Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/R3-S6/Legends

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

R3-S6

• Nominated by: JangFett ^(Talk) 07:44, January 16, 2011 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Most likely my last TCW project for a while.

(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total)

Support

1. Happy to support the little traitorous droid. ~Savage 17:26, May 22, 2011 (UTC)
2. Rest In Peace "Macho Man" Randy Savage. One of my childhood heroes.—Tommy 9281 Sunday, May 22, 2011, 17:33 UTC
3. Cavalier One^{(Squadron channel)} 10:59, June 20, 2011 (UTC)
4. Teff 01:57, June 24, 2011 (UTC)
5. --Eyrezer 23:47, June 27, 2011 (UTC)
6. Menkooroo 03:59, July 4, 2011 (UTC)

Object

Xd1358

• "The droid was dropped off inside Skywalker's Venator-class Star Destroyer, the Resolute." Can you merge this rather short sentence with another, perhaps the previous?
• "Inside the Twilight, R3 and Tano received a transmission from R2. Skywalker ordered them to track the signal, which led the group to the moon Ruusan 2." Two choppy sentences; please merge.
• Skytop Station comes out of nowhere in the intro. Can you find a way to clarify that it's on Ruusan 2?
• More tomorrow; way too tired atm. :P 1358 ^(Talk) 20:19, January 16, 2011 (UTC)
  • All addressed; thanks, Xd. JangFett ^(Talk) 01:22, January 17, 2011 (UTC)
• "Grievous watched R3's progress and even contacted the droid at times." I don't think this can be sourced to DoaD.
  • The sourcing for the first sentence of that section wasn't right.
• "R3 was sent to his "new master" shortly after the Battle of Bothawui. During the battle, Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker lost his astromech droid, R2-D2, and needed a replacement." Choppy sentences, please merge.
• "When Skywalker arrived near his Padawan…" That is a bit awkward; "arrived near" doesn't really work. Perhaps something like "arrived in the hangar" would be better. This sentence could probably be merged with the previous one, too.
  • These should be good. JangFett ^(Talk) 01:54, January 31, 2011 (UTC)
    • Is it good? JangFett ^(Talk) 15:00, July 2, 2011 (UTC)
• "The freighter's owner, Gha Nachkt, greeted the two Jedi, and took interest in R3. The Trandoshan offered to trade a C-14 droid in exchange for R3, though Tano rejected his deal." Again two rather choppy sentences. Instead of a period, something like "…in R3, offering to trade…" could be used.
  • Remains. 1358 ^(Talk) 18:11, January 31, 2011 (UTC)
• Can you use a synonym for Skywalker in some places, like "Jedi Knight"? "Skywalker" is getting quite repetitive. Same goes for Tano.
• "After coming across a door, to which Skywalker believed R2 was being held behind…" That doesn't sound quite right. I think it should be something like "After coming across a door, behind which Skywalker believed R2 was being held…", but I'm not sure. See what you can do to it.
• "Instead, R3 activated the cargo room's lights and activated a pair of IG-86 sentinel droids." "Activated" used twice in close succession; please vary.
• IMHO, it is unencyclopedic if a paragraph begins with "But". Perhaps change it to "However"?
  • That paragraph has been checked. JangFett ^(Talk) 01:54, January 31, 2011 (UTC)
• "Although, R3, instead, activated the fighter's tracking beacon." I don't think although is the word you are looking for.
  • Seems to be there still. 1358 ^(Talk) 18:11, January 31, 2011 (UTC)
• "Though the droids were destroyed, thanks to the timely intervention of Tano and Captain CC-7567, nicknamed "Rex," onboard the Twilight." Seems like something is missing here.
• "Because Skywalker's group had to free fall down toward the listening post, Tano gave Rex the duty of carrying R3." Hmm, while I do understand what you are saying as I have seen the episode, it isn't really good. It really wasn't because a free fall jump was needed that Tano gave Rex the duty, was it? It's kinda hard to explain what I'm saying. I would suggest something like this: "As Skywalker's group had to free fall down to the listening post in order to avoid being detected, Tano tasked Rex with carrying R3 during the free fall."
  • All addressed JangFett ^(Talk) 01:54, January 31, 2011 (UTC)
• "While the two Jedi used the Force to help them descended toward the station…" This is factually incorrect; the Jedi used the Force to make their landing soft, not to descend. In addition, "descended" is currently in the wrong tense.
• "Tano ordered R3 to deactivate the shield, though B1 and B2 battle droids spotted the group." This doesn't work. The droids didn't appear because of Tano's order; that's how it currently sounds.
  • Addressed JangFett ^(Talk) 01:54, January 31, 2011 (UTC)
• Overall, there are a few more choppy and short sentences that would benefit from a merge. See if you can go through the article and merge some short ones in addition to the ones mentioned above. 1358 ^(Talk) 13:14, January 20, 2011 (UTC)
  • Thanks, Xd. I went back and gave the article another copy-edit. Let me know if you see anything else. JangFett ^(Talk) 01:54, January 31, 2011 (UTC)

