    • Excellent stuff. There's just one more remaining objection. Third from the top. Menkooroo 03:59, September 23, 2011 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone
  • One really quick objection as I'm starting to read through the article: the infobox and the first part of the Bio are a little inconsistent as to Rukil's relation to Taris. The infobox indicates that Taris is his homeworld, but the "Early life" section states that it was his birth world, which are not necessarily the same thing. Since the two terms are not always interchangeable, proper citation is needed to define them as such, at least to say that an individual's homeworld is also his/her birth world. Could you double-check the source material and adjust the article to properly match whatever is stated in the sources? CC7567 (talk) 04:46, September 30, 2011 (UTC)
    • I checked and it never really says that Rukil was born on Taris it just says that he was among those exiled to the Undercity, so I changed the article to say that he was born before 4,056 BBY and that he was living on Taris around the year 4,056 BBY. Is this what you wanted, or did you want me to clearly say that Taris was his homeworld?--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 19:09, September 30, 2011 (UTC)
      • Ummm... it now longer says that the Tarisian Civil War happened circa 4,056 BBY. I think that we should say that this happened around 4,056 BBY so that we have some time frame for the events in his early life. Without the date you have no idea when his exile occured since early in his life is a fairly large time frame, while around 4,056 BBY is in my opinion considerably less. What do you think of my reasoning?--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 03:35, October 1, 2011 (UTC)
        • Is this the correction you were looking for? Sorry; in my haste to be concise, I removed that important bit of info. Hopefully it'll be good now. CC7567 (talk) 03:39, October 1, 2011 (UTC)

Comments

  • If anyone wonders why the voice actor isn't listed, it is because I could not find the voice actor for Rukil after a search of the internet and the game manual. His voice actor is probably listed in the additional voices section of the manual. If anyone has any information please leave me a message here or on my talk page.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 20:37, July 4, 2011 (UTC)

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 15:20, October 1, 2011 (UTC)