Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Paodok'Draba'Takat Sap'De'Rekti Nik'Linke'Ti' Ki'Vef'Nik'NeSevef'Li'Kek

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was withdrawn. Please do not modify it.

Paodok'Draba'Takat Sap'De'Rekti Nik'Linke'Ti' Ki'Vef'Nik'NeSevef'Li'Kek

  • Nominated by: Mor9347 (talk) 17:14, 25 August 2024 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: SA'KALLA!!!!!
  • Date Archived: 23:36, 25 April 2025 (UTC)
  • Final word count: 4233 words (268 introduction, 1926 body, 2039 behind the scenes)
  • Word count at nomination time: 3006 words (277 introduction, 1892 body, 837 behind the scenes)
  • WookieeProject (optional):

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)

(Votes required: 3 Inq vote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 3 user or 2 Inq votes required to pass.)

Support

  1. SorcererSupreme21 (talk) 10:07, 11 March 2025 (UTC)

Object

Macaroni
  • I'd like to confirm that you checked every source that uses his full name to make sure there were no typos - any mistakes in spelling should be covered in the bts, for example, The Heroes of Rogue One.
  • I'd also like to confirm that you checked all sources listed at Battle of Scarif for potential sources/appearances.
  • "Rebel" should be decapitalized when not in a phrase like "Rebel Alliance."
  • The word "however" cannot be used to join two independent clauses the way "but" can (ie "He wanted to eat cookies, but there were none left" is correct; "He wanted to eat cookies, however there were none left" is not). Please fix this throughout the article - you can replace with "but" or start a new sentence ("He wanted to eat cookies. However, there were none left.")
  • Please give User:Asithol/Proper use of the comma a read as I'm seeing a lot of misused commas.
  • I'd imagine there's a relevant quote from Rebel Files to use for "Cry of rebellion," and there's probably one you can use for "Chaos on the beaches" as well.
  • I'm going to recommend against having images in consecutive paragraphs – it can make the article feel a little jumbled. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:10, 25 August 2024 (UTC)
  • Please avoid contractions, eg "could not" should replace "couldn't".
  • Does Heroes of Rogue One explicitly give his birth year in BBY format?
  • "A cry of rebellion" has two full paragraphs that don't mention Pao, followed by two sentences in the next paragraph. I'd like you to condense all of that context for Scarif into 2-3 sentences.
    • I cut the first one down a little bit more.
  • Check your quote punctuation.
  • Image captions that are full sentences need periods, eg "Pao eating a sandwich" is fine, but "Pao eats a sandwich" would need a full stop.
  • For the Alien Archive quote, a quote within a quote gets single quotes ('') instead of "" JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 23:16, 26 August 2024 (UTC)
  • Two more preliminary objections: is it really citable to RO itself that "before her meeting with the cabinet was even complete, Captain Cassian Andor..." ?
  • You've got a touch of present tense in the last sentence of the first paragraph of P+T. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 03:46, 28 August 2024 (UTC)
Thrawn
spookly
  • Article is currently present in maintenance categories: Category:Topps usages with archived URLs not in Archive, Category:LEGOWebCite usages with the same archivedate value, Category:LEGOYouTube usages with the same archivedate value, which essentially means their archivedates need to be moved off the page and into the central ArchiveAccess repository for each template.
  • Seems like the first time Battle of Scarif is linked in the body content is down in the BTS—there surely is a way to move that further up. Also seems like there's a dupe link or two throughout.
  • It'd be appreciated if you could make an italics formatting run for the BTS. Most media, such as the Rogue One Visual Guide, does need to be italicized as a book title. Other things like TFA and the SW part of the SW YouTube channel also need this at first glance; so worth the overall check.
  • Pablo's rank as "Lore Advisor" is not citable to the article it's pointing to; and I'm also unsure if he held that specific title in 2016. The article describes him as working for the Story Group, so just saying "…Lucasfilm Story Group's Pablo Hidalgo…" instead would probably be more accurate, unless his titling at that point in time can be determined.
  • The Heroes of Rogue One is missing any/all contextual information as to what it is; in encyclopedia article cases, that'd be full release date, publisher, and to be formatted in " instead of italics.
