Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Nil Spaar

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Nil Spaar

(6 Inqs/2 users/8 total)

Support

  1. Inqvote Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 20:21, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
  2. Thanks Ataru. Chack Jadson (Talk) 14:00, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Master Aban Fiolli {Alpheridies University ComNet} 23:07, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Gonk (Gonk!) 15:03, 18 March 2008 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote -- Darth Culator (Talk) 15:06, 18 March 2008 (UTC)
  6. Went through this in IRC. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:27, 18 March 2008 (UTC)
  7. Inqvote The eye thing is still weird... Greyman(Talk) 05:05, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
  8. Inqvote Forged in the crucible of my cubicle. Graestan(Talk) 04:18, 27 March 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

  1. Things Fiolli didn't have time to mention earlier:
    • "Unlike Organa Solo, who adhered to her word to keep the meetings private, the duplicitous Spaar was already compromising the conditions of his conferences with the Chief of State." Second "already" in two sentences seems a bit awkward. Sorry.
      • Fixed.
    • "Spaar insisted that all the Yevetha desired was to return to their homeworld, and Organa Solo capitulated in the midst of the public relations disaster, lowering the shields and allowing the Aramandia to leave Coruscant." I'm not sure what this means, to be honest.
      • Rephrased it.
    • "Only one being escaped, a Grannan named Plat Mallar, who managed..." Only one having escaped...?
      • Fixed.
    • "Spaar was greeted by thousands of adoring Yevetha, who now viewed him as god-like. His return was nothing short of triumphant, and the general populace of the Yevetha adored Spaar." Perhaps reorganizing the clauses like this: "Spaar's return was nothing short of triumphant as he was greeted by thousands of adoring Yevetha. The general populace showed great adoration, viewing his as god-like." Maybe something like this might be a little less redundant and more smooth.
    • Nice work, Ataru. Master Aban Fiolli {Alpheridies University ComNet} 05:48, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
  2. I never thought I would be able to dig up this old quote... but I underestimated Google's awesomeness: (Dan's 6/5/02 post). I think it's worth mentioning in the BTS. -- Ozzel 10:12, 14 March 2008 (UTC)
  3. From the Gonk of Gonk:
    • "As a trivial matter to Spaar, his spy, Ourn, kept him apprised of these details, but Spaar told the Paqwepori consul that the impending threat of war kept him from sending a replacement ship." The construction of this sentence makes it unclear what precisely was a trivial matter to Spaar.
    • Hopefully I found everything else; this was one of those articles I got too interested in and had trouble remembering to look for mistakes! Gonk (Gonk!) 13:20, 17 March 2008 (UTC)
  4. From Graestan the Mighty:
    • Links are not always provided upon their first mention, even in the intro. Please remedy this.
    • Your lack of pronouns [in the intro] disturbs me.
    • "The Yevetha were initially successful and even captured Commodore Han Solo, whom Spaar physically assaulted after the New Republic attacked a Yevethan shipyard, transmitting the feed to the New Republic." – Move the last clause to fit right after "assaulted" and reword the second "New Republic," please.
    • "Though horrified, Spaar's brutality…" Agreement issues.
    • Specify who Sorannan is in the intro.
    • Explain his death a little more in the intro, i.e. how it was done.
      • Um . . . that is how it was done. Could you be a little more specific. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 14:59, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
    • Please explain what Black Sword Command is in a short clause.
    • You definitively state twice that he is the leader of the rebellion.
    • "…so much so that Spaar knew the details of the supposedly sudden Imperial departure." Can you explain these details a bit?
    • Please differentiate Black Sword Command from Black Fleet in the article, or change one to match the other.
    • "to aid Ysanne Isard in the defense of Coruscant" – Please insert a short descriptor for Isard.
    • "had his chance … seized the moment … put their plan in motion" – Reads a bit redundant, and fogs up just when it happened.
    • Paret just let all the slaves go? Please explain.
      • The Yevetha? Yes, his orders were to get all of them off the shipyards and destroy them with his ships. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 14:59, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
    • Explain how the Yevetha came back aboard.
    • "including a series of bombs that would destroy Intimidator if it activated its shields" – Did it raise its own shields?
