Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Marda Ro's hunt

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was withdrawn. Please do not modify it.

Marda Ro's hunt

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spookly
  • Do think, in this particular case, the intro length falls a bit too long out of what we would normally strive for here at this count; there's a pinned graph in #status-article-nominations that illustrates the rough averages for FAs. Obviously, that is just an average and it's not strict, but, this has five paragraphs at 1975 words: for comparison, Pijal is just under 9000 words and has the same number of paragraphs. I'd reccomend doing a mix of trimming it slightly and combining the shorter ones into the larger ones.
    • cut it down intro three paragraphs Sanathestarr (talk) 20:09, 27 October 2024 (UTC)
  • "The beginnings" has room for a picture of the Leveler next to the third paragraph.
    • had to resection it since the image squished the paragraph into needing to be split, but added an image Sanathestarr (talk) 14:06, 27 October 2024 (UTC)
  • Consistently, we avoid one-paragraph sections and aim for 2-3. For that reason, "Old uncle" and "Desire for more" should be merged here, especially since they're not particularly chunky paragraphs. I'm sure the new section title could be some sort of combo of the existing ones so as to make sense.
  • "Desire for more" introduces Yana as Marda's cousin; however, the BTS adds an extra ref for "cousin", which seems unneded here.
  • Overall, I do think in general, a sweep should be made for prosifying dialogue to focus on actions. Particularly for event articles, which are a bit more overview-esque than character articles, this is particularly important, and there's a lot of play-by-play dialogue recounted.
    • gone through and changed anything I figured could be prosified more, let me know if I've missed anything Sanathestarr (talk) 20:50, 27 October 2024 (UTC)
      • Did make a few tweaks in the copy-edit, but do think the three "Meeting the Faers" sections are where the issue is (now) primarily centralized. I think strolling through these specifically for actions not relevant to the hunt (like short, stunted-esque sentences about Alirya bringing liquor and it being ignored) would be suitable. As an event article, these very often do not include dialogue at all in precedent but rather go much more high level. Happy to as well make a pass through to clean the odds and ends up if you like if preferred since prosifying is fun.—spookywillowwtalk 23:27, 27 October 2024 (UTC)
  • I've copy-edited this on some other noms, but I do see it a few times here: (pictured) should always go before ending punctuation on quote captions.
  • The BTS should, in this case, be trimmed and reworded to be more concise to the points relevant to the event (the hunt) itself. A lot of that information is relevant for, say, the twins' pages, but less so here. Particularly, the prose wording is almost 1:1 as is used on other pages, which isn't optimal.
  • We do ask that all usages of "disabled" be swapped out with a synonym.
  • Will need that audiobook CT fix thing.—spookywillowwtalk 01:19, 14 October 2024 (UTC)
  • Review note: copy-edit; would be careful with present tense in the future, as a good bit of the article was written in that form / had contractions as well.—spookywillowwtalk 23:27, 27 October 2024 (UTC)

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