  • It's generally optimal to avoid links in quote captions whenever reasonably feasible, unless good cause as to not, which means Neal Scanlan's should be moved into the BTS somewhere.
  • If Rogue One's trailer is being mentioned (first paragraph of the BTS); it needs its full release date + the avenue in which it was released (was it a Celebration trailer, a YT one, or shown somewhere else?) Also, if this is indeed the first picturing of Pao, there is no {{1stm}} next to the trailer in Sources to indicate this.
  • "… first story trailer…"—I'm also unsure this is accurate. Per Jalice Andit; other trailers of this film existed prior to the one listed here, so it would not be the first trailer, and the term 'story trailer' would also have to be additionally cited if its applicable. It may be better to simply say he appeared in a trailer without specifying. The Celebration one is—not exactly hard to find, but kinda out of the way, so I'd like to verify that that one has been checked for Pao as well.
  • All mentions of the visual guide need the note that most Rogue One SAs have to indicate that the book had the same release date as the film.
  • Also for BTS, any numbers under 100, per the MOS, need to be spelled out.
  • If Pao does appear in the novelization and junior novelization, these appearances must be marked as simultaneous with the film such as done here and appropriately mentioned in the BTS.—spookywillowwtalk 17:32, 11 September 2024 (UTC)
    • I believe I have addressed/fixed all objects! Mor9347 (talk) 22:58, 12 September 2024 (UTC)
      • Junior novelization and novelization aren't said to be released on the same day as the film in the BTS. While the Visual Guide does have it saying it came out on the same day, that is not sourceable to the reference book itself (most SAs use that one centralized RO media cite to condense reference usage).
        • Got those! Mor9347 (talk) 05:54, 20 September 2024 (UTC)
      • Copy-edit; did go ahead and fix then strike some of the above, but for future please note a few things: trailers are listed as {{1stm}} as opposed to {{1stp}}, headers must always be in == and not bolded, most media has specified italicization per the WP:MOS, so full italicizing films doesn't work, as the Episode part must be left not italicized, and then that curly ' are disallowed.—spookywillowwtalk 19:55, 19 September 2024 (UTC)
        • Thank you for tackling those for me and giving me future advice :) Mor9347 (talk) 05:53, 20 September 2024 (UTC)
  • Infobox sources Drabatan and male to reference 4, while the body has this to reference 1. It doesn't matter which it's made to be, but both need to match. The same applies for amber and gray in the infobox.
  • The PT uses "by 1 BBY"; but this is not sourceable to the reference book alone.
  • Gender needn't be in both the Biography and PT.
  • In the first sentence of the BTS, it's sourcing the film's release date to itself, which doesn't support itself.—spookywillowwtalk 19:55, 19 September 2024 (UTC)
    • I think I've gotten the rest of these now Mor9347 (talk) 05:53, 20 September 2024 (UTC)
      • It seems as if the species is now unsourced overall in the infobox. Amber and gray are still sourced to ref 4 in the infobox as noted above; in the PT, both amber and gray are cited to refs 2 and 18, respectively, and these will need to be consistent (doesn't matter which is picked).—spookywillowwtalk 20:04, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
        • sorry for all the mistakes with the sourcing, I think it's cleaned up now. Mor9347 (talk) 05:07, 4 October 2024 (UTC)
  • Seems as if some of the refs need a formatting run; for instance, the one used for Pao's death links to its own page, capitalizes Death, and formats the film in short story form.
  • From some of the above, "…adaptations of the film which were released alongside the movie." was added regarding the adult and junior novelizations, but the "alongside the movie" cannot be sourced to either novel. This should instead use this article, which can also be used to source the film's release date upon first mention and the "released on the same day" bit for the visual guide, as ref minimization is done whenever possible.
  • Though most of the other OOU individuals in the BTS have context upon introduction, Jake Lunt Davies and Neal Scanlan don't seem to. While not required wholesale (as in, if none have it, that's fine), whenever some have it, to be consistent, all should have it.
