Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Rawk

< Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Rawk

  • Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:46, May 19, 2010 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Probably one of the coolest Skywalkers, IMO…

(3 Inqs/7 Users/10 Total)

Support

  1. Damn, Skywalkers can grow awesome moustaches. Menkooroo 13:50, May 19, 2010 (UTC)
  2. StarNeptuneTalk to me! 16:30, May 20, 2010 (UTC)
  3. -- 1358 (Talk) 12:59, May 28, 2010 (UTC)
  4. If he isn't Sam Elliott then I don't know who is. NAYAYEN:TALK 11:58, May 30, 2010 (UTC)
  5. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 17:28, June 3, 2010 (UTC)
  6. Bel Iblis could also be Elliot, but I have decreed that he shall be Paul Newman. (Sorry Hav.) Thefourdotelipsis 02:02, June 4, 2010 (UTC)
  7. Darth Trayus(Trayus Academy) 07:33, June 7, 2010 (UTC)
  8. Inqvote Reminds me of Bobby from Supernatural. Xicer9Atgar(Combadge) 23:24, June 17, 2010 (UTC)
  9. Inqvote Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 00:05, June 18, 2010 (UTC)
  10. Inqvote CC7567 (talk) 05:40, June 18, 2010 (UTC)

Object

  • One quickie: Is Anakin Skywalker important enough to mention in the intro? -- 1358 (Talk) 14:10, May 19, 2010 (UTC)
    • It seems to be, in sources for Cade, they list Anakin and Luke as his descendants. I saw no reason not to do it in Rawk's intro.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:33, May 19, 2010 (UTC)
Star:
  • Does the Insider article explicitly say that Skeeto is Droo's child, because from the text on the Skeeto article, I was under the impression that he was adopted by both Rawk and Droo like Micah was. Judging by the context here in the Rawk article, I'm assuming Droo adopted Skeeto before she met Rawk?
  • "Rawk mantained a friendship with the Shipmaster Ure'monbarak on the planet Dac, which supported his family." How did his friendship with Shipmaster Ure'monbarak support Rawk's family? Did Ure'monbarak provide Rawk with work?
  • Why was Black Sun attacking Rawk's Nest? Was there a reason behind it?
    • The only reason given is something about them making Rawk paying them for protection; no other reason is given. Added this, please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:26, May 20, 2010 (UTC)
  • "They brought her inside and she explained to the family how she had survived the massacre" I think this sentence could use a little more elaboration, as well as maybe explaining her past connection to Cade and a brief explanation of why she was after Cade.
    • It's done, though I'm still not sure this belongs here. I don't necessarily feel this kind of info is relevant to the article, but it's your call.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:26, May 20, 2010 (UTC)
      • You may be right, but I feel it may help clarify later events, especially why Rawk and Droo would want to save Rae based on her connection to Cade. StarNeptuneTalk to me! 16:30, May 20, 2010 (UTC)
  • "...when Fel explained that Rae was an Imperial Knight, Cade tried to attack them" Okay, Cade just found out that Azlyn Rae is an Imperial Knight, but why did he try to attack the other Knights?
    • Again, it's added, but I'm still not entirely sure it's relevant.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:26, May 20, 2010 (UTC)
  • "Rawk bid his nephew farewell as Cade, his crew, Shado Vao, Rae, Draco, and Krieg departed to carry out the plan regardless." Okay, Cade was just attempting to attack the Imperial Knights, and now they are going on a mission with him? I'm confuzzled.
  • "Aware that Cade had lied about Rae wanting to live, gave Rae to Droo, and Rawk promised Cade to do whatever it took to save Rae." Maybe make a mention here that Droo asked him if Rae said she wanted to live, and he lied and said yes.
  • Okay, I think that is all. StarNeptuneTalk to me! 17:22, May 19, 2010 (UTC)
QGJ
  • In the first couple of paragraphs of the "Early life" section, could you use Nat instead of Skywalker to avoid confusion with Kol?
  • Since he is no longer affiliated with the Jedi, I believe you should use the GFFA character infobox instead of the current one.
  • Otherwise, quite good. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 10:48, May 29, 2010 (UTC)

Just one: "The two attacked each other, but quickly managed to calm down." The second part seems to me to be a rather odd way of phrasing it. If they were fighting, why would they bother trying (managed) to calm down? NAYAYEN:TALK 17:27, May 29, 2010 (UTC)

