- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Ronderu lij Kummar
- Nominated by: -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 15:19, 14 December 2008 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: A really neat character who may well be marginalized by later stuff.
(5 Inqs/0 Users/5 Total)
Support
I FA'd Grievous, after all. Chack Jadson (Talk) 20:18, 15 December 2008 (UTC)- Cull Tremayne 18:16, 13 January 2009 (UTC)
- I remember when rock was young, me and Susie had so much fun... Thefourdotelipsis 05:58, 21 January 2009 (UTC)
I made a tiny addition to the entry, though feel free to revert me if I'm outta line. --Imperialles 12:25, 26 January 2009 (UTC)- —Tommy9281 (Peace is a lie) 14:54, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
Object
"Jenuwaa dragged her body out to see" Is it supposed to be "sea"? Also, I think you may want to change the wording, since it took me a minute to realize that the Jenuwaa was not a species. Otherwsie, very well done. I sure hope TCW doesn't destroy her character.Chack Jadson (Talk) 16:41, 14 December 2008 (UTC)- Whoops. Reworded for clarity. Thanks; I hope so too. :-) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 18:06, 14 December 2008 (UTC)
File:Rond.jpg and File:QymaenRonderuHuks.jpg are somewhat distorted—rescan. --Imperialles 16:08, 23 December 2008 (UTC)- Much better now, courtesy of Joe Corroney's website. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 00:25, 10 January 2009 (UTC)
- Yuhp
Last sentence in the first section. "She became known as the Kummar, or the Incubus." Is this related in some way to the earlier sentence about possibly killing her family? Either way, can we get some transition into this sentence? Or maybe an explanation for how she got this nickname?- There's no real explanation or elaboration about how or why she got the name, merely that she did.
- Still wouldn't mind a better transition, rather than just having a throwaway sentence. But since there's no further info, what can you do? :P
- There's no real explanation or elaboration about how or why she got the name, merely that she did.
Somewhat related to the earlier objection. In the second section: "Because of the nature of their introduction to each other, it was believed that they were living manifestations of the cryptic parable Sheelal, or The Dreamer/The Dreamt One." Are you sure that Grievous was a living manifestation of the parable "Sheelal"? I was under the impression that it was called "Sheelal" in tribute as a result of Grievous' exploits? Not true? If so, that's a pretty big coincidence that he embodied the legend of his namesake. If it is the case that the legend was named after Grievous, then how could Ronderu become known as the "Kummar"? She became known as her last name? Maybe this is just me misunderstanding Kaleesh culture, but it gets a bit confusing for the reader, with nicknames popping up that are quite similar to the actual character's names. If it has more to do with Ronderu "earning" her last name, I wouldn't mind having that spelled out in the article.- Good points. The problem is that the articles keep it very vague. I think the implication is that Grievous got the name "Sheelal" from the parable, and Ronderu the name "Kummar" from her nickname, so they were sort of titles and weren't named that from birth. I've changed the article to reflect this. It's probably a little bit confusing, still, but let me know what you think.
- Works a bit better. Nothing you can do when the source material is being intentionally vague. Cull Tremayne 18:16, 13 January 2009 (UTC)
- Good points. The problem is that the articles keep it very vague. I think the implication is that Grievous got the name "Sheelal" from the parable, and Ronderu the name "Kummar" from her nickname, so they were sort of titles and weren't named that from birth. I've changed the article to reflect this. It's probably a little bit confusing, still, but let me know what you think.
Related to the earlier objection, is there no article for the parable of "The Dreamer/The Dreamt One"? If not, a redlink to such an article should probably be made. Cull Tremayne 17:12, 13 January 2009 (UTC)- Redlinked. Thanks for the review. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 17:40, 13 January 2009 (UTC)
- Nice job. Cull Tremayne 18:16, 13 January 2009 (UTC)
- Redlinked. Thanks for the review. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 17:40, 13 January 2009 (UTC)
"Ronderu was a female Kaleesh native to Kalee, though her kin knew precious little other than that; some even questioned that she ever existed." - Is kin really the suitable word here? If your kin doubt you exist, I'd say you're in trouble, existence-wise. :P Thefourdotelipsis 11:20, 19 January 2009 (UTC)- Altered a little bit. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 16:41, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
Comments
- Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 15:15, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
- I know from conversing with Abel at Celebration IV that Ronderu is at least partly based on Enkidu, the ambiguous wildman companion of Gilgamesh. Alas, I don't know if this detail is online anywhere; according to the last couple of sentences of this blog of Abel's, it's due to be a blog of its own someday, but alas, that day has not yet come. Might be worth rummaging around to see if you can find something on it elsewhere on the net, though. jSarek 11:42, 21 January 2009 (UTC)
- Fascinating. Found it here (it'll only be the correct link if you're logged out or have whatever PPP settings logged out users have) and have added to the BtS. Let me know if there's any errors or additional things that should be added. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 15:15, 26 January 2009 (UTC)