  • Ultimate Star Wars, New Edition reference should be investigated to whether it can be sourced to Ultimate Star Wars, New Edition due to the standard of moving to newer iterations of the same publications where available due to generally considering them more accessible/accurate.—spookywillowwtalk 20:04, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
    • Done with these! Mor9347 (talk) 05:07, 4 October 2024 (UTC)
  • I'm going to heavily bet {{CelebrationTrailer}}—particularly given its just a Wook formatting template rather than a video link—cannot support the dates for which 2016 Celebration took place (a note: a larger trend of being more careful with checking if everything sourced to a reference indeed can be would be optimal).
  • Regarding Luggabeast being capitalized in the BTS; is this the case certainly, for Arnold's one? There seems to be a decent number of sources that say the species is generally presented decapitalized
  • It may be better to say "a luggabeast in…" rather than "the luggabeast in…"; makes it more evergreen, as that would have to be updated if more than one of that species ever gets confirmed for the film (or already may be).
  • If Rogue One is using Anthology Series for context, then likewise, TFA should be mentioned as sequel trilogy for consistency with film context. It should be double-checked that the 2015 year for TFA is present in that Insider article to be sure.
  • Rogue Visual Guide missing its author; even though mentioned lower; still needs to be first introduced alongside the book since it's higher up, before having the later stuff below.
  • Second paragraph: "Pao originated from a sketch—"—if this is the case (aka, the character having any sort of pre-origin than for RO), then the first sentence of the BTS is inaccurate, as the character—even if changes were made later to the design—was not entirely "created for" Rogue One. This could be changed to "first introduced" or "debuted" instead.
  • While I've done a bit of tweaking, I'm going to re-iterate (as per above objections) to check again for WP:MOS formatting errors; primarily regarding italics. RO Visual Guide, TFA, Rogue One, and Star Wars (just, the franchise name) each have one instance each of not being italicized. Also, the full film name of TFA is fine and good to have in its full form where its first linked; but in the several mentions past that, it should ideally be using the shortened form (just The Force Awakens). It does this sometimes, but it's pretty inconsistent, so should be brought to the same.
  • The Star Wars Encyclopedia bit; it should mention "first released in French on...…"; and, the English edition (released later) should be checked to as to whether the error was corrected. If not, even though we don't have firm dates for the English publication, it should be noted that the error got reprinted at some point afterward in the English edition.
  • Is Star Wars Go Rogue as a series confirmably needing to have " around it? Its page doesn't seem to indicate this atm.—spookywillowwtalk 02:53, 21 October 2024 (UTC)
    • I've checked the stuff that needed checking and addressed the errors! Mor9347 (talk) 12:34, 21 October 2024 (UTC)
  • Assault on the Mako-Ta Space Docks definitely can't be flatcited to the story for its ABY date. And also, "Mako-Ta" or "space docks" as terms don't seem to be present in this story either; but, the entire section is cited to it.
  • Grammatically, the sentence "He often muttered oaths and curses in Drabatese, he understood Galactic Basic Standard however due to the structure of his jaw he struggled to pronounce words." needs to be fixed (by just reading through it, should see what I mean).
  • On Sa'Kalla, it's indicated that her name was taken up as a war cry by 1 BBY. But, this information isn't mentioned here until the PT. Ideally, it would be introduced in the biography higher up, as he must have learned of the incident/of her by that time to have used the term at Scarif.
  • Am seeing some linking of articles such as "a" "an" "the" being included in pipelinks; these should be moved outside of.
  • The "Development" BTS section is four paragraphs, which isn't optimal with modern standard. It may be advisable to move the 4th paragraph there about errors to be with the deleted and altered scenes (and tweaking that section title). Mainly, since chopped content and errors are sort of similar things, and the errors isn't so much development/milestones and then that section also happens to be only one paragraph, which isn't optimal.—spookywillowwtalk 05:41, 4 November 2024 (UTC)
    • Done I believe! Mor9347 (talk) 09:17, 8 November 2024 (UTC)
Lew