  • In the comic, after Rawk berates Cade, he punches Rawk once. Rawk does likewise, then Rawk tells the family that they'd sort it out in the morning; hence the "quickly managed to calm down" part.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 23:15, May 29, 2010 (UTC)
See, I got around to it...
  • Do you think the intro could be condensed just a tad? The level of detail there could probably be dialed down a few notches, I think. More of a general overview, I would think. Just keeping the Main page in mind, after all. ;)
    • I'm not sure how much I can cut out, I got some stuff, but I think his children need to remain, as does his ancestry, and of course context on why the Imp scouting party left. Please see what you think.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 22:27, June 3, 2010 (UTC)
      • Well, I mean, the detail of what happens in the comics could probably be cut down. Like you could generalize about the whole Azlyn Rae deal, and sort of mention that he participated in the Evacuation of Dac without providing all the context on the Final Protocol. So you could have "They were later joined by Imperial Knight Azlyn Rae, a former acquaintance of Cade's," or something like that, and for the Dac bit, you can easily just say that "Rawk later participated in the evacuation of Dac, which had been stricken by viral spores at the hands of the Sith." Leave the specifics for the article proper. Thefourdotelipsis
  • "and told Cade to leave Iego if he were to tell Rawk's children their father's reasons for leaving the Jedi." - This makes it sound as though he's saying "You can tell them, but you'll have to leave if you do." Doesn't he more... threaten Cade? My memory's foggy, but there's probably a better way to phrase that.
    • He says something like, "Droo knows, the kits don't, and if you yap, you can leave!" or something like that. Not much of a threat, I don't think.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 22:27, June 3, 2010 (UTC)
      • I would call that a thinly veiled threat, but the current wording will suffice. Thefourdotelipsis 23:07, June 3, 2010 (UTC)
  • Otherwise, an enjoyable read. Good show! Thefourdotelipsis 08:48, June 3, 2010 (UTC)
    • Thanks for the review Four Dot, glad you enjoyed it!--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 22:27, June 3, 2010 (UTC)
Trayus Academy
  • In the intro, you say that the Council refused Cade's request, but then he leaves to assassinate Krayt. You should make it clear that Cade was acting against the Council's wishes, because as of now it looks like a contradiction. Darth Trayus(Trayus Academy) 16:36, June 5, 2010 (UTC)
    • Fixed, thanks for the review, Trayus!--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 21:39, June 5, 2010 (UTC)
Proof that I didn't forget about this
  • Is it officially named the "Massacre of Ossus" or "Massacre at Ossus"? You use both in the article, but using one would be better for consistency.
  • "she further stated that she had tracked Cade to determine whether or not to turn him in for the bounty." What bounty? Please give more context.
  • "Eventually, Rawk informed Sheyf Zharia Vos, leader of the Kiffu Guardians, that the suit of prototype armor that he had been working on was finished." Can it first be stated that he actually began to work on a suit of armor? The jump to here is rather sudden and unexplained.
  • "deceiving his aunt into believing that Rae wished to live": so did she actually want to live or not? Adding something like "when in fact she did not" can clarify this.
  • Could you clarify the Clan Vos category? Was he actually a part of it? If so, that needs to be mentioned in his bio.
    • According to Zharia Vos in #34, he was due to his being married to Droo. Added to the end of the 1st paragraph.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 22:26, June 17, 2010 (UTC)
  • That's it from me. CC7567 (talk) 05:13, June 17, 2010 (UTC)
    • Thanks very much for the review, CC!--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 22:26, June 17, 2010 (UTC)
Xicer
  • Early life: Use Nat's last name when referring to him instead of his first name. You do it in the intro, but not in this section.
  • Is it "Rawk chopped special" or "Rawk-chopped special"? You seem to use both.
    • The official name appears to be the former, though in the comics they also use the latter. I replaced all instances with the former for consistency.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 22:26, June 17, 2010 (UTC)
  • Evacuation of Dac: Context needed on the Final Protocol.
    • Added context, which is provided in the following sentence--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 22:26, June 17, 2010 (UTC)
  • There's an overuse of "Rawk" in the P&A. Vary the wording please.
  • That's pretty much it, nice work. Xicer9Atgar(Combadge) 17:32, June 17, 2010 (UTC)
Jujiggum
  • Are the links in the quote under "The Hidden Temple" really needed?
    • Hmm, I don't know how those go there. I never add links to quotes. Nonetheless, they're removed.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 23:58, June 17, 2010 (UTC)
  • Perhaps a mention of his original training with the Jedi and his elevation to the rank of Jedi Master would be worth mentioning in the P&A.
  • That's all I got. Very well done overall. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 23:10, June 17, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 05:40, June 18, 2010 (UTC)