Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Min Erethen

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Min Erethen

  • Nominated by: Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 19:25, May 1, 2012 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: A droid designer for Barn-burner 4!

(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. ~SavageBOB sig 01:14, May 13, 2012 (UTC)
  2. Plagueis327 23:53, May 13, 2012 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 01:07, June 5, 2012 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Nice work. --Eyrezer 10:07, June 18, 2012 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 10:54, June 19, 2012 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote Good work. Menkooroo 17:30, June 20, 2012 (UTC)

Object

Savaged…
  • "use information on them" -- Can you elaborate here? Was the info written on the droids' chassis? Was it held by the droids? In their memories?
  • "Eventually the group defending Erethen was able to either kill or scare off the bounty hunters" -- I realize it's impossible to say whether the canonical outcome is killing the bounty hunters or chasing them away, but I don't think we're allowed to leave that ambiguity in the main part of the article. Rather, you should mention the two outcomes in BTS, and here say something more ambiguous. Perhaps, "Eventually the group defending Erethen was able to neutralize the threat posed by the bounty hunters"?
  • I feel like there's a lot of repeated information in "Equipment." Is this standard in character articles? I'd maybe pare it down a bit, since most of this information is already discussed in "Biography."
    • I removed the information in the equipment section referrring to the droids and the modifications she made to her vehicle on Krykas V. I have never written much of an equipment section before, so this is my first one to be much longer than "So and so owned a blaster pistol and wore heavy battle armor at some point in his/her life."--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 14:38, May 11, 2012 (UTC)
  • BTS bounces between present and past tense when discussing the running of the adventure. You should pick one or the other and stick with it.
  • Although the adventure is vague about when it takes place, is is possible to establish any firmer idea of a timeframe based on the equipment Erethen had access to? For instance, has any source established when ASP-7 droids were first produced? That kind of info might help us better place the adventure on the timeline.
    • The ASP-7 article and the Graph 18 surface locator article both say that they were available in the Rise of the Empire era and the Rebellion era. Unfortunately, all the sources I have access to do not have any information on the era they were used in. However, from a piece of equipment used by the bounty hunters (the LaserHone Duelist vibrorapier) I can definitely say that the adventure took place in the Rise of the Empire era or later.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 14:38, May 11, 2012 (UTC)
  • There were some places where it sounded like Erethen was a female Humand droid who designed weapons, so I tried to reword there. This turned into a general copy edit, so please check that I didn't inadvertently change the meaning of anything! All from me. Very nice work. ~SavageBOB sig 13:47, May 11, 2012 (UTC)
Floyd
  • Intro: "However, she personally disliked violence." You should merge this with the preceding sentence, perhaps with a hyphen, since it would be better for the flow.
  • Intro: Since many groups wanted to lure her away, you should probably mention that she was very valuable and good at her job. This also applies to the body.
  • Mention the electronic disturbances on Krykas more explicitly in the body.
  • In both the intro and the body, you mention assassins—any context available on why assassins would try to kill her?
    • The only mention of assassins is that she was cautious against assassins when the players meet her and also when the Faunor brothers who were ordered to kill her if someone got to her first. So there really isn't anymore information on that.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 01:10, June 4, 2012 (UTC)
  • Good work. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 23:43, June 3, 2012 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 17:30, June 20, 2012 (UTC)