  • Category:Audio files of Paodok'Draba'Takat should be made and included within the mediacat Lewisr (talk) 22:06, 17 September 2024 (UTC)
  • Will need to make a slight BTS addition to note about Pao being at the showcase panel at celebration 2023, this article has a picture of him and can be cited for the panel and date, which should also be listed. There's a YouTube within that article that should be listed separately as well Lewisr (talk) 05:42, 17 March 2025 (UTC)
    • Added, the video in the article was also already listed as a source! Mor9347 ForPipadaLogo-UserImage (Talk) 03:56, 18 March 2025 (UTC)
Wok
  • Edit: updated copyedit. Here's my copyedit for your review
  • In the intro, it would be nice to have a time period included in the bit about Pao leaving Pipada. Not sure if there's anything somewhat precise to date that but if not, just saying during the Imperial Era would suffice.
  • When you mention Pao becoming a corporal, is that a corporal within Rebel Alliance Special Forces? If so, methinks that would be good to include there.
  • For the Death Star plans part, you should contextualize the Death Star as a battle station or superweapon.
  • Jyn and K2 should be contextualized in the intro, either individually or you could also just contextualize Andor, Erso, and K2 all together as rebels.
  • The intro mentions the demolition skills as coming in handy at Scarif but never mentions how. I would either remove that or add in how they were useful in the fight.
  • In Early life, should the Crackdown really be linked where you mention the initial Imperial occupation? It seems to me like the Crackdown happened after the Empire had began their occupation.
  • Very minor but also in that section, where you say "to further expand the Imperial Military forces" - I think either "to further expand the Imperial Military" or "to further expand Imperial Military forces" would read cleaner. Thoughts?
  • In A cry of rebellion, "his first known mission" feels unnecessary to include. It's not required to acknowledge that we don't know of any prior missions. You can just say he went on the mission to Foerost without this note.
  • Just a general note, I think it would be best to refer to characters consistently with or without their rank instead of only sometimes. Wok142 (talk) 03:54, 22 November 2024 (UTC)
  • In the Battle of Scarif section, last paragraph, is it really accurate to say Bodhi is their only way off the planet? The ship itself yes, but not necessarily Bodhi himself, right?
  • Right after the above part, the next two sentences kind of start the exact same with "The troopers/Rogue One then." I would try to not use "then" both times there since it is a bit play-by-play.
  • Last sentence of this paragraph is a run-on and should be broken up into at least two sentences. I also think the last part of it reads a little awkward. It says Pao gets one explosive, plants it somewhere, but then mentions several more being planted elsewhere. Is Pao planting all those ones too? Saying he gets one explosive but then mentioning multiple being planted doesn't match.
  • Next section, "behind a crate behind Baze Malbus" feels like excessive detail when it could read smoother as either Pao taking cover behind a crate or near Baze Malbus. The latter part of that sentence where it focuses solely on Baze also seems like it could be cut since what weapon Baze is using doesn't really pertain to Pao.
  • Would it make sense to you to link Sa'Kalla (movement) to Pao yelling that as a war cry?
  • I'm guessing that "The Battle of Scarif was the first major victory for the Rebel Alliance." is not citable to A New Hope. Is there another source that states this?
  • Last sentence of Sacrifice not in vain, I think you should directly state who "some" refers to to be most clear. Also in that part, I would remove the "late" description since it feels redundant given that the following details describe how they all perished.
  • Zev should have direct context as a pilot or a rebel or something like that
  • It would be good to directly state that the reason Luke retired the Rogue One callsign was because of them. Currently the article only says "the next pilot should not go by Rogue One" and that it "was retired."
    • From here up has been addressed or has been forwarded to discord for further discussion. Mor9347 (talk) 21:56, 24 November 2024 (UTC)
  • In Remembered for decades, who recovered the files?
  • First sentence of the Equipment section is a bit of a run-on and should be split
  • In the last two lines of Equipment, you use also twice pretty close together. I would try to trim one of those and replace it with varying language.
