Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Rivoche Tarkin (second nomination)

< Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Rivoche Tarkin

  • Nominated by: jSarek 02:40, June 19, 2010 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Now that I'm not so swamped with real world work, let's try this again: I present to you Voren Na'al's wife! I believe I have corrected all outstanding objections from the previous nomination attempt. jSarek 02:40, June 19, 2010 (UTC)

(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)

Support

  1. I guess this constitutes a pre-nom review. :P Thefourdotelipsis 02:43, June 19, 2010 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Four Tarkins down, two to go. Xicer9Atgar(Combadge) 16:59, June 19, 2010 (UTC)
  3. Imperialles 15:23, June 21, 2010 (UTC)
  4. Xicer should write the big Tarkin. :P JangFett (Talk) 03:23, June 22, 2010 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Chack Jadson (Talk) 14:43, June 24, 2010 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote — Fiolli {Alpheridies University ComNet} 17:25, June 28, 2010 (UTC)
  7. Menkooroo 05:04, July 2, 2010 (UTC)

Object

Xicer
  • Intro: "This information saved a number of Duros insurgents" Please make it clear that the insurgents were the targets of an Imperial attack, as you stated in the bio. This would clarify why the information would save their lives and why the Alliance would be helping them.
    • Fixed.
  • Early years: "Rivoche Tarkin was the daughter of Brigadier Gideon Tarkin, a New Order loyalist with an impressive military record." "Impressive" sounds POV. Could you rephrase?
    • See if this works better.
  • An article for her brooch should at least be redlinked if not created. It appears to have its own mini section in CRO.
    • Done, and extra information added to this article. I will hopefully have the redlink count back down by the time you re-review this.
  • Deep-cover agent: "Knowing that Darklighter had "questionable" friends" It would be less confusing to simply state that Biggs had connections with the Alliance, otherwise I have no idea who you're referring to when you say "'questionable' friends."
    • Reworded.
  • Deep-cover agent: "Following the death of her uncle aboard the Death Star in 0 ABY" Wouldn't this be 0 BBY?
    • Oddly enough, it seems so.
  • Extraction: Is it "commando" or "Commando"?
    • Alas, it seems it's lowercase. It was fixed in the link but apparently not elsewhere.
  • New Republic reporter: Context needed on Demolinn and Greybird.
    • Context added.
  • Good work, an interesting read. Xicer9Atgar(Combadge) 06:28, June 19, 2010 (UTC)
    • Thanks. :-) Also, a question for you down in the Comments. jSarek 09:07, June 19, 2010 (UTC)
Imperialles
  • Extraction: "but unfortunately for them, Sollaine and a squad of Storm commandos arrived"—"unfortunately" is arguably POV; at the very least flowery.
    • Fixed.
  • New Republic reporter: "Fortunately for the Liberator survivors" Same thing here.
    • Also fixed.
  • That's it. Very well written. --Imperialles 17:27, June 19, 2010 (UTC)
    • Thanks. :-) jSarek 02:53, June 21, 2010 (UTC)
Ferg
  • Maybe a brief explanation as to how Luke managed to set the Star Destroyer down? It kind of reads like he did it with his hands. Menkooroo 05:14, June 30, 2010 (UTC)
    • According to peoples, this is not specified in the source. Thefourdotelipsis 02:43, July 2, 2010 (UTC)
    • Silly 4dot. Yes it is. Added now. Thefourdotelipsis 02:52, July 2, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

  • Xicer9, I noticed you changed the Dark Empire link to the first issue, so I'm assuming you have a way of telling where the various issues start and end (unlike me, who must make do with the trade paperback). Do you know if Solo returning to Da Soocha with the Liberator survivors occurs in that first issue, or in the second? If the latter, I need to fix the citation for that part. jSarek 09:07, June 19, 2010 (UTC)
    • He's on his way back to Pinnacle Base at the end of the issue, but you're right, I should've sourced it to the next issue where he actually does return to Pinnacle Base with the survivors. My fault, so I've taken care it. Xicer9Atgar(Combadge) 16:59, June 19, 2010 (UTC)
      • Thank you for both checking, and for making the fix. :-) jSarek 02:53, June 21, 2010 (UTC)

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 05:28, July 2, 2010 (UTC)