Prepare to be savaged...

I'm probably going to have to take this one section by section, so here's the lead:

• "Grievous, however, confronted Tano's group, and the Padawan engaged him, although she retreated with R3 to a storage room." I think it'd be good to say briefly why Tano retreated to the closet. More later! ~ SavageBob 00:18, February 1, 2011 (UTC)
  • Addressed
• "R3 secretly underwent heavy reprogramming to become a spy for Grievous." This is a minor quibble, but this makes it sound like the droid was doing something secretive, when in fact, others were secretly doing things to him. Would it be possible to recast the sentence so that "Grievious's agents secretly reprogrammed the droid to become a spy for the general" or something?
  • Addressed
• The paragraph on how R3-S6 ended up with Anakin jumps around chronologically; first we hear the droid was assigned to Anakin, then that Anakin lost R2-D2, then that Anakin contacted the council, then that they assigned the droid to Anakin again. Could this be rewritten a bit as strictly chronological?
  • Addressed
• As I'm reading through, I'm copy editing, mainly to remove some redundant verbiage. Please feel free to restore anything you adamantly disagree with or anything that changes the meaning or misrepresents the OS. ~ SavageBob 05:05, February 1, 2011 (UTC)
• I think the "Biography" section is a bit too PBP. There's a lot of detail about which character went where to do what, when it should suffice to focus exclusively on R3 and describe his actions and reactions a bit more tightly. I can elaborate on this if you would like me to. ~ SavageBob 19:31, February 5, 2011 (UTC)
  • Should be good. R3 was with the ones mentioned as well.
• "R3 showed a lack of competence to others." Is competence the right word here? Incompetence implies the inability to do a job correctly despite wanting to, while R3 was quite competent in his assignment, which was to sabotage the Republic's efforts. So maybe, "R3 feigned a lack of competence around Republic personnel" would be more accurate?
  • That's fine
• Of course, the "Characteristics" section makes it sound like he wanted to comply with Anakin but couldn't. Is this the case? If so, this could be brought out in the main "Biography" section as well, since there, it reads more like he was creating SNAFUs on purpose.
  • It's actually mentioned in the bio. In the episodes, it was shown but not actually said R3 was doing those things to disrupt whatever Anakin wanted to do. I feel it's best to keep it within the characteristics section.
• You say R3 hid his true self from Skywalker, yet he also deliberately disobeyed the Jedi's orders. Again, was the disobeying intentional? And if he disobeyed orders, is this really hiding his true nature?
  • I removed that bit. Currently, it follows the sources better.
• "Despite his canonical death, R3 received an entry in the The Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia." I'd suggest dropping the first clause of this sentence; there are lots of dead characters in CSWE, so it's not really unusual. I wasn't sure if you need to pipelink canon and death elsewhere in the article, though.
• "The Star Wars: The Clone Wars Character Encyclopedia stated that R3 was said to have been taken to Milagro and reprogrammed in a Republic base." Does it say he was "said to have been taken" or that he "was" taken? In other words, is the CWCE treating his Milagro reprogramming as rumor, or is it asserting it as fact? "Said to" implies rumor, so I thought I'd check.
  • Both addressed. Also, after checking the guide again, it should be good now.
• That's all from me! Nice work. I like droids. ~ SavageBob 17:46, February 6, 2011 (UTC)
  • Thanks for the review, Bob. :) JangFett ^(Talk) 18:02, February 13, 2011 (UTC)
    • My pleasure. Apparently there's one appearance that needs taking care of, the silly online Clone Wars game. Once that's taken care of, I'm happy to support! ~ SavageBob 18:19, February 13, 2011 (UTC)