  • In the bts, I would move the LSG contextualization of Hidalgo to the first mention of him. Same thing for Woodfine with the context of being the "external puppeteer."
  • Not sure what the "as confirmed by creature effects supervisor Neal Scanlan" bit is about. Is Scanlan confirming movements that Woodfire is making?
  • Couple things for the sentence "Pao's support team always arrived on set before anyone else according to Arnold, they mapped out the set and got Arnold used to the area before shooting his scenes, on set he was additionally guided by other actors." Firstly, I think it would read smoother if you moved "According to Arnold," to be the start of the sentence. Secondly, the "on set he was additionally guided by other actors" part sort of just feels tacked on. I'd say this detail would be better to include in the previous sentence where you mention how Kasey guided him through set.
  • You mention the support team as arriving an hour early and then later say that MacPherson arrived an hour earlier than anyone else. I'm assuming that this is not meant to say that MacPherson arrived two hours early, an hour before the rest of the team, who then arrived an hour early, but it does read like that potentially. This could be solved by either mentioning MacPherson earlier to then include her in the team that arrived an hour early, or by saying that MacPherson "also arrived early" or something like that to be clear that she was part of the same group of early arrivals.
  • In Edits and errors, what does "sniffing out a battle" mean? Is it like locating a fight?
  • Second sentence of this section could probably be split as well
  • In the part describing the plot of Going Rogue, there are some inconsistencies with the tense that should be remedied. Wok142 (talk) 19:38, 22 November 2024 (UTC)
  • Objections for the New BTS:
    • When introducing Arnold, you say "lent/lend his talents" twice in the same sentence. I would opt for varying language there instead. Maybe you could say "worked on" when listing the Force Awakens characters?
    • "Due to a rewrite, Pao was pushed up" - What does this mean? Pushed up in the filming schedule? Just pushed up the priority list for Arnold?
    • "He detailed how he had fallen in love with the design and wanted to play around with the design of the large mouth." - is this referring to Arnold or Edwards? I would use their name here to avoid confusion
    • For the tongue part, instead of saying "not following through with," what about a word like "scrapping" or "abandoning"?
    • Context for Woodfine needed
    • "while the outside sounded like a light humming" - what about something like "while a light humming could still be heard from outside the head" ?
    • First sentence in last paragraph of Plight of Pao, who is "they" ? Just like the crew in general or what. Would be good to specify. Wok142 (talk) 17:11, 8 December 2024 (UTC)
  • Making my way back through this. Here's another copyedit for you to glance over.
    • Looks good to me! Mor9347 ForPipadaLogo-UserImage (Talk) 23:13, 6 February 2025 (UTC)
  • In the intro, the sentence about retreating and the AT-ACT getting taken down by fighters doesn't seem very Pao-centric. I would suggest removing this or making these details more directly pertaining to Pao's participation in the battle. Wok142 (talk) 22:18, 6 February 2025 (UTC)
    • I tried to make it fit but I remembered that it's the intro and not the biography lol so you're right it isn't needed. Removed! Mor9347 ForPipadaLogo-UserImage (Talk) 23:13, 6 February 2025 (UTC)
SoriSuspp9cii90920e
  • Should the main squad be listed under Affiliations in the infobox? SorcererSupreme21 (talk) 11:40, 10 March 2025 (UTC)
  • It might be worth mentioning Scarif somewhere in the lead. SorcererSupreme21 (talk) 11:40, 10 March 2025 (UTC)
  • It might also be worth noting in "Early life" that Sa'Kalla was executed by the Empire, instead of that she just died. SorcererSupreme21 (talk) 11:40, 10 March 2025 (UTC)
  • Pao's height in feet and inches should be mentioned in P&T alongside meters. SorcererSupreme21 (talk) 11:40, 10 March 2025 (UTC)
    • Addressed all objections! thank you for reviewing!Mor9347 ForPipadaLogo-UserImage (Talk) 23:06, 10 March 2025 (UTC)

Comments

Mor
  • The BTS is a mess at the moment and will be dealt with and reformatted, any objections regarding the BTS will be handled in the reformatting and implemented once completed. Mor9347 ForPipadaLogo-UserImage (Talk) 17:46, 7 December 2024 (UTC)
    • BTS Successfully reformatted, object away Mor9347 ForPipadaLogo-UserImage (Talk) 09:07, 8 December 2024 (UTC)