      • I'm guessing you're not familiar with the source material. The book states that it was a contingency plan in case the Yevetha failed to capture the ship. Since Intimidator was not destroyed and no mention of the bombs going off, it's logical to assume that it did not happen. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 14:59, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
        • No, it's passive. I just wanted a mention of how the shields raised—whether it was automatic or by controllers. Graestan(Talk) 15:19, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
          • That precise detail is not given, unless I'm looking in the wrong spot. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 20:50, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
    • The capture of the bridge is described twice.
    • "per the evacuation plan" needs some more context.
    • Please explain what the Duskhan League is, and explain what become the viceroy entails.
    • Explain a bit more about the developments Spaar noticed on his trip, and the ramifications.
    • Mention Spaar's journey to Coruscant somewhere before "his entrance was carefully choreographed."
    • "appearance and demeanor were carefully rehearsed to appear" – Yeah.
    • Explain the locale and setting of the private talks.
    • [[Aramadia-class thrustship|''Aramadia'']] – Is this intentional?
      • No, and it's been fixed.
    • Explain the Yevethan Purge, and how the NR was privy to information about the Black Fleet.
      • Explained the second part. What more information needs to be added about the purge? It seems comprehensive to me. Chack Jadson (Talk) 13:16, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
    • Please either create a diplomatic hostel article or call it "a" diplomatic hostel. Or both. ;)
    • Who gave Peramis permission?
    • Please explain initially what the broadcast is.
    • Alpha Blue needs a little background, and the half dozen individuals need to be identified.
    • Please expound on the Fifth Fleet's business near the cluster.
    • "Once the Republic was paralyzed by political infighting … upon his return" – Not to be used together.
    • "who informed him of the Fifth Fleet's redeployment to Koornacht" – When did this happen? Explain a little.
    • What's the earlier mission you allude to?
    • The Fifth Fleet seems to have moved again; please provide detail.
    • Explain what Doornik-319 is.
    • "Later, a reconnaissance X-wing pilot blew himself and his ship up near a Yevethan corvette after they attempted to capture him, destroying the ship. In response, Spaar sent the officer in charge home in disgrace" – Clarify.
    • Which fleet would he send a spy shuttle to? And is there an article for the spy shuttle?
    • Tig Peramis is explained twice.
    • "Solo was taken before Spaar and interrogated, then beaten by the darama." The darama is never explained before this, aside from a fleeting reference in the intro. Please explain at the beginning of the body.
    • Explain the Fallanassi illusions a bit. Also, explain their role in the conflict somewhat.
    • Define "breederies." Create an article, if it's something specified in the books.
    • Confirm Spaar's actual cause of death, or tell me here that K-McD leaves it at that.
    • OR in the P&T. Please remove.
      • It would be appreciated if you were more specific. Yevethan xenophobia is well-documented, if that's what you're referring to. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 14:46, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
    • A quote is linked to an external site, with no listing in the Sources or Notes and references, and no explanation of what the source is.
      • Do you have MoS or precedent to support justifying a note/source appearance. If it was a source, it would have to be canon, and the author's website is not canon. Adding a reference would only add redundant citations. On the other hand, there is precedent for including OOU quotes from other sources on articles without citation.
        • You could add a BtS sentence about K-McD's site explanation, and cite it in a reference tag. Graestan(Talk) 15:19, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
    • Source list needs to be sorted in order of publication date.
    • Infobox not fully sourced.
      • Could you be a bit more specific on the infobox? I see references by everything and redundant sourcing is not in the MoS. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 14:46, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
        • Succession box. "None." My bad; sorry. Graestan(Talk) 15:19, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
    • Graestan(Talk) 05:44, 19 March 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Approved by Inquisitorius 04:18, 27 March 2008 (UTC)

  • Yet another WP:NEGTC nomination. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 20:21, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
  • I can't object with this, because I have no idea where I read it, but I know that somewhere someone (Rostini? Dan?) sais that the reason he has an eye in is hand is because Sutfin thought it would look cool. —Unsigned comment by Ozzel (talk • contribs)